bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №53583
 19.09.2011
Cheap horror movie on track:

Tupac14: Why is this filmed?
da5et: this is filmed that chickens would press to the chickens, and the chickens would touch the chickens

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №53582
 19.09.2011
The taxi driver says:
I mean, two gay people. So happy, much wanted to leave for tea. They ask if the mints are not stopping me, and the devil dragged me to say "yes, they are standing there.
They silenced and paid a penny in a penny.

[ + 111 - ] Comment quote №53581
 19.09.2011
The third day the internet is not working well. Gathered with courage, I call for support:
My name is Irina. Something happened? They respond happily on the wire.
The internet doesn’t work, I respond gently.
Proposes to remove the cable, restart the computer. and the other. Eventually switch to the customer department.
This is Marina. What happened?
The internet does not work.
Gothic The music. switch to those. The Department.
This is Natalia. What happened?
The Third Circle. Gothic and music.
This is Irina. Something happened? There is a familiar voice.
The internet still does not work.
The wire removed? With hope.
and UGU. Irina, do you have any support?
He was alone, she said sadly. But he left, saying that he was tired of the assembly of stupid babies. I don’t know why he didn’t please our clients.
Oh man, I understand you! But go back! Give me the internet.

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №53580
 19.09.2011
The romance has disappeared from our relationship.
Oh yeah, yeah yeah...

[ + 52 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №53579
 19.09.2011
From Habra, about statistics:
The comparison between 1995 and 2010 is very informative. You could have taken the 1960s and 2010s: “Look, in 1960 there was nothing at all, and then how it went!”

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №53578
 19.09.2011
XXX is stopped. Is it Friday? O_O
YYY: No, she was a week ago

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №53577
 19.09.2011
To the story of a man who found in the depths of the closet a pebble soap.

She gave her husband a new toothbrush, put it in a glass, accessible and clearly explained: "Now you will use this brush. And this (I show you the old one) you will no longer use. You have a new one. Here she is, blue, in the glass.The old brush was laid on a remote shelf in the bathroom, where detergents, powder, shoe cream are stored. She didn’t throw it out because it was very convenient for her to clean hard-to-reach places, for example, in children’s little shoes. This, by the way, also explained. So he took her from there for three weeks and brushed her teeth.

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №53576
 19.09.2011
You can guess who I am dating now.
YYY - HZ
XXX begins with A
Is it an ananas?

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №53575
 19.09.2011
From the forum on new trees:

xxx: Yes, for the last five years, I use electricity from native wood, and I don't need any fresh wood, everything works so well!!! to
yyy: silence now, in five years you bought three new comp, major!

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №53574
 19.09.2011
I am the most irreplaceable person in the house-only I know how to set the clock on the microwave)))

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №53573
 19.09.2011
Commentary on the poster with the film "Beautiful":

The only one The only one
I still have my weight.)

Pavel Yeremeyev
by Richard Gere? 😉

[ + 52 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №53572
 19.09.2011
There is a man who writes with a very small emphasis, and when a friend tells him that he has a circumcised emphasis, this fool shouts at the whole audience: I have not a circumcised, but a small one.
Everything is lying =)

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №53571
 19.09.2011
From the forum:
I spend all weekends playing online games, working in the field of internet services, studying for an advanced level, and I have no girlfriend. and :(
Well, man, this is a normal thing.
I am a girl.
- 0_o
That brings some variation, right? xd

[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №53570
 19.09.2011
I got drunk yesterday, I don’t remember anything. In the morning.
Have you seen your white shoes?
I: I saw...
Have you seen your jeans?
I: I saw...
Did you see the white jacket?
I: Fuck, have I even worn my jacket off?
Mother: - No, the jacket is just clean, because it's crazy, you've been on it!
I - O_O

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №53569
 19.09.2011
I have reached the summit of Lenny!
I am lazy to get up and pump the mattress, so I blow it up while lying on it.

[ + 76 - ] Comment quote №53568
 19.09.2011
Why are these generalizations? First they marry chickens, then they begin to claim that all women have no brains. Imagine, my wife completely herself and the apartment and the house arranged - all the measurements were made by herself, only she communicated with the carrier / assembler, the finishing before this was also completely controlled by herself, and everything is fine.
And in general, she is smart and beautiful to me, but I married her out of love, and not in order to shine in front of her and compete who is smarter.

If she did all that, then, boy, it was she who married you. % of

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №53567
 19.09.2011
Cognac for 400 rubles, in fact, costs 500. (Another 100 go for drunk SMSs.)

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №53566
 19.09.2011
I’m on the train, I’m on the tree.
Suddenly I hear a conversation behind my back.
You ruined my whole life.
You are just a shit.
You are just a goat.
I heard a loud whisper.
and add more
Enough of joking.
I turned back and saw a couple of years under 70.

[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №53565
 19.09.2011
Today in the store I heard the dialogue of parents:
What I bought?
and apples
You went for tomatoes.
I went for the pepper.

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №53564
 19.09.2011
Katya Gorhova: I really want to buy a smartphone. No one gives it to me :-(

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna