Remember: relatives, friends, acquaintances and colleagues lie to you unconsciously! To the question "What’s in my head?" they always answer "Normally everything is in your head". And only completely strangers, strangers on the street will honestly say "Pit..c, guy, you have big problems with your head".

The mother-in-law told how at the entrance to the forest she met two men in expensive costumes and with new identical enamelled cages in their hands. The pattern that began to crack was broken by the question: - And where are the mushrooms gathered here?

The Congregation:
The labyrinth is so cute. "Sadly, the delivery is postponed for September 17. I apologize to you"
The delivery was scheduled to take place on September 18.
"Sorry, we’ve had time before" Such a charm.

Despeinated :
This is something else. One day, TNT lost a package. I have been corresponding with them for a long time, and at the end I received this letter (literally):
We confirm that your package is finally lost. What else can we do for you?

here here :

The little bit of Russian fairy tales that you can watch where what is happening is not Skype, but TV. He had no feedback.

This is a spy camera, because it shows on request.

xxx: briefly about the discipline in our company - employees are late even when working from home

Even drinking with no one - one bowl around.

Before you start running in the morning, take the right running technique, otherwise you can kick your knees to the cockroaches.

I work in a trade firm, once came a batch of goods from China - on one side a box of hieroglyphs, on the other carefully the Chinese in Russian letters duplicated their sound. I remember how we were shocked to the mountain of a box, and on each of the letters in the size of the palm was beautiful among other words.

Recently on the children’s playground:
Matthew, Arsenius, Mark, Eve, Kira... Our Dimka is the most collective farmer in this sandbox.

I found a child car seat on the website of advertisements, called, agreed with a girl that I would come in. Before leaving, I call her, she says that not at home, but at home husband, and drops his number. There is no pen at hand, the phone is at my ear, I have nowhere else to write it, except in the search line of Yandex...
I come, take the chair, and at the end of our conversation there is the following dialogue:
I: Yes, and with your celebration!
M: What kind of celebration? O_0
I: Well, with the wedding anniversary!
M: How do you know?
I: Yes, Mary (woman) told me a little about herself...
A man in full stumbling...
I: Yes, you don’t worry, when I recorded your phone, Yandex gave me a link to the list of brothers of Chertanovsky ZAGS.

The underwear was once again overwhelmed by her allegedly low salary.(They know that they are not separated.) One of the officials told them
So that you live as you do.

was insulted.

After reading the complaints, I begin to think that it is time to take the term "first world problems" from Americans." For example, at work, they give a bonus for a vacation, and you now don't know where to go, and you are suffering with the choice? Is your hand so shaken that it doesn’t get into a bowl of prings? Children are noisy in the courtyard and have nowhere (except their own safe and warm/cool depending on the time of year) to drink beer, smoke and scatter seeds? Congratulations, you have first world problems. No one is sorry for you, everyone is absolutely puppy.

Krampus and Figampus! You review the "Gremlins" and "Odindoma", which seemed to you as a child as fun Christmas comedies, and you will be surprised to find that they are the same gesture as this fig "Crampus", just kids do not see and have fun.

XXX: Okay you are right. No matter what to argue.
ZZZ: Is it all? The end? Do you call me foolish? Do you mean that the dispute on the Internet ended without mutual hatred?

Remember the video of the meteorite in Chelyabinsk:
The universe is trying once to destroy this city, but the pillar of the barrier just burned a meteorite in the atmosphere.

Dr. Morf: I wanted to read the article about clip thinking, but it’s too long.

The owner of the white cat:
Wash the cat off the ground from the pot.
Clean the socks of the cat.
Washing the cat off the paint.
Cleaning the cat's coat.
Wash the cat from unknown substances.
Clean the couch of the cat.
Washing off the cat's food.
Clean the pants of the cat.
Washing off the chocolate cake.
Clean the chocolate cake from the cat.

Recently, at the playground, one mom worried that her one-year-old baby swallowed a small camel. We say to her, “Don’t worry, Valya, it will come out later.
She responds to us:
I am afraid he will go somewhere in the kidneys. Well, there are people with kidney stones, where they come from.
That is, this person really believes that people suffering from urolithiasis just ate stones in their childhood?0 0 O

With geektimes, discuss the Mordor Spot on the North Pole of Charon:
Might Charon just sliced Pluto or a satellite, here is the footprint left
YYY: You can’t just take and rub on another celestial body.
Zzz: And this is the moon: Well, okay...

About bypassing the blocking of pornography:
xxx: b@@
xxx is working
XXX is wow!!! to
Why are you pornographic??? I haven’t watched porn before! ?
XXX: Every day
XXX: I watched
XXX: If the Roskomnadzor prohibits, it means the opposite is good
XX: Demographics will increase