bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №35827
 10.09.2010
and Tarrasque:
Red, where is the Muzelmacher?
The Red Tank:
The Shaposhnikovs? The elements are summoned.
and Tarrasque:
And more understandable?
The Red Tank:
He is negotiating with representatives of the housing services on the subject of the pre-release inspection of the GVS and heating systems before the start of the heating season, sir!
and Tarrasque:
And a shorter?
The Red Tank:
The elements are summoned.

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №35826
 10.09.2010
Google Corporation has that it will pay higher wages to gay employees than to employees with a traditional orientation... How many of Google’s 20,600 employees will be affected by the innovation, it is not yet known, but the gay community within the company, which calls itself Gayglers, has about 700 members. Note that Google is considered the undisputed leader in the IT market by the number of gays and lesbians in its state.

You heard Johnny gets more of you now!
This is PI!! to

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №35825
 10.09.2010
At work there is a correspondence on the ass, the guy writes his girlfriend:
You’ll be released soon, I’ve already missed you.
I’m going to eat today, so early 😉
An e-mail from the start-up:
"I will eat you. no"

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №35824
 10.09.2010
To determine whether a virgin is a girl or not, different peoples came up with a lot of ingenious and diverse tests. For example, peoples living on the shores of the Caspian Sea placed a naked bride in front of a beekeeper and watched her behavior. If the girl was quietly standing, looking in the face of a dangerous insect, and they did not bite her, then the virgin, and if the bride turned to flee - then the integrity is lost. Others placed the bride on a barrel over a vessel of wine and tried to smell the wine vapors from the mouth of the subject. If she was not a virgin, it smelled wine from her mouth.

[ + 83 - ] Comment quote №35823
 10.09.2010
1 - and today I went to work an hour earlier... confused the time of demand

2 How is it?

It is dark in the morning, the blinds are closed.
We have a church 100 meters away.
And from 7 in the morning it starts to ring every 15 minutes.
3 strokes - 7:45, 8:45 and so on.
I usually get up at 8:45 at the alarm clock.
And today I woke up, it broke 3 times, I thought I didn't hear the alarm and went to the bathroom, didn't look at the clock.
Then I dressed up, and then I realized that it was early.
Not clothes anymore. and popper on the bus.

2 is instructive:
The 21st century – the programmer lives on the church bell... ;)

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №35822
 10.09.2010
Graier (10:20:21 9/09/2010)
Guess why I write to you.

Technical support (10:21:19 9/09/2010)
Send a kiss?

Graier (10:22:31 9/09/2010)
I did not guess. You have two more attempts.

Technical support (10:26:10 9/09/2010)
Invite for a walk?

Graier (10:26:24 9/09/2010)
Another attempt...

Technical support (10:27:16 9/09/2010)
"What kind of stuff does the filter not work?"

[ + 75 - ] Comment quote №35821
 10.09.2010
I put on the headphones today. All normal people would burn up. And I was like a real crush =(

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №35820
 10.09.2010
The man said, the man knocked on the table, the man from the window catches things.

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №35819
 10.09.2010
My son went to 1st class. In a few days he asks:
11 years at school is like a prison.

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №35818
 10.09.2010
XXX: Message from a friend, invites to the Tusa

The attention!

On Thursday, 9 September at about 19-00 will be held a meeting of the experts of the club "A? What? Where am I?”
Have a wooden skate (GOST No. 93857/33), a drum, as well as a working version of the autopilot, preferably with the latest update of the route.

The meeting will take place at Moscow, ul. Butyrskaya, D. XX (Dmitrovskaya) in the beer restaurant XX (MORE than 80 types of beer! Two floors, cozy atmosphere, polite offices... then you hear some whisper, then a chill of death). The program includes burning on the fire of a witch passing by (probably witches), dances of the northern peoples, a competition "Come on the curve", and a sports cast of beer covers.

All members of the club!

Further Spam
Increase it! Up to 10 centimeters of your...

Q: Is it adequate for you?
YYYYYYYYYYYYYY! Do you meet?

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №35817
 10.09.2010
Big cities harass small people.

