One man has been with me for a long time. And on my replicas about "everything is terrible", "how can" and all that said about like you. This is the calm look of a man who does his business, looks around and believes in the future of Russia, his family and all that. So one day I open a friend and read his post: All I got a residence permit in New Zealand and get out of this terrible country.
And now I am interested in reading his beautiful records about life in New Zealand.

If you have not found yourself, then not everything is lost.

Listen to the story of your birthday.
Three months ago, a small but proud insurance company celebrated the anniversary of the director. 50 years is a beautiful figure and, from any side, wonderful. It is as solid as well as the strength to rejoice in life.

Since the anniversary was a company man and with understanding, the employees decided to play him. Half an hour before the boss came to work, the insurers asked the guard for the keys from the director's office and brought a huge cake there. But not just a cake, but a cake with a secret – it was covered with a large glass cap, stood on a large wooden box, and there was a red button on the box itself. If you press that button, the cover moves, and the insurance agent, who is hiding in the box, squeezes the director’s cake straight in the face. This is a foolish joke. A new shirt for the director was already prepared, the second cake was in the refrigerator – so there shouldn’t have been any victims in this story.

However, there was a small trouble. Secretary Olya, closing the director's office, was so nervous that she accidentally dropped the key band on her shoe. The foot in the shoe crashed involuntarily - and the keys flew straight into the gap between the door and the floor. After a moment, the keys were in the director's office, and out of the reach of the hand or swab.
You can imagine the situation, right? In the box, there is a twisted insurance agent who cannot get out without pressing a button, and it is impossible to enter the cabinet, because the only keys are on the floor in the same cabinet.
How to?

Frightened insurers ran to the guard - is there no spare key?
The guard opened the door with their hands - there is no key, they are not trained to handle the doors, but we will help to break the door. Soon there was a consensus - to break the door or wait for the permission of the director? They decided to break. If the agent is sitting in the box for half an hour or more, he will suffocate or lose consciousness, so there is nothing to wait for someone's orders, you need to save a life.

Two of the strongest security guards and the strongest insurance agent began to knock the door with their whole body. But here is the trouble – the house was Stalinic, and the door was the most powerful, thorough, of the best oak, so that three healthy men after a five-minute struggle only found their side. The tension increased.
What to do?! Can we drink the castle? He proposed one of
The Insurers.
We cannot succeed.
Yes, we will not succeed. Need to quickly.
and Eureka! Have you all seen the light? The helmet here, the helmet!

Strangely enough, the helmet was found by the guard. And here is the picture - a powerful guard, fiercely turning his eyes, began to crush the oak door with the sign "Director" with a tail. All this happened under the bloodthirsty cries of employees:
Go to!
Break up stronger!
and crush! Fight out of all!

At that moment, the late director finally entered the office. For two minutes, shocked, he watched a terrible scene worthy of some witch shabash. And it was only then that he was noticed, and by another coincidence, the first one to do this was a guard with a towel - a fierce, with a sweaty and red face:
“Good morning, Mikhail Nikolaich. Happy Birthday Day. We see – how
When we wait for you...
The director slowly slipped to the floor.

Gas and oil belong to the people. It is understandable. I don’t understand why people sell them to themselves for such angry money.

Scientists say that 97% of humans, if they are offered a new pen, will first write their name.
XHH: judging by the cardboard in the kiosk of ropechati, which lies at the window, the pen is purchased by 3% of the population of the planet

Russia is Denmark.
"In the breaks of the tireless hunt for the health of the opponent's goalkeeper (he was given a personal license at the beginning of the championship), nobody knows?This big man tried the whole match to knock the shadow in the gate. The claw, the legs, the legs of the goalkeeper, all the goalkeeper who got under the hand of a Danish, two Danes – what he just didn’t try! And I recorded! The winning! No need to change Artyukhin for Ovechkin, with Artyukhin more fun. He and the law of gravity are a playful, sharp and deadly combination against any team.”

I realized something was wrong when I woke up in a cold sweat because I couldn’t remember what the Minotaurs in Heroes 3 looked like.

