bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №80685
 24.04.2013
heard here a few days ago from the owner of a country house, where on the site there is the house itself, flowers, lawn, inflatable pool and a few tree trees - you only need to plant cognac, vodka and wine, then the harvest is not stressed, but relaxed.

[ + 41 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №80684
 24.04.2013
I can’t help but get surprised by all these stories about the Post.
I work in an online store, every week we send up to 30 packages in Russia. The label was only once when the document to the shipment was entered the wrong address, that is, it is purely our fault. (We wrote a statement, the package was intercepted, less than two weeks - and it returned to us.)
And, of course, shipments are slowly reaching Kamchatka. But from St. Petersburg in its course there is not a day or two to get there, so it is not surprising.
And you know, no one has ever said that he has received an unopened package or hasn’t come at all. And to me, the parcel from Pyatigorsk went less than two weeks, arrived in perfect condition, and the employee of the mail, a tired young woman, handed it to me, although I flew under the closure and delayed it for more than five minutes.

And the employee of the department in Alexander Nevsky Square wanted to buy chocolate. The boy is not 25 years old. Every second shocks the fist and thumbs, say, why are you not accepting ordered letters? And every time the guy calmly answers that their department has no such opportunity. He never raised his voice, he never cried, he was always polite, though he was rotating like a protein in a wheel, not work, but hell.

And how can I believe that everywhere is shrinking and rubbing?

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №80683
 24.04.2013
I: Will you give me?
Girl : what?
I: You know what)
D: Well you say what I will say "yes"!

[ + 54 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №80682
 24.04.2013
I am angry with people who take the initiative of me!!! to

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №80681
 24.04.2013
Give me my number, I take a look.
He has divided him.
It is: Printed
Live there: and by fax she started heraking every frame in A4 format

I thought!! The wicked, the unstable! c) South Park
These things are transmitted by fax modem! He made himself more stupid than a fool. Remember to! By the fax modem!! to

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №80680
 24.04.2013
I drink, I can’t drive.
I played in the GTA, I can’t drive!

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №80679
 24.04.2013
From Sailog.ru :

kg: My owner talked about a rough pejo, in which after the update the radio switched channels along with the transmissions. That is, it started with the voice of Israel, the third was given to listen to 88FM, and the fifth sparked Arabic sermons.

[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №80678
 24.04.2013
Joker: I think I think or something BDSM and very tough sex becomes..mm..fashionable what)
marina_santiaga: Chile is gradually corrupting
marina_santiaga: first it was fun to see the girl's leg, then the sickle, now - how the strawberries are stuck in it
marina_santiaga: the natural course of history

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №80677
 24.04.2013
Snark: My ex-wife told me I was too polite and submissive. I instantly recovered because of my concession, and let go the beast that usually sits hungry and angry deep inside. She didn’t call me anymore :)

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №80676
 24.04.2013
Next to a restaurant, I see a very wonderful stretch:
"Irish PUB & Italian & Uzbek"
The Uzbek Pub. The Pizzeria.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №80675
 24.04.2013

Raphael: Delayed 11,000 from receipt
The humorist. When I pay the debt, I can only lay the eggs.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №80674
 24.04.2013
When my beloved family,
Which is cultivated and cultivated.
A day to day shit.
You are almost with appetite.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №80673
 24.04.2013
I understand why some girls call their boys "cat".
1. he is dull
When he wants to eat, he can weep long and disgustingly, demanding to put food in his mouth.
3.Lives well
Similarity is 100%)

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №80672
 24.04.2013
From the discussions on sylog.ru:

SERGEY: And I have a beautiful handwriting right now. And I want, any style I can, any slope and with curls.

Well, Wardom is all owned here.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №80671
 24.04.2013
One of the online games.

xxx: Guys, everyone knows that couples are boring, but I spend couples on the note, this is actually the question of which games can be broken while the pair is going).
Anything you need in the army.
YYY: Sappers for example

[ + 31 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №80670
 24.04.2013
"The Crisis of Sisadmin" I really want to fix something, but everything works!

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №80669
 24.04.2013
What will the red card showed to an atomic car on the post?
yyy-removal from the road part
The car is out of the race.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №80668
 24.04.2013
Kobalt: The fact that you left me doesn’t mean you’re indifferent. Because as soon as I could, I found where you were, I learned what I could about the place and the people that were near you.
Kobalt: Why didn’t you say it before? There was no point in posting it.
Cobalt: If you have questions, ask them.
Is it possible to pick up oatmeal today?

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №80667
 24.04.2013
The proportionality of punishment is that it itself should not become a crime.

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №80666
 24.04.2013
The intelligence of animals.
In the early 1990s, we had a dog called Doberman. It sounds awful, but then he was a tiny goat for forty days from the family, put on his palm. From the body of a large lamp TV, I built him a booth in the hallway. The dog loved to settle in it and lived until it grew up.
At that time, my wife was sitting without work for a long time, but then found it and in the morning, like me, began to leave the house. He was alone all day, and he didn’t like it. He was then 8 to 9 months old, according to dog standards, a teenager. And he decided in the measure of his strength and intelligence to fight against such a bestial attitude toward the animal.
I went to work all his life, he used to it, so I focused on his wife.
To begin with, he bite the German shoes he bought two weeks ago for 60 backs, in which his wife went to work. Remember, in those poor times, money is not small. As a minor, he only received an oral excuse, but already realized that it was not in the shoes - his wife went to others. I haven’t broken any shoes in my whole life.
Then he noticed that his wife was leaving with her suitcase, and in the evening he bit her a belt. The next day, the wife left with another bag, and in the evening the picture repeated. I repaired my bags. The boy's teeth were sharp, and he did not wet his skin, but cut it off with a bite like a scissor.
On the third day in the morning, he demonstrately bite the belt in front of his wife’s eyes when she was already wearing the coat. There was no time for disassembly, his wife in front of his eyes just pumped the contents from one bag to another and left. In the evening, when we went to bed, the bag was full.
In the morning, I got up before everybody, went out into the hallway and saw that the keys to the entrance door were rolled on the floor. Why is she throwing the keys? I leaned up and saw that there was something underneath the dog booth. I scattered and got: powder, mask, shadow, passport, notebook, pen, etc. and etc. In short, a full range of women’s bags. Everything is complete, nothing is broken.
The bag was immediately on the tap, and the valve was on the tap. The dog, realizing that the matter was not in the bag, but in the content, at night with his nose pulled off the valve, got absolutely everything and shakered under his booth. And the flat key he apparently dropped and could not then catch his teeth. If it wasn’t the key, I don’t know if we could guess if we were looking for a missing wife there and even think that it wasn’t a loss, not a theft, but a form of dog protest.
After that, the dog accepted and attempted to stop his wife no more. Just greeted us from work with a joyful whisper with a light blow of reproach:
“Look, you’re walking in the street all day, and I, the poor man, sit locked up and alone.
And what is interesting, the minor puppy did, in scientific language, three full cycles: planning an experiment - conducting an experiment - assessing the results - adjusting the plan according to the results of the assessment.
And you say: Pavlov’s dog, reflexes...

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna