Meeting with a real Captain.
A man goes like this, with a deer.
I see a lot of brownies.
I ask unknowingly: "Dad, where did you get those?"
Answer KO: "In the woods.. there they dohuya.."

True laziness is when laundry is washed in the washing machine.

I swear that it is true...
The strange and incomprehensible humor of the staff of the organs, or rather their bosses...
Lighted my acquaintance a very bad trip, for a month, in exchange, shorter, far and long. There was no desire to go, of course. And the ments strictly, did not repel in time - they are stuck to the hell on the knives. Here was a gift to the boss. He said he invented the whole night. However, before the eyes of the king, all the reasons went somewhere, probably, the brain stroke did not withstand. And therefore, a friend found nothing better than to lament: "I can't go on a business trip, especially for such a long period. My wife for this time runs to the left, she’s crazy for me, one day without sex – fucking everything that moves.” I swallowed and I swallowed myself. The chief trembled from the soul, then scratched the pumpkin (see, the same house) and said, "Well, what to do, I will send a replacement, go to yourself." Wrecked by such a rapid success and a failed trip, a friend sparks out of the chief's office. And to drive to the acquaintance was the same night, in the morning, practically.
In the morning he is at work, straight from the threshold receives a pencil for not leaving for a business trip, after 2 minutes calls his mobile wife and whispers: "There is a lieutenant with a paper signed by your boss and says he came to replace you!!“!”
The acquaintance for a long time murdered: "Why did this phrase not seem strange to me right away?“?”

Two cows are talking:
You know, I think they feed us just to drink.
our milk, and then kill and eat.
Get rid of your conspiracy theories! The whole herd is over you.
will laugh.

Ladies and gentlemen ‎(16:12):
The trees are like women, first beautiful and then naked.

Bandit ‎(16:12):
They were small and thin, then big and rough.

The Minister of Education makes changes to the Russian dictionary.
Saakashvili attacked Ossetia.
The Queen of Great Britain is hosting a living sculpture exhibition in London.
What are you killing time at work?

To laugh, for what I bought, for what I sold: gave a guy with us. He served somewhere in the east. He told me that they had modified ziles, with descending iron rolls. Driving of wheels for riding the rails. You know that if you drop them under the wheels, you get 5 speeds back and one forward. And it was very slow) and they wanted to get to the village faster. The captain catastrophically drives the car on the rails with his ass forward, three fighters sit in the body, the combo in the cabin. and carried. According to the norms, the speed allowed in this movement is not 10 or 20 km / h. They remembered when they overcame the suburban train) Picture with oil: a heat truck with passenger wagons hurts, and a military truck passes by the branch by the ass forward, sparking scars from under the wheels)

by Avanturist.org

My friend complained today. His mom licked his belt because he came home late, as late as 2 o'clock at night (!). All would be nothing, but this friend fought in Chechnya and in Tskhinvali. That’s my mom, I’m worried ?

Igor: I am of the generation for whom the radiation icon means Duke Nukem, not a stalker!

From the forum:

Uzer1: The administration reset the patch so that it does not download.
thank you.

Administration: Aki, the Fathers of the Desert, in the bushes of the grass is the creature of God named the Carpenter. And the color and appearance and likeness is cucumbers. She eats grass and grass. And the meat of the goat has never eaten. And the wild beasts came to him with flies and shared the meal with him for the sake of fraternity.

Suddenly, as if in the night, came the stinking Frog, a great sinner, a cruel woman. And as the unmet hell will cast out its stinking mouths, and will devour the Carpenter for his secret sins. Even if the Carpenter, very worthy of pity, did not have the shame of the false at confession, and did not hide his sin for nonsense, could not have swallowed him unreasonably.
For in vain the carpenter did not remember the hour of death, but did not correctly guess with the magicians about the time of his coming, but did not think about the death of the angry without repentance, so will die unprepared.

