Fuck, I started dating a smart man. Of course, I expected it to be not only enjoyable, but also informative, but to be SO much! This is when, before starting the mine, she deliberately holds my member in her hands, admired it and says to me, "And you know that in ancient India there was a cult of Lingam..." - and then the lecture lasts for half an hour... And even after doing the work, she does not get stuck, but continues her story. Sometimes I feel like I’m having sex with an encyclopedia.

Continuing the theme of the liberation of domestic elves...

What do you think, when will Vova give Dime his socks?

Travel company Leto has a fantastic website - it has complete, exhaustive information about all the tours they provide - when, where and how much it will cost.
One thing the creators of the site forgot:
Specify at least some coordinates where this wonderful company is located and how to contact them. Okay, no phone number, but at least in which city are they located?

How are these little people called?
The kids! 😉

The Wonderland. From News: Ural hunter killed himself by achieving the example of an enot

and 0m:

From an explanatory of my acquaintance – an employee of the patrol-post service:
"...the detainee, pointing his finger to the side, shouted "Oh! Santa!" what distracted my attention.
Then he fled in an unknown direction."
Man 30 years. Not a fucker? My police guard me.

Have you heard anything about the ZP?
I: I can hear it. and :)
I: "When will it be"" "When will it be""""When will it be""""When will it be"""

I was in a large network store today. The girl asked for a doll" boy". I look at prices: Ken Bridegroom, Ken Beach, Ken Fashion, Alladin 38 cm. They disappointed...

Forum on Telephone Listening:
I also know one old true way my grandfather showed me. You call 100 and after you are answered how much time you say thank you, if in response you get the line on the listening.

XXX: I am so sick now.
XXX Going to Eat
XXX: Getting the plate
XXX: I put a tea bag in her
xxx: and poured hot water
Doctor, is it treated?

Chuck Norris removed a page from VKontakte.

I took the exam in Latin today. Since I did not teach them, everything was clear from the beginning.
YYY: How did it go?
XXX: Delivered
Emm, what is it?
X: I had to write a book. So I called the devil in it twice, bought kefir and fled from the police :(

Why don’t you introduce me to your parents?
Why don’t you want me with yours?
I don’t meet them all in a row.
I too!
What do I do for you "all in a row"?! to

Opened the news.
According to preliminary forecasts, this year’s winter promises to be unpredictable.
Closed the news.

My shoulder recently pulled, tried to stick to a special cooling stick, does not hold due to the increased fluidity. No, is it not lovely? Should he ask his mother if she gave birth to him or if he was bound?

Call to Sapphire:
I don’t have Excel, I’ve been asked to report it to Microsoft, but I’ve decided to let you know.

Correspondence on the fighting forum:

xxx: Soon there will be a settlement with one guy, he has been engaged in judo for 7 years, I myself am Muay Thai 3 years + 3 months combat sambo. What to advise? What tactics to choose?

Yyy: Take off all your clothes and for screaming in the whole voice I will kill the fox!!!!! If you do not help your fist in the shit, cheat and go forward even if once you hit him on the lips with your fist, he will no longer be an authority.

ZZZ: Oh yeah! The best thing is to get rid of everything, from feet to ears, then he will definitely not fight you, and you in turn try to hit him as much as possible (strike, embrace! spit in it, first drawing in the mouth a lot of shit)

SMS with my girlfriend:

Buy me a dress on the way to work. Color, style, everything to your taste. And the size. Let’s see how you see me.)
I: Honestly, I would like to be able to choose a girl's clothes, but, on the go, it has to be gay.)))
Nietzsche, you will learn.
I am :? 0 - O

If you really want to find the culprits, then pay attention to those who are most actively engaged in their search.

Recently there was a story about a boy who stole soldiers in a kindergarten, for which he was educated correctly. But when education does not help, destiny intervenes.

I had a classmate who loved stealing from first class. Everything, always and everybody. What is beautiful and pleasant, it steals. But he turned everything so beautifully that it was impossible to catch him "on the hot".
So when he was beaten, he was not beaten hard, and he continued.

In high school, he no longer stole from his classmates (see the beat helped), but stole elsewhere. And with laughter and joy he told us about his successes. For some reason, he special popularity with bulbs, he twisted them everywhere (once even in the police department twisted when he was dragged there for something).

Eventually he stopped in the elevator. In the elevators, he twisted the bulbs, pulled out the buttons, ripped off the corners by which the side panels are attached, as well as these side panels themselves. The question “why?” He replied, “I don’t know, it’s funny.”

I have not seen him for a long time. I only heard sometimes that he liked elevators as he did before, and then forgot about him.

But almost 10 years after we graduated from school, we met by chance.
I asked him, of interest, where he worked.
in the elevator.
Oh yeah? And who?
The repair...
A. What are you doing?
I fix the elevators. You can’t imagine how many pirates you have.
The lights that lifts break, buttons burn.