I read here questions from the test, on knowledge of the Russian language for gastarbayters. I don’t know who made it, but it was pretty funny. Here are a couple:

Do you know what the weather is today?
A: “It seems very good.”
B: “I don’t know maybe tomorrow.”
c) “Let us read it now.”

If the room is cold, you will:
“Ask me to stop smoking.”
b) Ask to close the window.
“Please ask everyone to go out.”

How to get to Chernyshevskaya (metro station)?
Go straight
Be careful, the doors are closed.
The train does not go further.

I work as an instructor. I’m scheduled for school tomorrow, for driving.
Come at 9 a.m. tomorrow?
No, let’s go to sleep, oh, I’ll go to sleep.
Will I not sleep?
Everyone is sleeping.)

Listen, fools, there is no "background"!!!! You have struck!! There is a back plan, a front plan and just a background. The back is always behind. The oligophytees.

I was in karaoke yesterday. Well, you know, Dasha is vocal, well, and let us show all kinds of exercises to warm the ligaments. He explains in brief:
- The tip of the tongue to the soft sky, the throat relax, imagine that on the root of the tongue lies a piece of apple... Well, we are breeding corchim, she continues:
Now is OOO! Then the AAAA! and etc. Then he asks:
How are the feelings? Without changing the language, I say:
She, with an absolutely serious face:
Yes, you are doing everything right!

Discussion in the forum:
The question is, why is Russia not America?
The first comment:
Because they have Winnie Pooh singing "The time has come to visit to go, I am waiting for an old Druug..."
And in Russia, Winnie Pooh sings: "Whoever goes to visit in the morning, he does wisely.
Here are you and your mentality. Some are friends, others cheat.
The question is exhausted, thank you.

A friend told me:
I am standing at the bus station in line to buy a ticket. Suddenly, one of the women enters a verbal mess with the cashier. The following is a genius exchange of replies:
Do you know who my husband is?
You are a fool, I married you.

The article:
...the two obvious headliners of the current Russian-language stage are undoubtedly Ivan Dorn and the singer Yelka...
The commentary:
You made a number of grammatical mistakes in the names of Gregory Leps and Elena Waenga. Correct it.

He gave me such a lovely evening. In the cafe led. I took care. The chair moved, the jacket removed and all this :) I fed the ice cream :) compliments swept. Well the main compliment of course 'len do you even look like a girl'

Allers, rollers, who is there for us in the PDD? - learn to match - "bicycle:
wheeled TS driven by muscle force", respectively roller
It is equal to a bicycle, therefore, one meter to the right is our! A is
Drivers who scare everyone who you think is disturbing
on the road - keep in mind that if scared by your signal, the roller will fall under you
The wheels will set you down... So be more tolerant – you will not be too late.
----------w
One meter is yours. The Encounter Line. Like the pedestrians, I swept your soul. meet up!! For you, fools, to see the road situation. Not only: plant it will be planted, but you, how a corpse will be hotter from this? Walk and ride on three slopes along the side, and whoever catches you at night in the fog will spoil you. People like you are ruining their lives.

Comment to the article with a description of some poses in sex such as Helicopter, Hanging Gardens, Frog, etc.by :

HUBERT: Pose "Bomge" – She makes a bridge and I fall asleep under it

Shob you knew, "masculine suckubs" are called incubes. Sukhub is always a girl. I would also say "woman of male sex".

I apologize for the necropost, but:

// is
XX: Do you remember the young man we talked about in the department?

YYY: What did you do again?

xxx: the servo began to noise, and the screws started to warm up... I think the dust was stuck, it needs to be cleaned

xxx: I say to the young man: "Clear the screws" - "good"... cleaned the shit

XXX: with a three-time rewrite.
by

Imho, you just need to explain more clearly what you want. And here, when you master this skill, suddenly it turns out that the people around you are not fools, and they understand you perfectly.

You can easily and even very well live on healthy food if you eat a tight breakfast in advance.

xxx: In general, I consider the term "dirty" unpolitically correct. From this moment on, I demand to call me "alternatively enthusiastic".

xxx: in our senior tester on the circle is written BUGinya)
xxx: and she’s still wondering why she’s changed my name to Athens on Skype))

from VK:
A recipe for how a girl will like: take a guy, let him behave like a fool, let others tell him how foolish he is, let him make some foolish shit right in her eyes and... she is in love! The Profit!

Alexx1979: Received a package from Moscow, ordered a case for a smartphone. I don’t understand why they insult our mail... To Moscow 800 km, the package went 20 days. The average speed of the postman is 6 km. in an hour. The working day is 8 hours, we deduct weekends and we get that in some parts of the road he even sometimes ran away. It’s great, I express my thanks!!! to

A week after I quit smoking. A colleague at work brings a pack of cigarettes and puts me on the table with the words:

There is no strength. You’re always angry, you’re chewing and you’re chewing.

I feel so bad, I want to smoke all the time. I think I need to get rid of it, Gandalf. And to eat.

X: What are you busy with?
u: I try from Sberbank's site to throw a penny on the phone, at the same time with these SMSs, everything went away
x: I wanted to ask throw me down questions to the seminar, I do want to give in advance
X is Olya?! to
Where are you, chicken?
A: It is nearby! by Masha! by Masha! I need to leave the country urgently! IMMEDIATELY!AHUETH, I sent smoke mms with my breasts, the first open mms and fucking sensor in strike the choice of suck address fell to the choice of all!!! Fuck all of them!! The MMS went to all the addresses from the phone book and depended on cancellation. I just left 200 rubles, they ended up on my mother, but this does not please me, just like before my mother Maxim Suga Sergeevich!!! to
X: Olya, you are, Maxim Sergeevich, a practitioner at the tower?
Y : Yes!
Q: Where did you get his number?
Q: Is that all that fascinates you?
Well, as you are 13 you will go on his pair)))

If you save on the shepherds, you will lose the herd.