bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №47172
 09.05.2011

We discuss work lessons at school and clothing business.
...and yet another difficult operation – the twisting of the cant...
Is it that he has a starry sky inside and a moral law outside?

[ + 51 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №47171
 09.05.2011
Teachers of Chemistry! Say you need to go to the toilet and go out to drink! Be a bad guy.

[ + 81 - ] Comment quote №47170
 09.05.2011
Dear brothers and sisters! Happy Day of Victory! Peaceful heaven over your head! Ura to! Ura to! Ura!! to

[ + 71 - ] Comment quote №47169
 09.05.2011
Recently, something busted, scared of something with the heart and called an ambulance. The ambulance came, they say that everything is fine with the heart, you have osteochondrosis, such as contacting a neurologist. A day later I have a medical examination, I go to a neurologist, asks:"There are complaints?"And for me what osteochondrosis, that atherosclerosis sounds the same, I tell him:"Yes, no, but recently the ambulance came, they put me... A! Osteosclerosis, I told you to contact". The doctor and the nurse laugh. Nurses:"Do you have osteochondrosis?", I:"A, well, yes, exactly osteochondrosis", Doctor:"Yes, the way is osteosclerosis, especially in Russian as it sounds - the fossilization of the brain";

[ + 57 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №47168
 09.05.2011
Teacher of obzh major in retirement and in classes tells a lot of fairy tales. Here is one of them:
Teacher: When I was still serving in the army, we and our comrades were assigned to get to the settlement through the desert. We go for 3-4 hours and we realize that we are lost, look back, and the traces of snow slowly.
Where is the snow in the desert?
You are the smartest!? to

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №47167
 09.05.2011
The coats have been in the country for a week, there are three at home: I, the dog and the cat. Whatever they eat, they eat them. Food at the end. Yesterday evening I see a picture: while the dog sleeps, the cat from his bowl pulls food into his... Zuka is stuck))) Do not forget to buy him to eat.

[ + 71 - ] Comment quote №47166
 09.05.2011
From the social network.
Place of Rest: KUTUZOVSKY / Moscow 147 people

[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №47165
 09.05.2011
A friend returned from another country, he said... He sat in our city after a plane on a taxi, named the address. The driver took him for a tourist and decided to drive around the city longer, in order to crack the price. They’re going, they’re going... Almost the whole city has gone around. Here a friend did not tolerate and said - yes, thank you for the tour, and now home))) Driver - and you what, local!? You didn’t say right away...

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №47164
 09.05.2011
Do you think girls can be beaten?
Personally, I can beat bad girls with the stomach on the pope!
Or on the forehead.

[ + 73 - ] Comment quote №47163
 09.05.2011
In heroes what to play... never played in them.
I split up before the session.

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №47162
 09.05.2011
I don’t need sunglasses!
I can get on my breasts!

The pH :)

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №47161
 09.05.2011
Godfather (23:54:23 8/05/2011)
Sergey Mavrodi's wife Elena Pavlyutchenko unconditionally believed the predictions of her astrologer. As it turned out later, this astrologer was the man of Mavrodi, who invented this scheme to control his wife.

Darth Val (23:54:45 8/05/2011)
It is 😉

Darth Val (23:54:49 8/05/2011)
Fuck it

Darth Val (23:54:53 8/05/2011)
He was really a genius.)

Darth Val (23:55:00 8/05/2011)
Not just the whole country.

Darth Val (23:55:02 8/05/2011)
and his wife)

[ + 71 - ] Comment quote №47160
 09.05.2011
I just caught a live mosquito...what do you think I did?
YYY: has he eaten? Locked in a mosquito house. Learn to dance?
Is there any other option?
Name: Don_know
WOW: Did he run out?
I pushed it into the gaps between the keys, and when it flooded where I needed it, I crushed it in trouble!!!! to
I mean fucking. Do not write me anymore.

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №47159
 09.05.2011
“The life of Linux was hard,” he thought, wiping off the logos of the wire from the new key.

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №47158
 09.05.2011
Q: Have you met someone special?
Y: Do you mean I had sex?
X: I missed your way of speaking straight.

[ + 76 - ] Comment quote №47157
 09.05.2011
Xxx forgive me.
WOW: I only have one question.
How did you print the SMS?? to

[ + 78 - ] Comment quote №47156
 09.05.2011
I will never die again in the country where I was born.

[ + 97 - ] Comment quote №47155
 09.05.2011
by netneladno:
Yesterday I wanted to buy a shrimp but decided to save and bought a shrimp.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №47154
 09.05.2011
As you climb the Mount of Power, you see only a flock of lambs below.

[ + 118 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №47153
 09.05.2011
Oh yeah sorry! Not the mine!
But I really liked it. Just edited it.

and nostalgia.

If you were a child in the 60s or 70s, looking back, it’s hard to believe how we survived.
When I was a child, I drove in cars without seat belts.
Our beds were painted with bright paint with high lead content.
We drank water from the column around the corner, not from plastic bottles.
No one ever thought about riding a bicycle in helmets.

We left the house in the morning and returned late in the evening when the lights were lit (where they were).
We ate cakes, ice cream, drank lemonade – and nobody got fat from it.
Several people drank from the same bottle, and no one died.
We didn’t have gaming consoles, computers, a lot of satellite TV channels, CDs, cell phones, the internet... We had a crowd watching cartoons to the nearest house, as the cartoons showed in time, and the program for the week was learned by the mouth (and it was hard to remember two cartoons in a week!)

Some students were not very clever, so they were left for the second year.

There are not seven wonders of the world, but many more. Isn’t it a miracle of the world the first Soviet remedy after shaving? Do you remember? A piece of newspapers!! to
And such a miracle as the tuning of the car "Moscow - 412"! Do you remember?
5-coupé coins on the perimeter of the front glass, mushroom steering wheel, epoxy handle of the transmission box with a rose.

This cake is a miracle, no? You can never guess which side will come out!
And this wonderful mom’s divorce: “I buy you now, but it’s for your birthday.”
And the magical grandmother’s farewell phrase: “Don’t forget to return the banks!”
And the refrigerator ZIL with a lock, for the case of a public apartment, remember?
This is a one-handed bandit: you pull the pen - the banks fall out.

The free medicine. It is also a miracle. The doctor is one, and the rows are three: one - on the bills, the other - on the record, the third - "I will only ask."

How many miracles!
A small window from the kitchen to the bathroom - What was there to look at? The shoe is a horse.
Dental powder, which cleansed not only teeth, but also silver, and glasses on windows.
Milk in bottles with a cover of foil.
A machine with gased water!!! There was a glass, one for everyone. (Nobody is going to think of drinking from a common glass today.) But before, everyone drank from one glass and nobody was afraid to catch any infection. By the way, these drinks were used by local drunkards.
Imagine they have returned them.

A white blanket on the wall and the light is turned off. No, it is not a sect. This is Dialysis.
Smoke rains and smells throughout the apartment. This is burning. Millions of Soviet boys burned different pictures on plates.

The girls played in the rubber. No one knew the rules of the game.
And still, they sat in the bathroom on a chair, in the darkness, with a red light.
Have I guessed? Ordinary photo printing. All our lives are on black and white photographs printed by our own hands.

If you are one of that generation, I congratulate you!

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