bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №81085
 04.05.2013
We put up a bed with my wife.
It’s the clothes we slept on our first wedding night.
MDA to MDA? I don’t remember... (I’m trying to fill the cartridge). Where is the hole?? to
You see, you are asking the same questions.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №81084
 04.05.2013
From the movie Iron Man 3:
Are you home alone?
My mom was at work and my dad went for the lottery tickets. Six years ago. He won the journey.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №81083
 04.05.2013
Yesterday I was in the bus after work, I see, one man on his hand with a pen is written: "Sixth to work".

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №81082
 04.05.2013
XXX: Electronic thermometers are very inaccurate, especially if rectal temperature is measured
YYY: How did you explain to the cat that this is a medical procedure?
XXX: You put the cat on the couch, across it a folded cloth, so that on one side the head and on the other side the back legs. Then you get kneeling on the two edges of the fold on the sides of the cat so that the animal is fixed. Then you take the tail in your left hand and plant the thermometer with your right. Here somewhere at the fixation stage until the cat comes to know that the game is over. Therefore, the main task is to distract his attention for as long as possible. And the thermometer is better to hold in the sleeve, without showing.
ZZZ: Why is this? I never heard that cats were measured the temperature at home, apparently science has taken a step forward.
YYY: What does science have to do with this? Just a person has a cat, a thermometer, a pledge and diverse interests.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №81081
 04.05.2013
A good half of the participants of the role-playing game looked as if they had travelled from the 11th to the 16th century across Europe with the Middle-earth in front of them.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №81080
 04.05.2013
A friend came from America and spent the night in clubs.
xxxh: and made a very clear and comprehensive description of what is happening in today's nightclubs of my city
xxxh: "...but the feeling that no one is resting is all too busy building a superstitious dude)))))))"

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №81079
 04.05.2013
DarckWarrior: and at home this simple odin is a regular computer with a regular xp, and it seems like nothing, but this computer is included in the local domain, the controller of which, along with a freeze and torrent cache, proxy cache and gateway, as well as a mail server and another virtual machine with a "working" debian, rotates on the Xenovsky hypervisor installed on the old system, rolling under the table...

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №81078
 04.05.2013
To me here a friend from the Ecologist French sends a picture on which the sherchellaphs are written in French. It reminds me of Russia. Why is? I ask. Every time I talk to Russians and they find out where I’m from, they tell me that. From an old Soviet film. I say, we never say that in France. Then I watched the movie. We say that in France, too.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №81077
 04.05.2013
The Third Iron Man:

KLIMENT-LUYBOV
I watched the first two films - I liked it, and this one is not very, I barely got half - it looks like a comic book of some kind...)

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №81076
 04.05.2013
The file space in a woman’s computer is organized similarly to her pocket.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №81075
 04.05.2013
Even in the smile of Mona Lisa today you can see the grimas of the show business.

[ + 44 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №81074
 04.05.2013
I really liked the story of Poporini about the difficult finding of the love of Barbie doll. In our house almost happened a similar tragedy, but, so to speak, with a national colour.
The daughter had a lot of Barbie with a wealthy boyfriend, but not one Ken. In the big Dutch city where we live, Ken is not a problem to buy, but somehow the hands did not reach. Well, a child plays and plays, Ken does not ask, and okay. Until one not-beautiful evening she began to hand out one of her Barbie marry another. Remembering that her cousin is married to a woman (in the Netherlands it is common), and that in the event that the daughter goes the curved path - not to see our grandchildren as their ears - we rushed the next day to look for the Best Ken for the daughter's favorite doll through a very large shopping center. But everywhere for some reason, indeed, Ken was in the company of some questionable long-legged blondes in bikinis, and sometimes even puppies of different ages. To pay for this harem 50-60 euros without allowing everyone the famous frog, and we were looking for Ken-Holst. Finally, in a supermarket they saw a box with Ken alone, with no company, but with some small accessories. I’m running to the box office (the husband was running to the zoo at the time). I am already looking at the catch. Ken has a very cozy cloth on his neck, and a tight body on his torso (Jean-Paul Goethe likes to portray such young men in advertising), and, in general, if he wasn't a brunette, he would be terribly similar to Sergey Zverev - a haircut, a nose, a look, all with him... To accomplish the similarity in his hands, he holds a haircut and a haircut, and surrounds him with an entourage of a hair salon. I realized that I got the wrong Ken.
Our Barbie we married Shrek. Yes, not a beautiful man, not a rich man, but at least his sexual orientation is well known and the man is good.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №81073
 04.05.2013
Are you friends with your head?! to
Moreover, we are sleeping together.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №81072
 04.05.2013
Customer: What is the difference between MS180 steel purchased in Ukraine and Germany? On the photo I see a visual difference in the fixation of the protective shield for the chain

Service center: Visually differences should not be, there is a difference in the country of assembly, Ukrainian gathered in China.

[ + 12 - ] Comment quote №81071
 04.05.2013
at the stop. There is a girl with a small, hairy dog with a cute pink bat (the dog). I watched, and the dog was sick. It is unfortunate...

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №81070
 04.05.2013
Question: What did you smoke?!" - was written in the impotence of the imagination. Such a sad phrase!

You sometimes encounter a curious quote, a game of imagination, chains of ideas, paradoxes of perception, and the interlocutor is clearly unable to support the thought.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №81069
 04.05.2013
The woman burned:
J: You remind me of Dyatla Wooda with your laughter.
I am 0_o
J: Well, the cartoon was like that.
I: Maybe Woody?
No, no Woody!
So he presented Dyatla Wooda with his laughter...

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №81068
 04.05.2013
silen81: The GAZ leadership has recognized the existence of parallel universes. In the advertisement of the new newspaper, they called Russia the country of good roads.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №81067
 04.05.2013
The female logic:

- You have broken both legs, you are sick, you are sick, you are full of work and you do not want to come to me! You are not loving me!

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №81066
 04.05.2013
Hockey France - Slovakia AC/DC "Highway to Hell" The commentary burns:
“So, ‘Highway to Hell’ sounds under the curtains of the arena, and the national team of France has gone toward the Slovak gates.

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