bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 38 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №80725
 25.04.2013
Sometimes I go to fast food near my home. There are all the sellers of beijiki "You welcome <The seller’s name>". recently entered, and there a cute girl of Tatar appearance and on her "You welcome Nazgull". Here are what they are

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №80724
 25.04.2013
Mom gave, looking at my figure - at your age must have a body, and you have power :)

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №80723
 25.04.2013
Frostfy: I am increasingly convinced that the only one who can listen carefully and understandably is the Echo in Skype.

[ + 36 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №80722
 25.04.2013
A friend is someone who can tell you the truth in your eyes. An enemy is someone who told you the truth in your eyes.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №80721
 25.04.2013
In the distant still pre-constructional times, Kolya left after his mother for PMJ to Germany. He was less than 20 at the time, and he had a dream – his own car. The mother loved the son very much, and soon Kohl became the happy owner of the Opel Kadett 197a certain year. Is it worth saying that his happiness was virtually unlimited? It is now most teenagers such a gift will be more sad than delighted. And then... a glowing SUV with unusual shapes for the Soviet man’s eye and a powerful 1.6 litre engine, speeding up this sports car to 100 km / h in 13-14 seconds. And it was at the time when most of the Soviet automotive industry took half a minute for this feat!! to
Emotions escalated, the power of its own hypercar required immediate demonstration and self-affirmation. Seeing the stop signals standing on the lighthouse at the nearest car intersection, Kolya slowed down in the neighboring row and proudly looked at the opponent. The sight of another's car a little ruined the joyful anticipation of the inevitable victory. But is it Kolya's fault that the fate was willing to reduce him in a fight with a German disabled woman, once and a half less than Colin's opel, and also painted in a gentle green color? Having promised himself to find a more worthy opponent for the next race, Kolya began to squeeze the pedal, attracting the attention of the neighbor. The elderly German for a long time could not understand what a young man needed from him to drive a sports car, but in the end he still sneezed Cole and set himself up on the lightforest... Further from the words of Cole himself: "You imagine, while I hit the third transmission, this dirty disabled girl was already braking at the next intersection at the end of the quarter!! To say I was shocked is to say nothing. I was in shock. Destroyed and humiliated. The fucking. How is it?” The town where Kolya and his mother lived was small, and soon he found his offender. The ordinary burger. The lucky owner of the legendary Porsche 911 Carrera from 1973. 5 seconds to 100. This is “disabled.” Soft green colour and less opal.

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №80720
 25.04.2013
Record in the theatre book of reviews after the premiere of the next production "Anna Karenina":
“I’ve never expected a train like that.”

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №80719
 25.04.2013
Laughter and sin.
The head of the Department of State Control was detained for drug trafficking.

[ + 99 - ] Comment quote №80718
 25.04.2013
The cat: Hi!
Ramazoid: well hello
Let me get acquainted?
Ramazoid: Let’s Go
I am Katya.
Ramazoid: I am Sereza
Cat: Where are you working? Who is?
Ramazoid: a designer in the office "Uncle Pasha"
Cat: What do you like?
Ramazoid: Yes all the stuff
Is there a salary, conditions of work, everything suitable?
Ramazoid:..... Semen Petrovich, what about these modern-day Chinese methods? if you are not satisfied with my job, then say so - Seregha shoot into the accounting office with an application, I look at the IP, I know from which machines you came out to the network, I even give birth to your vision - look, the lamp on the webcam is burning, you want to know the opinion about the office? so you just conduct the questionnaire, with one single question - whether my director is adequate, yes-no, the results will upset you, believe me, the salary I received even and I do not remember when, the flow of personnel in your office is more than in the Niagara Falls, and in general I am all satisfied, everything is good and just wonderful.
Catchenko: Serge, go to the accounting office with a statement...
Ramazoid: Yes, I have already gone down, made a statement and went home, carefully squeezing all the bases, inishers and configs, I am changing to labor and salary remains.... well and of course, cmoki ji, Kotenko ))))

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №80717
 25.04.2013
Are you ready for Easter?
Oleg: already washed, ready for painting! by ROFL

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №80716
 25.04.2013
About the vibration.
A great idea, just a couple of sensors should have been on the back...not for gays, no. Just standing, like texting on the bus-an-no, actually scratching your ass...

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №80715
 25.04.2013
1: What are you busy with?
2: Repair of
1: You just planned to start it in two weeks.
Yesterday, a drunk brother changed everything.
1: What did he do?
2: No, it is easier. This dumb man in the darkness confused the air refresher with black paint for shoes. So I decided to start earlier.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №80714
 25.04.2013
Comment on the video where a guy descends from the mountain on a bike: Beautiful. Give God health. I watched worried, almost I didn't get upset

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №80713
 25.04.2013
Top score after the match Bayern – Barcelona (4:0):
You watched German porn. Starring Thomas Mueller, Mario Gomez, Arjen Robben. Directed by Jupp Heynckes. In the film were filmed: bald Pike, lost Messi, stubborn Valdes and others. The film was filmed on the basis of the match Dynamo 4-0 Barcelona.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №80712
 25.04.2013
Some strange ideas you have about the elite of the house, which does not even have its own parking lot and the owners of apartments are forced to throw their cars in the yard.

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №80711
 25.04.2013
XXX is
#.Renault and Peugeot...)

"Powered ", the two of us)))

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №80710
 25.04.2013
Rostelecom was burned
We turned off the phone at the office (payment has ended). We subscribed, but the phones do not work. Call them on this occasion, the girl at the other end issues "cut off the payment by fax" O_o
Girl or stupid or epic troll

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №80709
 25.04.2013
xxxxxxxxxxx:
I am laughed at those people who demand to write texts and refuse to pay for gaps.
xxxxxxxxxxx:
Well let me write to you without gaps and find out there yourself.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №80708
 25.04.2013
xxx: called the home, asked Hope. I said "We have no hope here".
It was horrible... xD

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №80707
 25.04.2013
I talk to my girlfriend:
Are you leaving for a long time?
It is an hour
I - write to the ASU, I'm like this, I'll go in so much, I'll go back in so much (well, as if I'm joking, and that there's something to operate after her delay as a proof :) )
She is good.
A message comes:
“I’ll go out at 10 o’clock and come no later than 12 or 15.”
I am 2:15 is 1 hour?
She - Yes
135 minutes = 1 hour.
She - Yes

The shit! Now we know how they count the times!1! 1!

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №80706
 24.04.2013
From the forum photo.ru:
We were in the building when we were given valves from the dryer so as not to create a push near the one in the hands were given 2 pieces and not necessarily coupled.Then built in one shelter and those in whom both left made two steps forward in whom the right one.Then the out of order exchanged one valve (and what is interesting to any) Well, the back at this time mainly rested or helped to change clothes to those in whom the valves looked in different directions.

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