Uzer2: if admin always responded so quickly and clearly, at least sometimes it seems that we live on different planets=)

C 16 years old madly in love with the same group.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Boy, this is what I will tell you. I was in a similar situation a long time ago. At school he was in love with the girl, cared for her, well, and all in such a fluid spirit. However, this maiden did not perceive me more than as a friend, motivating it with the most imaginable and unthinkable reasons, under which was hidden "you are simple, poor, uninteresting and not cool." She also met with everyone in a row, mostly with all kinds of "popular" boys and muddy cockroaches. This continued until graduation from school, after which we travelled across different cities.
It took a long time, I grew up, strengthened, empowered. I have a prestigious position, a stable good earnings, some position, my own apartment, a car, a house, a sunny woman who understands and loves me in everything.
There was a meeting of graduates. I met that same girl. She has a whole ass in her life, almost a woman who has fallen, her games with mud ruined her life. And as for the script, immediately in personal conversations began "you know, I became smarter and realized a lot that I need you..." blabla. In short, I sent her naked and I do not regret anything.
So guys, look at both. Idiots are not treated over time, but only properly arranged networks.

From an inf to a girl:

I talk to the wind.
I argue with lightning.
I love the mushrooms.

After the first two phrases, I had no doubts.

From a women’s forum:

I read a lot of the forum, about all these male tricks: washes the sms, starts a second cell phone, puts passwords in the computer, goes with the phone to the toilet and to the bathroom...just to hide his ugly stuff!!! to

But mine went on.
It all started with the fact that he bought me a small laptop, beautiful snow-white color, made in the apartment Wi-Fi. That’s to get you on the internet more often,” he said. I rejoiced like a fool. I sat on the internet a lot of time.

Once I wanted to get into his computer.For prevention)))
But the!!!! This shit has changed it all!! I didn’t even understand it first!! Everything was different!! to

One friend whose husband was Sisadmin told me that my fool had put Linux!! to
When I asked him, why did you do it? He replied that Linux is more comfortable for him!! In fact, he did it specifically so that I couldn’t use his computer at all!
Not much more, on the mobile phone now too everything is different, says that changed the request!! Now it’s absolutely unclear how to watch the sms and the calls made, and I’m sure he’s sneezing with his fools from work!! I can’t catch him now!! to
Help me! What to do???! to

Hello to Sasuke? Congratulations on the Day of Knowledge! Someone has a sleepy voice... get up, or you will all sleep! Half Seven, Half Seven, Half Seven, Half Seven, Half Seven, Half Seven, Half Seven, Half Seven This is me, your grandfather. and Sasha! Sasha?? to
-------------------------
Hm... I’m probably sentimental not in moderation, but for some reason I became sad and sad, that’s the generation "next".

Day of Laughter:
on advertising shields - jokes;
There are clowns in the ballots.
TV is a joke.

from a fishing forum.

and Sergius:
How often do fishermen cover up with fishing to rest with the girls?

Zolyx is:
How often do girls pretend to be Serguignas in order to find out about fishermen covering themselves with fishing in order to rest with the girls?

The guy who yesterday drove on Dmitrovka behind the wheel of a beige toyota in a mask from the movie Cry, respect you!!!))))

Kiev Radio "Power FM"
Congratulations on order. The woman congratulates the young man:
Tell Dime that he’s the best guy in the world! The Signature: The Light!and "

We are in admin.
A secretary girl comes in, she sits talking, and we joke about her. Suddenly her look falls on a blue technical coat, which is worn to stretch the cable or for some dirty work. He asks, with the desire to grasp.

Who is this jacket hanging? Who of you is wearing it?
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY When the office comes fucking, and the light is obscured by the curse of the accounting, the director terribly blows up the nostrils, when the viruses roll the network, and the people in panic run and ask for help, and then the ChiefAdmin himself wears this victorious coat and...
zzz - With a scream: "Fuck it all!" he jumps out of the window and runs away.

Yesterday, the daughter is watching on the children's channel some developing program about letters, where children need a word from the won (or found?) Write the letters.
So here. The children found the letters X, U,..., N, I (a word of five letters). And they turn them in different order to make the word. I already wanted to switch, I thought there would be a young gift...
I guessed. The word kitchen.
Am I the only one so spoiled? :)