Here is this:
In the face of the whole people I appeal: My ten-kilogram cat Vaska at night, as he sleeps next to me, always squeezes my legs in my mouth. Please tell me what to do?

And it wasn’t necessary to express my surprise at fishing with the words: “In my mouth my legs!”)))

ALEM: How is it? A beautiful dress decides.
drberd is true. He knocked his grandmother on a mine... no one wanted it. I asked "to kiss" - and voila! In the logic of them... only to cover up the meaning, because it is the same thing.)

He was at the dentist, after the seal was sent to X-rays.
Something went wrong and the aunt decided to restart the car with HR on board.
I leaned, pulled my hand under the table toward the system and gave a click.
The computer is not good to turn off the button.
She replied: I’m not with the button, I’m on the pilot!

Is it possible to live in the dormitory in the summer?
YYY: Of course...it’s not a Hogwarts.
xxx : t_t

One day I came to school with a portfolio full of unfinished homework.

In the summer...

Dressed only in shorts and a shirt.

I was saved from a nervous breakdown by the alarm clock to work, the winter outside the window and the realization that school was over 11 years ago.

xxx: bgg
yyyy :))
xxxx: put that shit in your ass.
YYYYYYYYY
XXX is better.
YYY: A harsh Chelyabinsk smile.

From Yandex News:
In St. Petersburg, 60% of tram cars require replacement – Poltavchenko
I read and think, how do these tram wagons need to replace Poltavchenko?))

How unnecessary you are at work the boss notices only in the vacation period (((

Unlawfulness is always protected by law.

Morning in a small town. The small parking near the court is almost entirely packed with expensive cars. In the gap between the jeeps merino and lexus is carried by a man on the scattered rust "Volga". Parking carefully but confidently. From the lexus in the window begins to whisper a long-haired chmo, uncertain sex, but understandable nationality: Wherever you lie, here you see what machines are standing! Cut it – I cut it!
The man quietly puts the car, goes out and says:
In fact, I am an oncologist and I don’t really know which car comes to me.
The important thing is to go with your own feet.
P.S. The doctor’s name is good. and real.

“Mommy, and if a worm is cut off, will his half be friends?
Not with you.

Q: Since I bought a car, I stopped wearing heels (the pedal is uncomfortable to push), started to dress badly and look badly (no one will see in the car anyway) and weighed 8 kg because I became less walking :( what to do?

Answer: Drinking beer before the TV under football / hockey, obviously

Someone's Qeen
I play in oblivion / there the task - in the guild of thieves - to steal the asshole of the Achimaga. Since yesterday evening, I have completed the passage of the Guild of Magi.
She stole herself... a little bit.

Chichaphat
It would be even more funny if you were given the task in the Guild of Killers to kill the Archimedes... In the Chronicles of Tamriel, the Archimedes committed suicide and received the title of leader of the Guild of Killers posthumously.)

<MIC> it is not a sinking taxi, bought a car and only gasoline in it pour, wasiku need a high garage under a gazelle with a hole
<MIC> tools immediately for half a million buy, Bulgarian especially
<Sergey Banny> Bulgarian in the sense of a woman
<Sergy Bathing> in the garage to keep
<MIC> the hole is for that.

After a trip to Europe, you begin to realize what horror civilized Europeans are experiencing when they look at the Moscow metro on the board with the time before the next train, the number of which is always only growing.

Comments to the news "NASA has funded the creation of a food 3D printer":

by Andrew:
Can you prepare dinner for me?
Go and print yourself!
by alterego:
Such statements turn the idea of a 3D printer printing a more conspicuous wife!)))

Remote user: which admin password on the machine
In the new? Why to you?
Removed user: Mnet to do
Removed user: and *
The remote user: inet

Ksyusha: What do you keep my photos?! to
[10:51:23] Ksyusha: I hope you won’t cook a collage for my wedding?
Anna is not alive.
Ksyusha: thank you
Ksyusha: Maybe from the photos you have you can break my life.

Ninja may also go to paintball.
YYY: Will he be with the nunchaks or will the machine be given?
XHH: He says he doesn’t know the machine.
YYY: That is what I was afraid of.

I am in a service car. The road is ground, but good and empty. I noticed that the driver is driving on the opposite lane, on my question why, replied - Here the road is better. Okay well. We go back. Ride again at the meeting. To my question what is wrong again, I hear the answer - Here the road is better.