bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №118128
 06.09.2015
Customs on the plane, I think, in which section to look for?

Beauty and Health
- transportation
Sport and Rest
Clothes, shoes and accessories

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №118127
 06.09.2015
Lohah does not die for children. The story that I wrote yesterday:
"Hello to you. What do you do? And I am now cooking soup from my own hand-collected mushrooms in the morning. In any case, know that I have always loved you."
Such a fatalist is Paphos. Judging by the fact that he called me Vicky, he had already tried his soup during the cooking process. And I only sent this message at night, and he sent it in the afternoon.
Is everything okay with him there? This is a cook from him.
He was normal, I knew. I was tormented at midnight in guessing who this Vic was.
- Well if I'm not mistaken, the only scream we all three know was our chemistry teacher in 11th grade) although he may have some left scream there)
I doubt it. The grandmother we don't know - it doesn't look like him.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №118126
 06.09.2015
My mom gave me a money tree and a bush called “Women’s Happiness.” I wished money and happiness for that. After a week, the money tree collapsed, and the female happiness was eaten by the cat. Probably the first of 40.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №118125
 06.09.2015
Unjustly earned, but literally divided by the law is not punished.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №118124
 06.09.2015
Yesterday, in one French-language newspaper, I saw a caricature: a scattered bed, a sad Poroshenko sitting on the front edge, a beauty dressing from behind and looking at the clock. Poroshenko looks into the area of his stomach and sadly breathes: "I have nothing to do with it. It is all Putin. The damned Putin.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №118123
 06.09.2015
I fully support the expansion of the import substitution program, and I propose, for the purposes of this program, to replace the children of Russian officials and oligarchs living in the US and EU countries with children from Russian children’s homes.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №118122
 06.09.2015
From the letter:
I recently turned 60 and I have entered, as they say, the third half of my life.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №118121
 06.09.2015
In the publishing business, the manuscripts sent to the editorial office are designated by three digits and three letters. For example, “318 BBL” or “412 AMR”... But I only learned about it later.
I was at a Moscow publishing house. I have a familiar editor. Behold, I come in, and he is running with some thick handwriting. “What,” I ask, “is a novel?” and he answers, “two hundred eighty-six asses.” I was overwhelmed. “Show me,” I say. He is showing. On the first page is clearly printed: “286 JOP”.
I thought a lot about this novel. Figures and situations. I was even jealous that it was not I who wrote it... Until this comrade explained to me the literal-digital designation of the manuscripts...

Yulius Burkin

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №118120
 06.09.2015
On the wall is a recording:
andquot; no I knew, of course, that I was strange, but at two o’clock in the night to drive the brothers out of the kitchen and to prepare a whole slice of salad with strawberries was too much even for me. = is
We have breakfast. and lunch. Probably even dinner. XD and"

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №118119
 06.09.2015
Katze North (passing some test): "Are you fat?" (facepalm)
Drekhann: Yes, I’m so swallowing when I walk that my fleas start a sea disease!

[ + 9 - ] Comment quote №118118
 06.09.2015
In the bourgeoisie, the school form is the retention of the rich, so that the students of the expensive private schools can be distinguished by clothes, in Russia they are trying to impose it supposedly in support of the poor, who live on quality clothes for the child and therefore want that ALL children should go the hell in what. The Russian logic. Moreover, the shape of this damn people cost more than normal clothes, children are unrealistic to neither isolate in the winter, nor to ease when spring becomes hot. Let everyone and always be bad - this is what we consider "equality and justice"

Seriously, we had a teacher of literature of such a steep Soviet hardening, who was afraid to kick the most, but she only asked for a white top for the exam, and not necessarily with pants - classical jeans came along.

[ + 21 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №118117
 06.09.2015
This
You are what you eat.
If you eat vegetables, you will be vegetables.
Eat a chicken, you will become a chicken. Eat pork and become a pig. Beef is a cow.

to eat people.

Where to get them if there are vegetables, pigs, bulls and chickens around?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №118116
 06.09.2015
I had a conversation with a familiar Spanish man. Word for word, we talked about cinema.
Having learned that I was watching films in Russian, he began to prove that it could not be done. You need to look only in the original, otherwise "in translation a lot is lost and, in addition, censorship".
I agreed with him and said that our censorship cuts out all Russian villains, so sometimes the hero just walks the whole film and does nothing.

[ + 24 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №118115
 06.09.2015
The one who requires a borst with a mine, most often gets a shield in which the h*j cavities.

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №118114
 05.09.2015
Only 18 countries in the world are richer than Bill Gates. It is most obvious to see how much he earned pre-renalliards.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №118113
 05.09.2015
Talk about the LED tape:
XXX: I stuck in the kitchen in the headphone, on the balcony the lighting and behind the tub - like a nightclub ))
YYY: The push has to be pushed around
YYY: Walking at night
XXX: some even crawl into the plinth on the floor, so that at night on the take-off of this in the push to get

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №118112
 05.09.2015
This is not a standard Russian series. My parents are watching me. So good girls get pregnant for a minute from men who go to others, and then repent - sometimes at the stage of the pulse, but more often when a six-year-old child can run and gently look in the eyes. Bad girls only lie that they are pregnant.
In short, there is not life, but a complete gynecology.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №118111
 05.09.2015
Why are you constantly making me stupid?
Why I do. I am already working with finished materials.

[ + 15 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №118110
 05.09.2015
In October 1998, Terrence Dixon of Bristol (Pennsylvania) decided to rob a house whose owners went on holiday. When he got inside, he gathered all the valuables and decided to go through the garage. Being in the garage, he blocked the door leading to the house, well, and the automatic garage doors could not open. A few days before the owner’s return, he lived in jail, feeding the found dry dog food and Pepsi. Having found himself in the police station, he first filed a claim in court on the robbed owners, because of their fault suffered an unmerited psychological trauma. A court has forced unwary citizens to pay Mr. Dixon $500,000 in compensation!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №118109
 05.09.2015
YYU: What did the Prime Minister say to British journalists before they arrived in Syria?
YYU: "Don’t lose your mind guys"

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