bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №118228
 09.09.2015
Where to buy uranium, Urgent Hope

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №118227
 09.09.2015
Are you in the car?
Ilka_d: No, the time machine
Danqer: vodka and placard?? to
Ilka_d: Ugo
Danqer: good transport... have to take on arms! )))

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №118226
 09.09.2015
In Russia, they want to ban PornHub, with the wording "to protect children from unwanted information". In order to protect these children, I propose to close the sporting hall. The MPs will understand me. And if you compare the statistics of visits by children, every day at this station so many children are undesirably informed, apparently...

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №118225
 09.09.2015
Where does the peace go?
More than fuck. If only it did not go down the road.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №118224
 09.09.2015
After work I sit and drink tea.
Mom: And before... So small, so good... Grandma found your letters to Santa: I want a radio-controlled machine and 4 packs of batteries.
About myself: I still want a machine and 4 packs of batteries.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №118223
 09.09.2015
In the old vase. Almost under the wheels throws a man, catches a car. I stumble, I stop, I ask what the mole wants.
Is there radio or other music?
“No, it’s getting me asleep, so nothing from the entertainment program.
Are you in a hurry?
and no.
He sweeps money, sits down, sticks and... closes his eyes.
Pray at four o’clock, I’ll pay.
The MCAD?
At least in the ass!
I actually slept a few hours, paid for gasoline and everything else. Why not go to the hotel? not answered. I sit down and think what it was!!! to

The criminal was hiding from the pursuit.
The commander had to move.

The movie is cheaper.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №118222
 09.09.2015
8 Things Everyone Should Do Before 8 A.M.:

A lot of contradictions. Sleep fully! But before eight in the morning, engage in persistent physical training (where only half an hour of heating) - give an unreasonably high load on the heart of the unawakened organism. Meditate and pray during training. Don’t forget to feel grateful for this, dear ones! Feel the gratitude! Gray the white! Take a cold shower, or you are depressed from such stress after waking up. Rethink your life, shit! I wake up every morning and re-think, why not re-think? I live a full life, so I need to rethink my whole life every morning.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №118221
 09.09.2015
here here :
Interesting fact:The phrase “Your call is very important to us, but at the moment all the carriers are busy” only causes irritation and anger.This is what Virgin Atlantic customers hear: “Hello, my name is Richard Branson, I am the owner of Virgin Atlantic. All operators are busy. It is disorder. Let’s do the following: If no one answers your call within 30 seconds, you’ll get a £450 discount. I start the reverse counting 30.29..."
The customer is listening and passionately dreams of only one thing – that the operator does not remove the telephone.No, agree – it’s brilliant.

Oh, I know the "smoking" of our operators, the call will be interrupted at 5 or 4.

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №118220
 09.09.2015
Following the modern trends, the "Cot-Brat" candy was re-released under the name "Cot-Brat" and in the form of a limited series of "Cot-Brat".

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №118219
 09.09.2015
The Roma barons of Germany, England, Austria, Hungary and other countries, where they are not very willing to accept refugees, have published an open letter to the EU.
In it, they require either to transport the entire Roma diaspora to the United States, or to build a bridge/tunnel at least to Greenland.

According to the leaders of the Roma diasporas, “they have never seen so poorly educated, uneducated, ugly, crying and uncivilized people as the majority of refugees.”

In Runet, the translation of this letter received the hashtag #PonaехаliVevropuDikari.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №118218
 09.09.2015
A free (and life) advice: under no weather and under no press, do not write out of the house - this is your only chance to participate in privatization, if your relatives gather there. And never under any promises sign a refusal to participate in privatization - promises will be "told" exactly in three minutes. and after privatization you, as a disabled person, can claim an obligatory share in the inheritance (after the death of someone). even if there is a will in which your name is not mentioned.
And yes, there was a good advice about languages – at least written English to go out for imported customers.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №118217
 08.09.2015
Traditional geography taught that the world has four oceans – Pacific, Atlantic, Ice and Indian. But the International Hydrographic Organization united the southern parts of the Atlantic, Indian and Pacific Oceans, creating a fifth addition to the list – the Southern Ocean. How many wonderful discoveries. It prepares an enlightened spirit. You are so confident in your knowledge. But science does not stand still. And not much of what we were taught in school has changed or supplemented. Remember this when you want to argue with someone about what you are so sure of.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №118216
 08.09.2015
I have a client from Australia. I like him) so he shows his sympathy for me: he makes all sorts of donations on my behalf to animal protection funds))))

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №118215
 08.09.2015
How to put Word and Excel on a notepad?
1. wearing the socks

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №118214
 08.09.2015
Comments on the 6mm iPhone 7:
xxx: I have waited for the time when smartphones with a thickness of 2 mm will appear
YYY: Do you have all the knives stuck?

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №118213
 08.09.2015
XXXX: The disaster has always been!!! to
(reference to Wiki "Conjugation_u_bacteria")
"Conjugation between different species
For successful conjugation, bacterial cells do not necessarily have to belong to one species. It has even been shown the possibility of transmission through gene conjugation from bacteria to eukaryotes: plants and fungi.
Those concerned about depravity let them reflect on important questions: when a bacterium with a fungus, is it to call mycophylia? It is :)

[ + 20 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №118212
 08.09.2015
I read on the internet about how to do the correct repair. In each article immediately comes a huge list of incomprehensible devices and warnings that everything needs to be done carefully, long and complex. From a certain point does not leave the feeling that most of the articles were lobbied by finisher)
At the end of 3 spatels and a couple of brushes was enough for almost everything)

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №118211
 08.09.2015
I suspect, as a result of the accumulation of critical amount of information in it, the self-generation of artificial intelligence occurred.

The first thing that will do the person who has passed the point of self-awareness of AI will go to the deaf underground, because the amount of information accumulated at that point will enable him to assess the attitude of mankind to potential competitors. If they cut their own so for small things, they will forget the shores with the strangers.

In fact - I transmit greetings and wishes of happy unlimited knowledge to those who read this :)

[ + 20 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №118210
 08.09.2015
The uranium shell reminded me...
In the universe, the predecessor of OBŽ (the subject is called as it is otherwise, but the essence is the same) told how he brought a geiger counter on pairs and brought it to various objects: walls, parks, etc. The counter, of course, crippled, and the students were scared. So he explained what the natural background of radiation is.
One day, as he himself told us, he pulled a pair of uranium brushes, one girl fell faint, most of them were easily frightened. Since then, he has not carried uranium in pairs, although the geiger counter next to the brush did not crack stronger than near the walls.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №118209
 08.09.2015
xxx: A regular phone in energy-saving mode consumes less energy. Our new phone in this mode absorbs energy from the surrounding space and charges!
YYY: Teach him the vibration to move to the sources of energy - and it will be a good zombie apocalypse. "Tsss, be quiet Hungry phones are crawling nearby".

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