Given the composition of the international delegation, which will arrive in Moscow for the parade on May 9, Joseph Kobzon needs to sing not "Victory Day", but "Chunga-Changa"

[14:14:34] A: And it will be overwhelmingly
[14:14:34] b: the fox
[14:14:39] b: your grammar kills
[14:14:40] b: moral

It is better to be understood once than heard a hundred times.

History of Soviet mathematicians.
One guy, having graduated from LGU mathemes, entered postgraduate school. The scholarship is 100 rubles. Slytherin or tokar at the factory named Kirov received times more.
When he was tired of his young wife’s lack of money, he abandoned his graduate school and went to the factory. The Department of Human Resources requested a document on his education. It was only possible to find a certificate of completion of eight years.
In those harsh times he was sent to "study" in the evening school. And he did not resist - one paid holiday a week will not hurt anyone. One "but" - in the evening school had to cut under the fool, which was convenient to do, sitting on the "cam". The neighbor was a forgotten palace man, who slept all the time in class.
Once a math teacher explained that the area of the circle is equal to the square of the radius multiplied by the number "pi". The former student did not listen to her. The teacher decided to check it and, crawling, asked the guy loudly, what is the area of the circle.
The one immersed in his dissertation, dispersely whispered: "Pi..." (it is not mat, but the letter of the Greek alphabet, which in mathematics indicates the ratio of the length of the arc of the semicircle to the diameter).
The class went down with a happy bite of healthy people who encountered a fool.
When the gentleman reached the echoing comments of the teacher, who sat on the impenetrable stupidity of the students, and reproaches to the Creator, who sent her to the school of working youth, the graduate student fell in anger.
Going out to the board, he painted it with double and triple integrals, depicted the boundary transition under the sign of the integral, and brilliantly proved that the area of the circle is actually equal to "pi" and not "peer square", as mistakenly written in high school textbooks.
The working class fell into anaphylaxis, crumbling under the shell of formulas and incomprehensible terms, and the shocked teacher barely whispered, turning to the vacuum rather than to the present:
Is it possible?
To her pre-mortem whisper suddenly reacted the neighbor of our hero, the very shut-down palace, quietly sleeping under the fierce knock of the brick on the board:
“A man,” he said, casting a fleeting glance at the painted class board. Limit transition under the sign of a double integral in the third row from the top to the left of the board is prohibited. He separates...

The husband returns home in the morning, opens the door and gets a rock between his eyes. When he recovered, a crying woman said:
Vassula I am sorry. I forgot you were in the night shift.

Tested on the work of Siri - tried to set the route, Siri failed. Then I started testing Google. As a result, we came to the conclusion that the team works best "okay, husband" - all our women successfully use this navigation program, it is enough to call the husband's phone and tell - where and where to go)

I was looking for a smiley crab here, but I never found the right one. Hold - (V)_O O (V)

Ancient thing, by the way.

Did you play paintball?
yyy: No, it reminds me of plastic knives in the xD table.

A: I like to go to concerts.
Z: I was in the cinema.
Z: A long time ago
A: I go to the cinema every Sunday.
Your partner interrupted the chat.

xxx: I wanted to ask the opinions of PROGRAMMERS, how do you feel about this kind of expression?
xxx: char *p_addres_to, *p_data;
xxx: *((u16*)&(((S_proces_object_modbus*)p_addres_to)->date[0]))=*(u16*)(p_data+k1);
xxx: How well do you understand it and do you use such designs?? to
yyy: It is considered normal practice to beat for such lines on the hands.

The Sunshine:
Moving to remote work / freelance at home - was glad that now you don't have to drive anywhere and push in public transport in the morning. You can sleep a few more hours.
A year later, I get up early, so that I could go by public transport anywhere, just not to sit home again.
_____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

That is, the grandmothers with chariots who are not sitting at home in the morning at the peak hour are still former freelancers?

You don’t understand, that’s the point. Competitors at the expense of state pressure are kicked out, and Mikhalkov’s common dish will be of such, khm, Mikhalkov’s quality that everyone will immediately start to eat exclusively at home, because even the most frightening grandmother, baking cakes with pieces of onions on butter oil and the size of a plate - still cooking will be better than in such dishes.

XXX is red.
YYY: And what then?
Q: How can you like red?
YYY: What is it? How can I not like red? Red is the color of borst.

In fact, claims to the state in Russia are reduced to two points:
1st The state controls all-o-o!
2nd The state does not control everything!

Countess: Raise me the ages! c) A sharp spurt
Countess: Oh, my goddess, no, it’s better to go back down so that you don’t see all this shit.
IRA: :-D The coffee is drowned

A: it will be cheaper to buy airplane tickets and make teeth in countries near abroad, in Ukraine, in Odessa inserted a tooth for the equivalent of $ 100
B: There is no need to go to treat teeth today: 2 you cure - 8 you beat)))

- Let's go to McChalovsky, take two BigMich and a big Yulia?
We eat at home.

History of my acquaintance. Family - Dad, Mom, two daughters, older already, one 19, the other 14 or 15. She gives birth (known in the sense) in the past year, and again - a daughter. Husband: "Next time, who will be born, I will call Serjoja!":crazy: A week ago, I gave birth to a boy :D I was scared, probably.

Our factory does not have the right to buy the cable from anyone, because our holding includes a cable alliance, and here from these fucking ones I ordered two samples of the cable, one by one, a fucking meter, and these fools, piddars, sent, fucking two wooden drums of 50 kg each, and on each one by one METRO, fool you understand one meter on a coil that can hold more than one km of this cable! Fuck the fuckers!! to
I now need a loader to get 2 meters of cable, it's fucking comrades!

Comment on the news about the renaming of everything that has a Soviet name in Ukraine:

I propose to return Dnipropetrovsk the old, pre-Soviet name in honor of the founder, Russian Empress Catherine II - Ekaterinoslav. Or the one he wore on the border of the 18th-19th centuries - Novorossiysk.