bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №70749
 29.09.2012
xxx: Not so long ago, the notes of an illegal woman who worked as a maid in the United States were leaked here. I was struck by the fact that she wrote about how the police watched the house where the illegals lived, but did not knock on them in the immigration service (and was obliged) because of the fear of losing the confidence of the population. Just think for a moment: they were afraid to lose the trust of the people!!! to
YYY: In fact, the police do not report to the immigration service because it is not their job or their department.
zzz: There was such a law in Texas for police to check the legality of people in the United States. But in the meantime, the police refused to do so. The illegals did not want to call the police when they were victims or witnesses. This has worsened the criminal situation in general. The main objective of the police is order on the street, not the capture of illegal people.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №70748
 29.09.2012
If you are lonely, do not think that you have been forgotten: you are remembered by the women you have deceived, your loyal friends, your forgotten relatives, the bank and the commissariat.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №70747
 29.09.2012
I wait for the march. A few meters from me is a girl. A little later, a man with a cell phone in his hand approached her. The further dialogue:

Boy: What has happened? Yale dropped out of work, the boss almost killed!! Is it okay with you?? to
We’re going to go to such a cool place.
Are you really oh? In what place?! to
I haven’t invented it yet, but you’ll like it!! to

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №70746
 29.09.2012
Life is like that, in general. I woke up, worked, went to sleep. Whoever was lucky, had eaten and gone.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №70745
 29.09.2012
The Curiosity spacecraft has discovered a river on the red planet.
Think of it: a river. Phobos-Grunt has discovered an entire ocean.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №70744
 29.09.2012
chanted
I sit in the movie, I read the movie description.
Tsunami 3D killed just))))
chanted
A maniac terrorizes visitors to a underground supermarket in a small resort town. At this time, a huge tsunami covers the city, and the water begins to flood the store. How to survive this hell?
Moreover, the sea brought with it an even more serious threat... To survive, yesterday’s careless vacationers have to fight not only with a crazy bandit and not only with rising water, but also with a bunch of tiger sharks!
chanted
I see these writers:
- And let's not just a tsunami, but still there to become a shark sting, so that it's worse?
Yes, of course! And another manicure!
Could there be an infection in the water from which humans become zombies?
- No, it's already overwhelming! let only maniacs, tsunamis and sharks!

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №70743
 29.09.2012
New services for gambling establishments:

1C: Lockheed

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №70742
 29.09.2012
You fuck everything that moves! How did I contact you at all?
YYY: Moving

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №70741
 29.09.2012
XXX: How is the weather?
yyy: good, sunshine outside the window, base fell naked

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №70740
 29.09.2012
In a row, one girl complains to another that yesterday in the subway her iPhone was removed.
I’m back home, Raven. Parents ask: "What, the guy dropped?" Yes, it would be better for the guy to lose, they are free!

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №70739
 29.09.2012
I work as a driver in a taxi, I get a call from a customer, who is quite undercover:
A car on Jose Street, 5?
I am like a street, repeat?
That is fucking fucking!! You are like a shit, you are like a fool!! to

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №70738
 29.09.2012
Everyone has rights, but not everyone has the courage to use them.

[ + 14 - ] Comment quote №70737
 29.09.2012
I got married a week ago...Today I go home after work – my wife boasts upgrades. On the question of the cost of "so necessary new clothes" I get a worthy and reasoned answer: "What a difference, it is my salary!". He kept silent, as if you’t argue... The wife, after thinking a little, said, “Dear, forgive me, I shouldn’t have said that... Now everything is OUR! “Your salary is mine too.”

[ + 58 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №70736
 29.09.2012
In the village a cellular communication tower was installed.
A month later, the public filed a complaint. What, to say, there are headaches, deterioration of well-being, insomnia, bla bla bla...
The director’s response was simple:
This is all shit! Think what will happen when we turn it on.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №70735
 29.09.2012
From a group dedicated to hockey. A commentary on the message that Pavel Datsuk scored a shot in the head, but the goal was not counted:
- And it was necessary to count only because some can not get through much larger gates from the head.

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №70734
 29.09.2012
I hope there is a personal hell for those who have come up with building 12-storey houses without cargo lifts and staircases on which two hardly get apart.

[ + 38 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №70733
 29.09.2012
Purchase bars of the United States, England, Russia, you can in highly specialized stores, military themes. They are not just military visitors. And also representatives of various informal currents: Goths, bikers, fans of heavy metals.

<<< fans of heavy metals joke))

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №70732
 29.09.2012
- You know, I took a strapon here yesterday...
I congratulate you.
So I now think what will happen first: will his dog bite or will the child find?
and hm. Well, try to remove it in a place where the child will not be useful for anything.
Is that on the shelf with his textbooks?

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №70731
 29.09.2012
X: You know who you are? You are fucking blonde!
Q: Why is that more?! to
X: Your hair is bright.
A: Well yes yes.

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №70730
 29.09.2012
But the iPhone is not a budget. What does it have, productivity and stability? An analogy - some German, reliable, controlled, powerful, comfortable, Mercedes there or BMW.
Yyy: A failed analogy.
YYY: Here’s a lot better: in the body of the Lamborghini they insert a filler from the Ford Focus and sell it three times more expensive than the Nissan Thean. At the same time, they limit the speed of 50 km / h, arguing this by caring for the consumer ("to not break down") and refueling is given only on branded gas stations with fuel with special additives, times more expensive in cost ("only our fuel is quality"). The removal of the limit on speed and fuel costs some money, is carried out by the domesticated Kulibin, and after it the warranty is canceled.
YYY: At the same time, the happy owners of the unit call theanavods "poor" and put on their tarantus a wild-spirited sport damper so that everyone around them knows that a man is driving on a car.

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