bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №102559
 05.09.2014
Free medicine starts with paid bills.
And paid medicine - from free bachelors. The paradox...

C is not mine!

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №102558
 05.09.2014
This is a Viking rabbit wounded in countless battles and wounded as a result of received wounds.

Let us announce a contest for the best comic for this quote!

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №102557
 05.09.2014
In Europe, especially in its well-known cleanliness and inadequate decency on the street - Germany (Austria, Switzerland) there are no toilets.

We were in Germany in 2012, when I was pregnant. The toilet was very relevant. Looking for them for a long time did not have to anywhere, absolutely nowhere! In addition, I was stunned by the presence of tables for diapers everywhere. You enter the blue cabin (as we put on the squares during the walk), and there the table is rolled down.
Everywhere clean and washed.
We were in Frankfurt and the surrounding area.
Tell me not to talk...

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №102556
 05.09.2014
Report of the security guard, chief of the SB:
Yesterday from 24:00 to 06:00 an unknown person or persons penetrated the protected territory and abducted a guard dog named "Black".
The funny thing is that the dog was white!

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №102555
 05.09.2014
XXX: I am not singing
XXX: I have no voice.
This is called rap.

[ + 22 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №102554
 05.09.2014
Vampires are not reflected in the mirror. Do the supermarket doors respond to them?

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №102553
 05.09.2014
here here :
Suka, I hate my specialty... I try to become a financier - ALL personnel for some reason believe that I also have to perform the functions of the boss. In reality, the conversation usually goes like this:
"It’s not hard for you to do deep water welding, right? And do you have experience working in space with polymer materials?"
" What is it? Do you know how to make Pentium-7 from 2 nails and a piece of shit? You don’t want me"
The fucks...

__________
That is normal. Especially for small offices. The driver will want more Boeing piloting skills, and he admin skills from an electrician to a sanitary engineer.

[ + 22 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №102552
 05.09.2014
>>> You can also drink water from the oak.
But I do not want.

Bear Grills looks at you like an idiot.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №102551
 05.09.2014
I have always been annoyed by people who are always dissatisfied with the weather on the street, no matter what the weather is. And here, finally forcing myself to read classical literature, I found the most remarkable description:
"Listen to us, so the weather is always bad. She is the government: always and for everything it is the fault. In summer we say that we have nothing to breathe because of the heat, in winter that the cold is just deadly; in spring and autumn we condemn the weather because it is neither cold nor hot to us, and we dream that it will solve this issue in one way or another. If the sun shines, we say that in the village everything dies without rain; if it rains, we pray for good weather. If the snow has not fallen in December, we repugnantly ask where our glorious old winters have gone, and we argue as if we have been deceived by what has long been bought and paid for; and when the snow comes, we use expressions unworthy of a Christian. We will be dissatisfied until each of us makes our own weather and uses it personally. If we can’t do that, we’d rather do it without any weather.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №102550
 05.09.2014
See also SPAM:
31 Aug: $20,000 Make money now!
1 cent: $15000 Work in a new direction!
2 cents: $10,000 Do a real business!
I feel like I’m getting less and less valued for spammers every day :(

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №102549
 05.09.2014
To dispel all myths about women/girl programmers:
There are currently two female programmers in my team. They are exclusively engaged in front-end development. Both have Math-Mechov education. They deal with tasks equally with the guys.

At the same time, the interviews dismissed not one dozen guys with ambitions that do not correspond to their level.

With respect, teamlead teams of 10 developers.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №102548
 05.09.2014
The aircraft.

Wouldn’t it be more logical to sell a ticket for the total weight of the passenger and the luggage?

I have a 100 kg ticket.
zzz: At 100 finished, there are two at 50. Will you take or walk off the resource?

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №102547
 05.09.2014
Samara at 00:30 p.m.
Not the most prosperous area of the city.
A 24-hour store with a small line.
A clear boy asks the seller why she won’t sell him beer. There is a verbal mess in elevated tones between the clear and the seller, the turn is waiting. The voice of another clean boy from the row: "You hear, harre water pour, people wait." The first clean switched from the seller to the second cleaner. Next follows the untranslated play of words in the local dialect, the first takes the combat stand, after which there is a quiet remark of the second: What did you start here? There is no supreme pleasure for you here!" A line of rhetoric, the first person's face is pulled out, a second pause, he gives out: "sorry" and retires.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №102546
 05.09.2014
Athari: If you are a developer, your task is to overcome difficulties.

macik_spb: I immediately imagined the emblem (or emblem) of some developer organization – above a sign with a crossed bush, below a bicycle, all this in a thorn crown and framed with the slogan “to overcome difficulties.”

Alex_MIPT: And all this is on the backdrop of crossed bones.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №102545
 05.09.2014
The wife is straight like America, almost something didn’t like, immediately sanctioned and closed access to its resources.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №102544
 05.09.2014
Choose an orthopedic pillow for your child. It is written: "Orthopedic pillow "with memory effect". Asks the pharmacist: "A lot better such a pillow?", - what is the answer: "Those who sleep on it, memory becomes better".- "In the sense???" - Well the memory of children is improving". No scene...

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №102543
 05.09.2014
The Prehistory:
She is sick and has a blood transfusion. He writes today:
[ The Girl ]
I am standing in the store in ripped designer jeans and in the same jacket, my grandmother approaches me, points to my hands and says I will give you a phone, there you will be helped. The PSC!!! to

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №102542
 05.09.2014
Zoo, we remember you! Return the comments!

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №102541
 05.09.2014
xxx: when he writes in a resume that he is intimately familiar with some technology - it's interesting)
xxx: I understand it "good sign", but how unusual to see it)
YYY: That means he was fucking fucked with it.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №102540
 05.09.2014
I have a root – a tattoo master. A very drunk client came to him. Well, he started asking him for a tattoo on his finger with the inscription: "Walla, I love you!" motivating it by the fact that the only true way for him to apologize to his wife. And by the way, the tattoo master against this type of tattoos to madness) But that day the tattoo master was tired and he was just lazy to speak this person, and the direct messages he did not understand. To get rid of it, I made this tattoo. The tattoo was made, as the customer repeated repeatedly: "Walla, I love you!".
As it was later discovered, the client’s wife was named Light.

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