Andrew, are you going to drink?
I: You know, I don’t drink.
Siroga (pulls himself a stake joyfully bursting under his nose): I know who to offer!

MagicMist: I remembered our elderly Russian language teacher, who seriously believed that it was harmful for girls to ride a bicycle. The seat is rubbed between the legs, you can get excited, lose control of the road situation and get in an accident. Jeans as well. The clutter shakes, excites, and instead of learning, you’ll sit down and want a man.

This is where each character of the Mesharikov has a latex suit of a pig Nushia?

In Cyprus, we are fishing.
Nina from the toilet.
Will you come?
I approach, the door opens, the hand with the phone rises, a voice from the inside says:
Come up and update my page.

From Habr:
It was 2050.
Foreign sales fell by 1500%. Only the car was pleased.
As it turned out, not putting a gasoline compatibility chip was a far-reaching decision.
At the time when all manufacturers wiped in their cars chips, which allowed to refuel cars only on original tanks, AutoVAZ did not take this popular step and now received a rage profit. It all started with coffee. Then the printers. The most brutal blow was inflicted by the manufacturers of refrigerators – they stopped working if the products were not purchased in their branded store and through a branded app. Apple Corporation has provided the new iPhone 35. The list of technical innovations in this model marked new more rounded edges and a more rectangular shape of the rectangle.

Small 6 years. A tooth fell. They told him to put it under the pillow for the night, so that the fairy would take it and leave the money for him.
Early in the morning and with the money I go slowly to look for the tooth. I do not find. Looking carefully, the child is waking up.
He has a tooth in his fist, and I have money in my hand.
The child no longer believes.

"Shouldn"Shouldn"

I will give birth to you, I will give birth to you and Sambuffer. Taras Bulba

I broke my back in the winter. I was placed in the traumatology room. All the neighbors were lying. Who has broken legs, who has broken legs.

In the middle of the night I was sick. The pain in my back split me in half. I lay down and cuddled. I could not cry, especially screaming. And this was heard by an old grandmother by diagonal from me.

Very badly?

Wowow (Barbra Streisand)

I will go for help.

This old woman slipped out of her bed and cuddled before going out. I don’t remember what she was lying with, not walking. She whispered like a sirene and awakened the whole department.

The nurse came to the concert and asked – why didn’t they call right away? ? to

I am relatively young, but my childhood was not struck by a powerful influx of computers, so all of our childhood was spent on the street. In our courtyard there was a large hammer, a type of "ship", in which two people were placed by the idea, and by the fact of six - two were sitting, as it was planned, two more were standing on their backs, performing the role of "engines" and two more, especially frozen, in the middle, in fact, held only by the weight of their steel eggs. As is appropriate, on this hovercraft "sunshine" was rotated, specifically for this were equipped with special "teams", 2-6 people, who competed with each other on "who will turn the sunshine more" usually by time. Of course, the grandmothers in the store knew about these merits, and therefore, the whole courtyard. One day, a kind of restrictor appeared on the hoverboard - someone hit a metal pipe on top of the hoverboard, which did not allow it to make a full turn, of course, this invention was not approved by our court council, because it completely killed the whole competitive process, a strategic decision was made to eliminate this pipe, first tried to tear it off with their hands - unsuccessfully, then someone pulled the rope from the house, and we, in the number of 5-7 people started to tear it off by the team - again no success. Someone brought a stitch, and we started to work, drank in turn, because it wasn't possible to stay at such a height for a long time - we quickly tired. Closer to the evening, we, quite tired but reluctantly refusing to give up, made the strategic decision to break this constraint with the cane itself.



Here we clumped up on it in the number of 5 people, and began to crack, in our inflamed collective brain firmly sat the thought that problems will not bring us, and the straw we loaded will easily pass through the obstacle in the form of this pipe, and in the morning we can proudly raised the head, say to the whole court - "it is we have removed it," and here the straw is approaching the restrictor, a little more and it will be removed, as we thought, but the laws of physics did not guess about our intentions, which we learned a little later, who is right under the straw, who is already in the hospital. The result: broken bone in the amount of 10 pieces (namely: legs - 2 pieces. Hands is 1. Reed - 7 pcs) Other injuries: head cuts - 2 pieces, knees - 3 pieces. The back is 1. And a couple more shocks. In terms of 5 people.



The next day, the restrictor was removed under the pretext of “well, they’re not.” The Victory. Five of us were treated as heroes. Not all at once.

If you don’t forgive me, I’ll beat you!! to

A bank for the rich is to receive interest, and a bank for the poor is to pay interest.

One German Timelader (sic!) He complained to his colleagues for a cup of coffee about the strengthening of Anglicism in beautiful German.
A specialist from Russia who was present during the conversation, without a back-thinking thought, suggested that the timelider be called "Gruppenführer".
The German took a cup of coffee and did not return to the question.

The events of the last few days ruin all my ideals: how can I now believe Forbes, if its analysts have looked through Zakharchenko?! to

Oh, this predictive introduction...
xxx: I picked "Zhopa" and twice without looking, I tapped on the first proposed words. It turned out "The full version".
Download without registration and SMS

The last sleep scene before waking up was a clinic, where the grandmothers shared their impressions of the government’s innovation: everyone who connects a certain amount of things for humanitarian aid to the clinic is driven by a free taxi.

The deadlines are burning, and the promises are already made, I go to the office on Saturday. On the way, I wanted to eat, went to Caravaggio, no free table, took food with me. In the office in our corner is a pleasant half-dark, because there are no windows. No coffee, it ended the day before. I ate, wanted to sleep, decided to realize the dream in open space to fall on the pubs...in general I woke up after an hour and a half, because I dreamed that in the office I was, the work is burning, on the weekend I will have to come :)

xxx: give the pitbull in good hands - kind, affectionate, loving grandmothers

One grandmother for a week.

I met Max. He served in the Marines. Is it not dangerous to health?? to
Ask your husband, the Red Rider.

I don’t sleep so much that I don’t have bags under my eyes, but eyes over my bags.

>>>>>>>>
How fun to learn a rare foreign language, such as Swedish. <...> But none of them know that you’re reading jokes about a pear or a jay fanfic.
<<<<<<<

Swedish in Swedish? Give it, give it two.