111: Go to the workshop, switch the monitors. I posted some software there, look at the reaction.
222: When a programmer says "some software," you have to wear a helmet and sit in a seat.

XXX is
We are playing the piano again!
YYYY
Are they playing well?
XXX is
I can’t hear the perforator :(

I have a high IQ of 160.
It is a pity that your level of intelligence is not tied to the desire and ability to use it.

I am such a loser that at the beginning of the Black Mesa experiment went well and the game ended (

I thought it was going to be sent to the post of Russia. Anne is not.
On Saturday, at four o’clock, they bring me a notification (the second, though the first wasn’t) – a long-awaited (1.5 months) mail came. I’m sick, the mail works until 5 o’clock, I’ll be able to pick up. I arrived, touched, joyful, I give notice. The girl looks at him, rushed to the mailings, but changed her mind.
- You have paid the imposed payment... come on Monday.
You work until five.
We work until five. I give the box in two.
The WTF?! to

Report about how he convinced himself to watch porn. As a gentleman, I gave her the right to choose. The first video came out immediately:
No need to get to work! Did you forget that I have an interview on Monday? I’m so nervous, and if I look at it again...
Okay, she’s gone, she’s really nervous. I didn’t like the second one. The "unfortunate expression of the face":
What kind of pleasure can I get if she is obviously uncomfortable? I don’t want to see her suffer.
The Third:
Who made his shirt so bad? There are two sides!!! to
I: He’ll shoot it now.
This is a disrespect to the viewer!
Here I was psychotic, said, let her look for herself, and left to smoke. He returned from his wild booty. I found a geek!!In which a strictly tattooed policeman punished three hooligans dressed as Santa and his elves. When she laughed, sex was 5 stars))) Then asked to buy her a hat:
Like the little boy with puppy eyes. That kind of foot!
You will understand these women. As a girl is pushed by a completely normal member, so she is bad, and as in the "elpha" a huge "bubble" ticks, so he is "bubble".

Turn on the TV
"The mutant goat gives milk!"
Shut off the TV

by Maile
X: Who uses the vocabulary more - grammar or illiterate?
Y: It’t bother you.

Meeting room, 10 minutes before the start of the general meeting, at 19:50. Deputy in finance and economics bubbles under his nose: "10 Negroes went to swim in the sea. One drowned and two remained.

In the HUB:
XX: If you left the business unsupervised for a couple of months, and when you came back, you noticed that the business has not just collapsed, it has remained at the same level, and has also grown a little bit - it means it is a business.

Yes, on the topic of how women watch porn, you can write long and delicious.
We watch the video, where the type of "loaders" carry the furniture, and then the hostess thankes them as she can. Suddenly my broke. I ask what the matter is. Ticks your finger to the screen: "This is not Hollywood, where you can drag a foam sofa for at least a whole day, the furniture is real. Poor kids!" I can see that they really have red faces, they blow up =) And ahead of them are 2 chairs, a piano, and TRACH! My: Listen, it seems to me that it is just a porn producer decided to combine his move with filming, and arranged on the ball of actors sofas to wear, as in the army of soldiers at the general houses are forced to stumble.

Just in a dispute with the girl, when the victory was in my hands already received a message.
Honestly, the arguments are over, but that doesn’t mean you’re right and I’m not.

Really, what did I hope for?! to

Go to the kitchen, I will hinder the paste, and you will hinder me.

Ashes: When we were young, my father once decided to teach us PDD. I gave the brochure, told all three to read, said, and then checked.
Ashes: We, of course, threw her somewhere, knowing that our father was not before us. My brother tried to read something, but he quickly got tired.
Ashes: A few months later on the road to the village, Dad decided to check us. He asks, what is the sign?
Ashes: brother, uncertainly: "give up the road?" - dad kicks. - "Stay down the road".
Ashes: "good, and this?" - shows on "cattle race"
Shut up for a few minutes, I don’t know.
Ashes: and suddenly sister, joyfully and solemnly: "STOP THE COW?"

From the discussion of the appendix (inscriptions on the price list "stainless steel soap"):
The rough Chelyabinsks wash with iron soap! A stainless steel soap is for women and young children.
Gray, you are wrong! The child is aluminum. It is soft and does not shake the eyes.
Who is aluminum, who is copper (from the red line), and someone prefers heavier - lead, or from a liquid series - mercury...
zzz: Another uranium - bactericidal (helps very well teenage facial skin) and titanium - for real men.

Let the old monkey have a heart attack and paralysis, or hold on to the throne... and hold on to the swallow. Although, it is more likely that Prince Charles will die from old age than the old wallet will let the scepter go.

At least the queen does not pretend to have been elected by the people.

by Fo4ka:
My mom broke out today! Go out, talk and get married. I am crazy, what are you saying? She is:
Well, you will go out right, they will come to me to ask for your hand.
Well, and what?
I will pull them out!
- Mom, I am 30 soon, you have to throw on the neck, that finally someone takes me away!
But where do I get the bubble? Good people are born!

A bag of cat mint:

Rostislav: Did you show the cat this bag? If the cat doesn’t react, you could cut it down and see what’s inside. So far, no review.
Viper: o_O Why are such crucial decisions =))
Rostislav: What is this cardinal?
BoPoH: sorry for the cat because of such nonsense to cut ))
Ezheg: scratch the seam, then seam, a couple of dozen pads manually will not bother even the child :D
Where is the cat’s show?
LuckyStarr: Cats are usually made in a seamless way and sewn back do not bring as much joy as before.

When was the last time we fought with you?
Why to you?
I want to remember the monthly cycle.

Yesterday before work I bought a film, I saw – I wanted to. I went to work and decided to have breakfast. The boss saw how I was striking the whole cloth and raised my salary.)
0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
The cool thing is that today the floor of the office with the baked bread is stuck. I think they won’t do anything.)