The refrigerator is empty. I think like something to eat with minimal labor expenses. If you go to the store, you will have to dress up, go down and then cook. Going to dinner with your parents is to the other end of the city. order pizza at home - you still have to go down to remove money from the card. I will have to sit on a diet. I am a girl.

Are you interested in Lego and helicopters? Wait)))Do you think of a banal pyramid or cube in which you need to promote the figures so immediately and give it to your child and you will never play)))

I gave my mom last year at work at DR a wonderful fig tree... the size of our cat. They put this miracle of nature to my room, but the cat decided that there should be no plants in my room (and I am completely in solidarity with her in this regard!Therefore, the roasted mouth eaten the bush for a month before the root. Mom a year heated the hope that something else will grow there. The cat, in turn, does not forget a couple of times a month to squeeze the teeth on the remaining dry stool, so that no green shoots have any chance to revive life.
I'm thinking, maybe this year my mom (or more accurately, the cat) will give another ficus? I am amused by this buttle, and I have to pasture somewhere furry cattle... in the bushes of apartment vases, for example!

Ray: My father told me. At night, he bombed the city, two drunk men near the restaurant stopped him.
“Listen,” they say, “will you not bring our friend? Literally two houses, he is drunk simply, will not get himself...300 rubles will give.
The father was surprised, he said, you two heads healthy, do not pull away - two houses are all.
It turns out, this monster came to be drunk on the rolls) quarreled and lost the ability to move deadly. Although, in my opinion, it is even easier - shake his arms on his shoulders and shake it, much better) I would in the place of my father and advised to do so, and would watch the process)

by Alexei:
I open the box with the shoes, get them and start looking for instructions with the disk.

by Lenok:
very cool =)

by Alexei:
They are not!

Wear no drivers.

The husband decided to give a dog, which he himself brought to the house, motivated by the fact that it is expensive in maintenance and takes a lot of effort. I was in shock and tears. Will the betrayal of the dog be considered a full reason for divorce?

SHE: Now a guy was jumping under the window, depicting as if he was on a hammer or a horse and singing: "Iiiii Haaaa, Iii Haaaa"
by philanthropist..............

See also: xD
These are foreign princes, don’t pay attention.

XXX: The question remains, and what is the man still dissatisfied with, since he is so irritated by all kinds of lazy people, fools and alcoholics.

yyy: The standard complex of the believer. Man believed that his way of life was the only right, but this idea was foreign to his consciousness (introduced or trained).
Such a person is subconsciously afraid to realize that his belief is wrong (well you understand - not unfounded).
This leads to the express desire to pity others or laugh at them (who is so bad). Acts of ridicule or pity (preferably public), coupled with attempts to self-exalt, will protect the psyche of the patient from the fear that he will be considered wrong. Even if no one supports him, they’re all just jealous.
And even if such a person is on the right track (family and career are not such a bad benchmark), he still remains a vertebrate, valuation-dependent void with a puberty level of self-awareness.

Pleased to comment on the release of the new Kalina-2 in Yapa:
Wow, the beauty is what – “Phoenix”, “Columbian green”, “Port Wine”, “Ice” and “Iceberg”, “Diplomat”, “Venus”, “Magma”... And the quality as always – “brown guano”?

I recently visited a friend in the hospital. It is in neurology. A couple of days ago, a very busy grandfather was placed in his room. The case was so...
A doctor comes and asks his grandfather:
Do you have frequent attacks?
What are the attacks, Comrade Colonel?

Why do you call customer wishes strange? Why are these half-measures, we should immediately call them dumbobic!

I wonder if you are bitten by a vampire, will the place of the bite itch?

You know, there is a law of student compression: I can sleep on the same bed at the same time or 5 normal people, or 11 students.

Spirit - Spirit
I am in shock, we have found several dozen habitable exoplanets in space, and we can not even fly to Mars. Shameful shame
Maybe in 15 or 20 years.
We can’t go to Jupiter.

Andrey
Yes, I have heard about it.

Spirit - Spirit
You and I will die on earth.

Spirit - Spirit
and no one of us four-breasted intergalactic prostitutes from Copper-26 on the beach of the fire of the Snake galaxy ((((

Previously, the debt to the Motherland was 2 years and was given in the army. Now it is monetized and endless.

Spiders are very useful members! Their web on the window bar does not allow the topolino puha to fly into my room.

And for most drinkers, this is the most important shit - NOT THINK to be a stupid cattle. To be tired for many.

M: Aloha... what are you doing?

Do you catch the frogs?

M: What was it? I am at work

I was called a prostitute I was offended I went to the boys and got drunk, vodka

M: I refused, that means...

Question: How do you know what a person thinks about you? But do it so that he doesn’t understand that you want to know your opinion about yourself.

Answer: Stand on his feet. Or drop something on him. You can boil water. Be creative!

Andarty: I’m sitting down, checking out my programming labs. I am studying Klingon.
Hertz is Nah? Startup reviewed it?
Andarty: I said, write what you want. When I was in 9th grade, fucking, I didn’t code in var’aq. Better to write on brainfuck'e. Fans are mocking.