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №35816
 10.09.2010
The Master.
It was a long time ago, thirty years ago in Leningrad. The master of theatre course, the folk artist of the USSR, I will not name his name - he, unfortunately, is already dead. His kingdom is heavenly.
After another big role in the movie, our master finally bought the long-awaited Volga car, and being a man of a wide soul, invited his whole course to a expensive restaurant to wash the purchase. There were numerous toasts for the teacher, for the accidentless ride, etc.
But the Shalopai students decided to play their favorite teacher: they distracted him with conversations, pulled the keys from the Volga pocket, one ran out to the street and moved the car to the courtyard next to the restaurant. The master drank a little - still driving, happiness and so he was drunk. He was fun and conversational. He even went to call, ask his wife for a longer time, but it didn't work out - he was going home. The boys said, "You sit, sit, the business is young, they will bring a dessert, and I went. Don’t worry, I paid for it all.
- We can take you to the car, please, we can give you a pen.
We smell...
Look at me, sit down and dance.
Well please please please please!
Okay, let us go.
Everyone got out of the restaurant and came to an empty place on the sidewalk.
The teacher became hysterical: “Where?” They stole! They stole! The new car!
I’m suffocating... Heart, oh... It hurts. How is it?
The students, seeing that they exaggerated, immediately cried out: - Don't worry. It is us. A stupid joke. Forgive us...
Where is my car!!? to
Here in the yard, don’t worry, let’s go.
The teacher, suffocating, ran into the yard.
There was no courtyard in the Volga.
Where is the car!!? to
He must have been there...he was actually robbed.
The old master fell to the wall and began to slip to the ground.
I don’t care what your joke is, I’m dying guys... I don’t hold on to it.
Goodbye to you... Goodbye...
Do not die!
We killed him!
How can we live in the world now!!? to
Suddenly, the master of the course stands up, tears off his coat, everyone has a bad scene.
Well, I’ll tell you, guys, for the third class, a little weak. when
You distracted me in the restaurant by talking to get the key out.
Jacket and rating 2. I did not immediately believe. Remember your inner.
state when you voiced a ridiculous but acting very complicated text:
Do not die!
We killed him!
How can we live in the world now!!? to
There are no complaints, I believed, because you didn’t play anything. In the future, such a note will be useful to you all. And why did you open your mouths, and which whore did not put the car on the handle?
This is I...
Okay, take me along.
The teacher walked into the neighboring courtyard, and the students sat behind him. He sat in the car and started the engine. Looking out the window, he smiled:
Did you want to play the Soviet People's Artist? The children.
The car dimmed, under the joyful screams and whispers of beloved students.
The Master.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №35815
 10.09.2010
In the psychiatric hospital, patients watch the news in the morning. One suddenly knocks himself on his knee:
I am glad I am in a psychic!
Behind each other’s backs:
This one seems to have healed.

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №35814
 10.09.2010
I went to school on a bus.
The woman had doubts about the route and asked for help from the conductor:
Where will the next stop be?
A moment of silent reflection and confident answer:
to go on!

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №35813
 10.09.2010
The boy
Whisper to Fuck!

The girl
O_O

The boy
Ups, I was wrong with the window. Excuse me! The truth is wrong!! to

The girl
And I think Nifga, you suggested me to give you a meal.)

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №35812
 10.09.2010
Thumbnail: @}->-- @}->-- @}->--
High: @}->--->-->>--
Tagged with: zloy repeat
High: *ZLOY * repeat
The cabbage :-(
It is :-(
I will buy you a nork coat.

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №35811
 10.09.2010
She was 12 minutes late to work, as she was driving in the director’s car in the morning, and he had to go home to change his clothes. So I was late. I promise to fix the situation and not be late anymore"

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №35810
 10.09.2010
Reviews on motivation in British American Tobacco Russia:

Today I heard a story about motivation in Russian. I am proud.
In the headquarters of the company BAT decided to hold an attraction of unprecedented tolerance. We set up a gay festival with representatives from all the offices.
In the Russian office came a mess — to send 3 gay. The management thought deeply.
They held a meeting and began to think. They invented.
The ruling came out: the heads of units that have achieved the lowest results in the quarter go to the gay parade.
Such production, sales, marketing, advertising, supply the company has never seen - the productivity has increased by 100% and above!
And management achieved its results - and profits were obtained, and pidorasses were chosen.
And you say – prizes, training, career growth, company anthems... Fignia is it all!and "

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №35809
 10.09.2010
thx (15:25:18 9/09/2010)
I found an article about how to do mines and what ways there are... how to do mines... wanted to throw Yulke in the assu and threw his director maniki... how to grit in the wrong window... stucco
yyy (15:25:35 9/09/2010)
xxx (15:26:22 9/09/2010)
He writes to me in a...Amin... enter the room.
thx (15:26:28 9/09/2010)
I think it’s all... shit.
yyy (15:26:35 9/09/2010)
xxx (15:26:50 9/09/2010)
He turns my note and asks me what this shit is???? to
xxx(15:27:00 9/09/2010)
I am red and silent.
xxx (15:27:19 9/09/2010)
The bird breathed out: Yes, I gave my girlfriend the usage guide.
yyy (15:27:21 9/09/2010)
XD XD XD
xxx (15:27:35 9/09/2010)
He grit well... I have to give up his wife too... let her read.

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №35808
 10.09.2010
You will hunt for four breasts, you will catch the puzzles from two babes.

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