bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №75054
 29.12.2012
Record on the wall of the official group Beeline in VK:
Hi all of you! My name is IRA, I am 9 years old. I have to play the role of a bee in the school for the new year!! Dear Billy! Please help me with the costume!! to

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №75053
 29.12.2012
Yesterday with friends at work discussed the movies, and I decided that I need to sit down and watch the movie "Remember all" is the year. Well, as usual, I make a note in the calendar on my phone for tomorrow. The evening was corporate. Today in the afternoon I wake up from a reminder where it is written "Remember Everything". For a couple of hours I was even afraid to call my colleagues to ask what happened yesterday? and :)

[ + 15 - ] Comment quote №75052
 29.12.2012
One is fucking!
Do you know that mates are damaging to your DNA and that will have a bad impact on your children?
And that’s what a man with two higher educations says.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №75051
 29.12.2012
Working for Mr. Companies engaged in trade. There are 20 careers, one of which is Royal (Royal Career Management), the director is a man named King. And his chief engineer is Pop.)

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №75050
 29.12.2012
(29.12.2012): Long live the age of high-tech with people living in it hoping for an alarm, with the function of repeating the days of the week, in their phones!
Today he slept to work and was awakened by a sleeping wife. For the first time I got to work without traffic jams, as the others, apparently, have not yet awakened.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №75049
 29.12.2012
One day, the cat told us to go with our meat.
She sat on the olives.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №75048
 29.12.2012
On the way from work, she recalled that she promised her superiors to go to a small shopping center near her home to find out how to order electricity from them by catalogs. I go in - no one on the first floor, no sellers, no guard... Well, they are also people, little or nothing... I go up to the second floor and spend half an hour there. I am back, no one again. I’ll read the catalogue for 15 minutes. Suddenly the phone ringed, one of the saleswomen appeared and began to complain to the housewife on the phone that the people are not going, sales, despite the near holiday, almost no... Finally, a girl is flying out, followed by a guard, a tall, clumsy grandfather of eighty years. I ask where the seller from the department I need is. The lady replied, she left for 10 minutes. Surprisingly, she hasn’t been there for almost an hour. And then almost a living guard spoke: "You are waiting here all day, they are waiting, and you are only now. Five minutes and..." The hours were 19.40 - they work until 20.00. In general, spit and went home.
Interestingly, do the owners of this point of sale know which lazy darmoods they feed? This is how to work, so that even before the New Year not to be in profit.

[ + 13 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №75047
 29.12.2012
I work in a gun store and all kinds of things for hunting. Today came two boys, stupidly chic, and bought a binoculars.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №75046
 29.12.2012
The Russian Post is nervously smoking aside compared to UkrPost. Today I received a letter with photographs that I received from Germany ten years ago. This is a real gift! Thanks for the mail!

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №75045
 29.12.2012

I knew I needed to put something on him when he started to bluff... So I brought him a shit!

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №75044
 29.12.2012
I got the courage and decided to ask if you all fit in our intimate life. Just understand, I have this for the first time...
Wow: Sorry, I’m a little busy... Freelancer and all that.
HHH : Okay I understand :)
ууу: sunshine, question of a million:) I need the words of the singing of the song of Leningrad "x x"
Could you write them to me?and :)
thx: "squeeze P3du"
How ugly... I don’t like Leningrad at all.
2 minutes later
HH: I would say yes.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №75043
 29.12.2012

Sophia
All I do and I teach.
00:47:13

Sergey
What is it? 😉
by 00:50:02

Sophia
History of Arts
by 00:50:09

Sergey
Oh well! I mean I should have understood? 😉
by 00:53:52

Sophia
What is incomprehensible!? to
by 00:55:25

Sergey
The FT! Reveal it 😉
by 00:56:33

Sophia
Physics of a solid body?
by 00:56:55

Sergey
Fuck it!! to

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №75042
 29.12.2012
> and on the one who came to chew on the uncle cried "baby!" and heated with a scarf. I didn’t even do > anything. Do you think men are the best teachers?

And is it bad that your husband taught your child to respond correctly to strangers who stick to her? I’m watching the news of kidnapping children, and I’m surprised at your outrage.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №75041
 29.12.2012
I bought a coin for 10 rubles with my wife. and 2500 rubles. Coins) in honor of the anniversary, for the new year ordered a gift in the amount of 2420 rubles., went to receive in "Post R...".
Is it possible to pay with coins?
No, before the new year we have to get rid of all the little things.
I went to "Sber", exchanged and came.
I filled in everything, gave the receipt, extended 2500 rubles, to buy the package.
I can't give you the package, I don't have any small things in the box to give.
by Rais.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №75040
 29.12.2012
My (D)daughter is an educational psychologist, works as a waitress, corresponding to VC:

D: I was given 100 UAH for being a good psychologist.

I: I said that your five years of schooling were not for nothing! :DDD

[ + 32 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №75039
 29.12.2012
PS, I was so pleased =)
The Damn Engineer)
In the shower, 2 of the 6 cabins have the cranes removed, so the water can not be turned on. I stand, I mean, in a row, we are a man 6-7, a man comes in, looks at everyone and dumb passes by, clothes up, goes to the shower in a broken cabin, gets flat tubes, opens the crane and washes calmly=))
The crowd is in shock, but it's okay, in 10 minutes while I stood there in a row, two others also passed.
There will soon be a separate row with flatboards in the broken cabins XD

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №75038
 29.12.2012
Just on the corporate - what is the name of the girl Dartanyana?
Drunk screaming from the room!! to

[ + 12 - ] Comment quote №75037
 29.12.2012
From Habr:

Given that the radius of the Earth is more than 6000 km, and humanity has not yet penetrated even further 12 km, your worry is unfounded. It’s like fearing that a colony of intestinal bacteria, covering a thin layer of a stone ball with a diameter of about 12 meters, inside which there is a iron ball with a diameter of about 7 meters, heated to 5000 degrees, will be able to do something wrong with it.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №75036
 29.12.2012
In connection with the opening of new metro stations, the subway will be closed

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №75035
 29.12.2012
From the Film Forum:

Zombies look unconvincing...like a treasure.
Not like in life, right?

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