bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №96632
 13.04.2014
xxx: Put yourself in the place of the intelligence service with its tasks and capabilities and the answer will be obvious.
YYY: Why is it obvious?
XX: Well, there are such things – obvious. You come home with a wife and a dog and someone wrote in the corner. You can talk to your wife! :) In general, the answer is obvious.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №96631
 13.04.2014
I entered by spam. This is the type of voice that invites me to meet.

About me
The Name: Darina
Date of Birth: 22 May 1993
Height: 170 cm
Weight: 57 kg
Physical condition: Strong
Vegetation on the face and body: Chest, Back, Arms, Feet

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №96630
 13.04.2014
Marvin: As I go down the subway, I am increasingly convinced that if for some reason a zombie apocalypse happens suddenly, then in addition to the first wave mutants, about 70% of the survivors will initially be bitten on the first day because they have not noticed any difference in what is happening on the street.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №96629
 13.04.2014
Doing nonsense is not difficult. It is difficult then to prove that what is done is part of a far-reaching clever plan.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №96628
 13.04.2014
Born and raised in the village. From birth until 23 years old (then married and moved to the city or first to the city), there were many livelihoods in the village, including cats! I still remember Red, there is no such red cat named Barmalay! So this cat with a gorgeous red face loves to go with my father and me to Bath! He will jump on the roof and wait for it to be dampened (a little wreath) and then into the basin with water! It could several times... and!! By the way, Bartholomew did not drink milk at all!

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №96627
 13.04.2014
The first Russian-Ukrainian war on the Internet. No killed, but many injured in the head.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №96626
 13.04.2014
Sufferers with one socket. Buy a net for clothes and put the socks in it before washing! The net costs a penny, cheaper than a bottle of beer!

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №96625
 13.04.2014
(After the story in the news about activists painting holes on the roads)
They need to come to us, we have a road to Olkhovka, there you can put a beaten tank on the road and film about the war.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №96624
 13.04.2014
Piracy in Russia, from the forum.
I don't even know how to know, a pirate or a face, long ago knocked, I don't remember anymore

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №96623
 13.04.2014
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
WOW: Suddenly I realized that I was hotten them too often
Q: What happened this time? and :)
I, when in the new series of Game of Thrones, a human hand was placed on a metric flame, on the whole room. The rope will burn, and the inside will be raw.
Okay, this is a diagnosis 😉

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №96622
 13.04.2014
I forged the salt in a pack, accidentally cut the bag and a little salt poured out on the table. The wife observes this and deliberately gives:
- I watch you dissolve salt... and I soon have months... how I do not envy you...

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №96621
 13.04.2014
A colleague told me. The first-class daughter comes home and says:
We have a day of astronauts on Friday.
and whom?
The cosmonauts!! to

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №96620
 13.04.2014
and nervous:
A girl with a high self-esteem:

I will uncover the secret of the "born" literacy.
At school, I had a lot of trouble learning the rules of Russian.
The secret is simple - a bookcase at home, filled with adventure literature collected by mom and grandfather. And access to the children’s library, which was in the house, through my grandfather gave books to the house... I grew up as an idealist with pink glasses in front of my eyes, but I never in my life had any doubts about how to correctly write a word or another and where to put a bracelet.

You just lick yourself. It is well known that children who read a lot write more literally than those who read a little, but they do not have innate literacy. Congenital literacy is a talent that is extremely rare. Does the word "born" have any other meaning? And it is almost impossible to lose it, especially under the influence of some incomprehensible chapter there. There are also great doubts about your "learning" and "dictations".

High self-esteem has nothing to do with this, the girl is right. It is obvious that when you see the word "dog" a hundred times, your hand will not rise to write "sabaka". Just this phenomenon is conditionally called "inherited literacy". And literacy, by the way, innate in the real sense of the word to be and can not at all for understandable reasons, if, of course, not fall into mysticism. If there is something innate, it is, for example, visual memory.

[ + 36 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №96619
 13.04.2014
The essence of the Inquisition:
1) is
Do you believe in the devil?
and no.
The devil exists. This is stated in the Scriptures. If you refuse to acknowledge the truth of Scripture, you are a heretic. Burn it up!

2) is
Do you believe in the devil?
and yes.
Your words blame you, O servant of the devil! For as it is said in the Scripture, faith is manifested in service. Burn him.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №96618
 13.04.2014
Now in the subway is sounding advertisement that there have been more cases of fires because of the fact that someone throws cigarettes from the upper floors and there is a request: "Do not store on the balcony flammable household items".
I wonder what shit it is. Maybe it’s worth saying Hey, Wicked, Stop Throwing Your Habarics From The Balcony

[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №96617
 13.04.2014
I will also put my five copies on "born" literacy.
Years up to 12 stretched to any printed word, read absolutely everything that comes to hand, even obviously adult books, which sometimes did not understand at all (not porn, but simply designed for the mature mind). The result - no problems with spelling at all, with punctuation - only in very difficult sentences. In school, I was constantly getting pills for ignorance of the rules, the teacher didn't care that I wrote everything right without a hint, while the pimples depend on difficult words, looking for the right rule. And in the universe the teacher called it "linguistic sense".)

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №96616
 13.04.2014
To "Caesarevics-Caesarevics" and "Cherbers-Cherbers", since the site is humorous, a joke:
"Publishing office "Northwest", working day, everyone is sitting in the mouth. Suddenly a thunder, a door with a cock, some long ears in the coats break, turmoil, chairs fly, arrows... Then suddenly everything disappears, silence... The employees come out from under the tables and see a note attached to the wall with a knot. They turn, and there: "...and tell your translator that he is a goat! by Curtis Curtis"

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №96615
 13.04.2014
It is true: in Soviet times, those children who read a lot, wrote more literally than the rest. Because the editors were not saved.
Why was it I - long sought for Shakespeare, more comedies and less tragedies, in good translations... my husband broke up, bought me a luxurious gift edition. I read three pages and I cried. Beautiful painting, beautiful illustrations... but fucking!!! Seven gross spelling mistakes instantly broke my eyes! The book now is brighter, more expensive to form and not to read the text entirely!!! The teacher of Russian language wrote to me somehow "President" and "Expanded"...in general, the correction is something and no one can do it...

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №96614
 13.04.2014
Today I got a bag from the warehouse with which I went to work in the summer and had lunch in it. There are two containers since September lying, in one the salad remains, in the other the chicken bone.
Tag: washing up
Q: Do you know someone who is engaged in exorcism? I have released the demons.

[ + 38 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №96613
 12.04.2014
This is in the run-up to:
"Listening at work
What do you know about old age? I am still decoding the PC abbreviation as a Fire Crane, not a Personal Computer!
It is not old age, but stupidity given for experience. Because the firefighter is HYDRANT.

Maybe the young man did not know but the hydrants were not called in the Union. And starting from the school and kindergarten, a person saw cabinets with firearms built into the walls on which was written -PK. The fire crane.

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