bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №136341
 28.11.2016
I suddenly understood English grammar in 9th grade as a mathematical representation of Russian. And since then instead of "between 3 and 4" began to have a solid five.

You are good. Do you share the function equation with the rest?

[ + 32 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №136340
 28.11.2016
aaa: And the words "played" are not in the Russian language, because the postfix -is- in the reversal form of the verb is nothing more than a "self-setting". It would sound strange "to lose yourself", don’t you think?

bbb: That is, it’s stupid to say ‘the dog bites’ because it would mean that it bites itself? :o) (Well, and even more wildly it sounds "I do not sleep" – because "sleep"-that is an unpassing verb!)

Ccc: I can’t help but smile.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №136339
 28.11.2016
I watched extreme sports on YouTube 15 years ago and modern. It feels like everything has become easier before trying not to kill yourself.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №136338
 28.11.2016
Hi to. No good times of day. Hello and greetings, and respect expressed, and health wished. And not to penetrate.

Funny beginning of your letter.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №136337
 28.11.2016
I forgot something, by the way, you go to the shit, well in my sense, you go to the concert?

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №136336
 28.11.2016
I fantasize about men. As always. I imagine a man sitting in a decree with two children. My wife works. And here, she comes home, say, at eight o’clock, shakes his son and sits down and looks at the TV. Or he goes to drink beer with his friends, and then comes back at twelve.

A man who sits with two (three, five, etc.) children, prepares, leads their clinic and so on, everyone claims that he looks bad. The press is like that. He walks around the house in stretched trainers, not in strings. The haircut is done once every six months. I have broken up, Carro.

And the wife is already looking at colleagues, with whom she is much more interesting to communicate than with a man, who tells only about what news in the playground. Then she leaves, and makes a lip certificate of income, so that the alimony is not paid, and the children remain with her husband. Who will run out as he wills. Who needs two children?

If you know a lot of such cases, you can safely say that in Russia full gender equality and pheninism have triumphed.”

c) Leda Garina

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №136335
 28.11.2016
Worked for a while in the state office - in a way a very convenient place for a student overtime: the salary is socialist, but the training leave is given without problems. In general, we were three in the department – me, the boss and Katya. And one day it happened that the boss talked to me in the tone of "we are smart people with you", but Katya he did not especially appreciate, so he did not entrust her with responsible tasks.

After six months, it turned out that I actually do half the functions of a manager and somehow quite a lot of the work of an ordinary employee, and Katya only fills in numerous tablets and orders crafts, because she is stupid and will not cope with anything difficult.

In general, in order to understand that the stupid here is not Katya, it took me a lot of time, and to the stories about "I worked a lot, pulled everything on myself and became the general manager" since then I have been skeptical, at least because Katya became the deputy general director of that state office five years later.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №136334
 28.11.2016
I work honestly, I don’t ask for vouchers, I don’t play on project prices.
I’m a fool, because the more stupid people get more.
I came to the conclusion that the smart have a conscience, and the more stupid have an atrophic function of the brain.
And who are the fools...?? to

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №136333
 28.11.2016
Julia: I sit there
Seriously, I’ve been cuddling all night :-) Fun
With the elephants?
No, the yellow
And there is no yellow cottage of salt?
by Julia: Yes

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №136332
 28.11.2016
Habr, "copters learned to sit on the roofs of moving cars"

xxx: We are waiting for news such as: "When returning from vacation, the family forgot to take the UAV. After riding 4000 km, he returned home after four months.
yyy: Ugu, and there is also a drone that sits on wires like birds. Not for rest, but for recharge. and :)
zzz: and for the winter they fly to warm countries, where there is a lot of sun and free solar cells.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №136331
 28.11.2016
>>>>
Grammar... let it go! The English grammar is one of the simplest, with no comparison to Russian. honestly honestly.
>>>>

My teacher of English (not in school, on dop courses), a former translator, said that English is not mathematics, 2x2 can be both 3, and 5. Especially in schools they learn Queen’s English, the straight correct-right, which is spoken almost only in the queen’s palace. Others make suggestions as they want. Of course, following some basic rules to at least understand something can be.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №136330
 28.11.2016
What’s wrong with the "good time of day"?! to
So, like Vladivostok - so respect our time zone, and how did not "Good morning", so all? What do you all have?! to
What if the addresses only read at night? Or in the evening? How to guess?
Shortened and shorter!

[ + 29 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №136329
 28.11.2016
Evgenia Чудновец, 33, found on the Internet a record of bullying of schoolchildren in the summer camp of Kurgan and published it in her closed group. The video provided a angry commentary with the demand to immediately understand the situation, but investigators considered the repost to be the spread of child pornography, for which the educator was imprisoned for six months in the Shadrinsk colony. Despite the fact that the baby has a native grandma and aunt

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №136328
 28.11.2016
I went to freelance to work on the site. It started well. But then... what would be more understandable, I will say this:
Suppose you were asked to install and connect a bathroom to an apartment on the 5th floor. But it turns out this is not an apartment, and there are no floors, it is a cave in a rock, where there is no confinement or water supply. I have to lay the foundation, build 5 floors, lay water supply, sewage, and when I finally finish and it remains to put the bath, I ask that I would give it and in response I get - we have no bath. But we have something better - the design of the bathroom, you will get it". And then I wonder why I don’t go on time.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №136327
 28.11.2016
Pictures of the father of four daughters:
Happy men, girls tend to love their fathers very much, even when they grow up. The only disadvantage in all this is that the family will be interrupted, the daughters will leave the house and change their surname.
YYY: What a stupid thing is preserving a family. Does the name mean a lot? We do not live in the Middle Ages.
ZZZ: Sanya the Good, the crown of another dynasty will pass

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №136326
 28.11.2016
You are a doctor in what direction?
Andrei: Stallone
Paul: I have understood. Do not correct

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №136325
 28.11.2016
xxx: The Beijing smog threatens the survival of mankind. In samples of Beijing smog, scientists found genes of bacteria resistant to the latest and strongest antibiotics. China loves antibiotics. And the forecasts are disappointing – by 2050, about 1 million premature deaths are predicted annually due to antimicrobial resistance.

The smog will kill a lot of Chinese every year by 2050

At this point, there will be about 4 lars.

xxx: disappointing, fucking, forecast

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №136324
 28.11.2016
The young generation, the fucking.
Tell me a joke about Chopin?
Who is Chapaev?

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №136323
 28.11.2016
Is it just that I have such a strange reflection - to cut out the sound before clicking on a link to some popular site?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №136322
 28.11.2016
<xxx>In my opinion, the best agitation for the Dark Side of the Force is the song "Night Comes" of the group "Mirage":
<xxx> The Night is Coming
and promises
Do everything for me.
I know now,
The night is stronger than the day.
<xxx>Why is this not the case?? to

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