XXX is
Fuck, I had lunch with a girl like that... just class.

XXX is
That fucking cute.

YYYY
Was it delicious? )

XXX is
and ROFL
XXX is
with such

It was a matter of communion.
- Boys, you need to wash the floor, where do you have the cloth?
Behind that closet. Do not break...

But five years ago, a cleaning worker from the clinic offered to look for Osama in Pakistan.

tormaz (15:37:29 4/01/2010)
In the contact appeared a new status "loved in"

tormaz (15:37:40 4/01/2010)
missing status "flown from"

Just a good guy (15:37:51 4/01/2010)
You can also "drop on"

Just a good guy (15:38:32 4/01/2010)
or as an option "I am troubled with"

Just a good guy (15:38:50 4/01/2010)
Agree that it is not always the same as "meet"

tormaz (15:39:06 4/01/2010)
indeed

Just a good guy (15:39:19 4/01/2010)
and how in the news would look "Ivan Ivanov started to fuck with Katya Petrova"

I love my sclerosis.
YYY :?? to
On Friday I went home from the universe and wanted chocolate. I bought it and put it in my bag until I got home and forgot about it. All the weekend wildly wanted sweets, went back to the store, bought another chocolate, threw it in the bag, came home, my mom urgently needed some business. While driving it, I forgot about chocolate again. On Monday he went home from the universe, wanted a chocolate, bought it, put it in a bag.
YYY : LOL
xxx: as a result today lost the keys in the bag, shaken the contents on the table, and from there fell three chocolates ^_^ I adore my sclerosis

@ni404: How uncomfortable it is to write a letter to a German, with a copy to a Japanese, that we are not working on May 9 because of the day of victory. I entered the moment.

XXX: I am standing in a row in the store. A black man rolls to me and says, “Hello, how are you doing?” and “I’m afraid not very well.” and “Oh, do you speak English?” He looked at me so sadly and said: "I too"))

Given the violation of the thermoregulation of non-living zombies, in the winter in Russia they will turn into a dwarf. From what follows the conclusion, in case of mass infection, it is necessary to stay until the first frosts.

by Neopasen:
You are the most beautiful on the planet.
The Citadel:
O thank you
by Neopasen:
Choose a planet.

About the cocktail "The Elder", which seems to be "The Elder"... I have my own story. I work a lot in the supermarket. I come home - my husband is already asleep, he also works a lot, he leaves in the morning - I sleep, we meet in the evening, even talk no strength. I realized that I needed a weekend with all the outputs, when on the packs with roulette instead of "Choose Me" read "Fuck Me", and on the banks with cucumbers instead of "Astrachan Summer"- "Astrachan Summer". And the sausage more often started to hit the eyes...

Yesterday the whole office was crying.Zamdira assigned the secretary to make a congratulatory card on May 9 for colleagues from 16 other cities.Well, she did: a photograph of flowers, wishes for health, success, etc. etc., and the signature below"Low tribute, and eternal memory".
Revendell

Green – Hollywood
Everyone is watching porn movies, yes, everybody has seen a movie with a strawberry once in their lives. And this pudding industry continues to develop involving actors and TV viewers, and there are also various types of closed porn shows or porn shows, as well as all kinds of sex festivals and sex championships. Does anyone want to get there? It would add picantity to your resume ;) But that’s not the point. Dear porn industrials, let’s work on a good balloon? Put advertisements in your movies. Advertising about safe sex. Advertising about the rescue of nature (suggest: guys rub the forest illegally, a meltdown comes and takes them away. Then a new picture. Already other guys rub the forest legally and beautiful girls come to them and thank them for preserving nature. It is obvious.) Well, or the Advertising of rare professions (Big Ben clock cleaners, condoms testers, penguin twisters)... or how to stop wars. War or Sex? I am for the second. It remains to bring it to the audience...there is a place to walk! We work for good, for good.

A break between couples.
I remember a friend and I once got drunk in an old garage, then we talked about physics for a long time and finally decided that there was no God!
Yyy: You’d better decide that boiling is bad...