bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 33 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №81145
 06.05.2013
The Russian Post requested 31.1 billion rubles (about $1 billion) from the federal budget for the creation of a state e-mail for citizens to interact with officials.
I wonder what they will appeal when emails don’t arrive...

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №81144
 06.05.2013
The galaxy (the Milky Way) moves around the universe at about 5% of the speed of light. Why do I see the same walls? Where is the Doppler shift? One wall should be slightly red, and the other - slightly purple.

People who have at least received school education look at you with pity, young man.
With the help of simple visual observation, it is easy to notice that RELATED to you, the walls are not moving at this speed.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №81143
 06.05.2013
XXX is

I came to the tavern, hid in the corner and kissed in it from the oak))) then he approaches the lady behind the stand and begins to sing her diffiramby mol there-here I will put a song of blabla about you)) and right in the middle of the word about her non-earthly beauty he flies a arrow into his head))) my first thought "how I just broke the telecome..."

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №81142
 06.05.2013
And in Russia, on poor unlit roads, with a drunk hamlet on the roads and bad cars with a zero-toning, where an ambulance will not arrive until you die, no one sticks, preferring the stumbling of Gazely.

What fucking country?! to

– – – – –

Well, it should be clarified: not all are attached, but individual pedars. They rest and fuck with them. The country will be better. and :)

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №81141
 06.05.2013
I don’t eat soma. I love sea and river fish. Eat the same straw or straw for both cheeks. And I don’t eat soma because it just cares me to shame.
Wow: the shovel from the soma did not carry tin, it is necessary to put a burning rod into the tour and pour vodka of a hundred grams!
zzz: and say "Ahalay-mahalay, som smell the tin!"
No, we will not tolerate charlatanism.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №81140
 06.05.2013
Feel the difference:
A hacker is someone who is passionate about his business.
Nude is the one who is passionate about causing harm.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №81139
 06.05.2013
Tinlit: Leche said that a small sonata is a sonatine.
Tinlit: Now instead of the gentle "Catherine" he irritates me with a small boat =/

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №81138
 06.05.2013
Armed with a calculator, it can be estimated that 84.6% of those who liked this photo representative of the fair sex. I found in your album another photo of you lying in the snow and again counted the ratio, too very eloquently - 92.3% of women's likes. If you calculate the attention coefficient by comparing the average number of likes on a photo of you in a horizontal position with the average number of likes on a photo in a vertical, then you will get (HORIZONTAL (13+13)/2= AVG=13, VERTICAL (11+4+10+7+7+1+6+2+9+8+6)/11=AVG 6.45) ratio 13 to 6.45. In general, you can conclude that when you are in a horizontal position you like women twice as much as in a vertical position. Lying more often, my friend.

There are only a few uncharted moments. The fact is that on both horizontal photos you are lying in the snow and as far as I can remember in a state of alcoholic intoxication. Thus, the impact of these two factors on statistics is not possible to study, due to the retreat of horizontal photos without snow and in a sober state. So for the case, going to impress a girl, lie in the snow drunk.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №81137
 06.05.2013
What about the gift certificate?
ZZZ: Another Gift
zzz: already at the exit, the guard stops me and asks me to get everything out of the bag and show the check.I get, I show, he makes the face like a duck: here are these shadows, they are not in the check. Call the security service!! I calm him: these are old, when buying new compared colours. Then the face swells. They are my choir: sorry, no problem, come again, come on Wednesday!! to
Zzzz: I’ll reply to them: Fuck, I’ll come again

[ + 32 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №81136
 06.05.2013
I don’t like the TV channel. No matter how you look, there is a whole mess, aliens, circles on the fields, and Igor Prokopenko manages all this.

[ + 35 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №81135
 06.05.2013
When I was a child, my father said to me, ‘I gave you birth, I will kill you,’ and I sincerely believed that he had a full right to do so. Later I learned - he quoted Taras Bulbu :))

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №81134
 06.05.2013
I watched Iron Man 3, in the hall the contingent was the most diverse.
At one of the culminating moments of the film, the main character interrogates another villain about his plans... a child’s voice from the hall: “What are you waiting for, just kill him!”

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №81133
 06.05.2013
X: Say something positive
Tagged: Freddie Mercury

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №81132
 06.05.2013
AAA: The Communists
aaa: "her, comrades"
aaa: "to the future we go, comrades"
BBB: AAA: It looks strange, right? ;D
CCC: No, the cowboys, no!
ddd: "For Marx, Engels, Lenin and other nurses!"
aaa: as the will of Kavaist Lenin,

[ + 53 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №81131
 06.05.2013
From Picaboo:
XXX: This is an awkward moment when you work in those. The first phrase is “Christ has risen!” and they are waiting for an answer, and you seem to be an atheist.
YYY: Could that be a description of the problem?
ZZZ: I did nothing here... but Christ has risen to me.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №81130
 06.05.2013
I sit behind the compass, I don’t bother anyone. Suddenly there are joyful children’s screams from the street: "Marina!!! I found the porn discs!and "

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №81129
 06.05.2013
At the end of Iron Man 3, there was a fuzzy feeling that all these 40 Tony Stark costumes would be combined into a MEGASORD, the headlines would increase, and the battle would take place against the backdrop of carton skyscrapers like in the Power Rangers.
HH: But my hopes were not meant to be fulfilled (((

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №81128
 06.05.2013
An-2, which was sought for almost a year, was found 8 km from the take-off site.

We are considered not just idiots, but idiots 80 lvl. All in promotion!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №81127
 06.05.2013
I exchange property in Moscow for invisibility in London.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №81126
 06.05.2013
I read a five-point check:
"Talosto Truth Blabla Kremble"
As it turned out - this is the tube of LaFam cream-brune =)))

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna