bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №111270
 27.03.2015
Geektimes "KAMAZ" with an unmanned control system: everything you wanted to know but were afraid to ask
xxx: And the autopilot will be taught to give bribes for overloading the car and so on? and :)

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №111269
 27.03.2015
Enrolled in the gym. On the first day of the class, the coach looked at me with his kind and patient eyes to find out which muscle groups I needed to train, so to speak, but no muscle group was found.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №111268
 27.03.2015
The chief of the hammer was now explaining the task on the street to the workers, pointing to the ground with the words “hole, huita-muita, fool.” The best task ever. : 3

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №111267
 27.03.2015
The second level commentary...
to this:
Gagarin and the Queen.
------------
At the reception in his honour Gagarin confused himself in the order of using dining appliances, and said to the queen: "I am sitting at the royal table for the first time, and I don't know everything...", to which she replied: "I have been at this table for 40 years, and I also don't know everything...".

I am generally drawn from this old lady, from her manners, lines of behavior, style of clothing. She is over 80 years old, but she will appear at some event, in her background all the other politicians look like poor relatives.
-------
So she has over 80 years of constant training behind her shoulders!

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №111266
 27.03.2015
A smart man is already an ideal. I thought it should be so, if not everyone, then most. And not so long ago there was such a story where an ordinary woman is called an ideal. Is it really all so bad and there are only fools and TPs left in the world (except those who have left)?

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №111265
 27.03.2015
GNU-Ubuntu1204LTS: I plan to go to Crimea for a week in the first months of September. What is worth seeing, where to stop on the post, and other underwater stones

invy: On the ferry crossing :) It is not excluded that you will be watching it for a few days.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №111264
 27.03.2015
The strange girl:

to pay the alimony, azaza"

What if the man does not live for anything? If his family has other children? What about it all, doesn’t matter?
________
and stop. Shouldn’t a man think when he swallowed? In this case, the woman is responsible. Growing and educating. Even if it was stupid, she did it.
But what about a man? No is? Could he get electricity? It is his problem that is there. The child is him, however. And for the child, it is figured out which of the two is the bigger fool. Now he needs the care of his mother. And at least no copycat from the dad, although he wanted to swing in an unknown direction.
P.S If he has other children, the amount of alimony will be reduced. But the obligation to pay alimony does not cancel. For this duty is not in relation to the woman with whom she accidentally got out, namely the child.
P.S to P.S even if both mom and dad, in general, will give up the child or will even be deprived of parental rights both, and the child will be sent to children. The child can still receive alimony from both parents. from one and the other. Only guardianship agencies.
Why is? It is the responsibility of parents to maintain their biological children. Whether they want it or not. Parents of both sexes, yes.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №111263
 27.03.2015
Among the first cars in our population were observed:

- a beautiful American at age and with the character of an ageing movie star (loved to suddenly stop and pose);
- not less beautiful "Volga" (the same, with a deer, grandfather's pride, the only disadvantage is very difficult to push it);
- "coin" by the name of "Frankie" (this Frankenstein monster was assembled from two "coin");
- Something reminiscent of the "Opel", which was attacked by a cluster of leopards (the lady loves to park until the characteristic knock);
- Hellfully painted "Matisse", seeing which, Van Gogh would cut off his second ear...

They were all very visible cars.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №111262
 27.03.2015
A graduate friend writes:
At first, Vkontakte offered me advertising of wedding salons, and wedding photographers, and wedding stylists, and leading to the wedding. Here is left. Three at once.
Apparently, after I never responded to any of these ads, “single men” went in search, “assured men” and other kinds of men. Three now.
And again I didn’t react – started "Peter’s Mothers", "Family Shows" and "Planets of Childhood".
Artificial intelligence in thought. :) But what next? Is this all I need? Guessing my obviously difficult fate, in a couple of weeks he will go to clinics and ritual services, :).

[ + 23 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №111261
 27.03.2015
For work, I formatted a document in Word: 240 pages collected from at least a dozen other documents; gaps instead of retracements; page breaks in random locations; matches from tables; and a lot of other perversions. To all this is added a poorly distributed text. In some places it is necessary to restore the text by a set of random characters:

Hell, the proof of the proof of the proof of the proof of the proof of the proof of the proof of the proof of the proof of the proof.

I don’t think to be tormented, but simply to write at the end of each such line "Kulhu fhthn".

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №111260
 27.03.2015
Guilty and not guilty:

And again, the fault is exclusively the man, and the woman owes nothing to anyone. Think about protecting yourself before jumping into bed? It is easier to blame your partner.
_______
You fucking seem to be stubborn. Both sexes advocates "men" so-called, who to the child type is not in business.

and so –
This is what ""Sunul came out and went". The child? No, I did not do it.
It is..."
It is the responsibility of parents to maintain their biological children. Whether they want it or not. Parents of both sexes, yes"
and my text. I am a man, ah.
To you, fools, two simple things do not come.

1st Women have their part of responsibility. Growing up and raising this child.

2nd Food is not a woman. They are for the child. It is a duty of both sexes. Regardless of their wishes. Even if they were at all intentionally deprived of the parental rights of both, from both and will be demanded, I will repeat.

Three in the equality of equality. Extreme case on the matter. represented the interests of his father. Determination of the place of residence of the child with the father. To recover alimony from the mother, I emphasize again, to the child.

4 is Children are not to blame for the stupidity of one or both parents. Therefore, yes, you will pay alimony on their content, whether you want it or not. Or the second parent, or the state - according to the circumstances, with whom / where the child.

[ + 15 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №111259
 27.03.2015
My wife and I paid off the mortgage for seven years. They feared that the cat could become a separatist. He did not participate in the vote for early repayment and did not live without a mortgage, he does not know what it is. They thought he would suddenly demand the return of the mortgage burden.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №111258
 27.03.2015
A friend wrote to me:
Masha, I knew I was singing Figo, but not so much.
From the workshop was passed a bad habit I long left in the past - to sing on every occasion doing something.
I’m cooking dinner, I’m driven to torna sorriento, by the end of the song I realized that a hamster is singing. A hamster is a creature that makes sounds only when you kill it. My song is like death for him.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №111257
 27.03.2015
From comments to news about fighting the blatant romance:

Aaa: I would still radio "Shanson" banned. seriously.
BBB: What would you offer to those who are sitting out in return? Pops cannot be listened to. Rock will not be either. The rapper? It’s the same text, but the music is different.
ccc: Classical music has not been cancelled. It greatly contributes to the moral development of a person and involvement in the beautiful.
Ddd: Presented under the roaring dynamics of the music of Tchaikovsky from the tinted "nine" come out two cotton boys in sports costumes and say: "state, please share with us material values, yupta!"

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №111256
 26.03.2015
Shorts, shorts for the baby.

____________________________
Tagged with 16861

The shork...

I was wearing, wearing and going to wear a ski suit in the city when I go out to walk with my child in a wheelchair in the winter. 3 hours in comfort and warmth. What does it matter how my poop looks?! to

shork shork
_____________________________________

Did the complainant not try to walk with the music in the headphones? Nothing is heard, and the world is beautiful.

Well, and I will add, I myself came from the island of Sakhalin, so we sometimes had such darts and so much snow that just a ski suit was supplemented with ski glasses and masks. And nothing, everyone was satisfied with everything and everyone understood everything.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №111255
 26.03.2015
to this.

and naive:

You will be surprised, not just establishing the fact itself as such - it also entails all the consequences in the form of parental rights and responsibilities, maintenance obligations on the child, etc.

This is one of the most important things in the world.
Absolutely logical fact for those who look at the sides. Our world is just a feminist paradise. Man in the modern world is virtually deprived of rights, unfortunately.
_____
I have the slightest naivety. I wrote. And surprisingly, it was apparent to the one I answered.
As for you, this is not a violation of your alleged rights by alleged feminists. This is only a way to force you to bear the duties that you wish to glorify and shake away from responsibility.
"Sunul got out and went". The child? No, I did not do it.
Typhus...

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №111254
 26.03.2015
Here is here:
This is the case.....
Voice ligaments are just two stripes of tissue that close the airways when we swallow.
This is the case.....
to stumble? The respiratory tract when swallowing is closed by the surgard! Do not read such articles and in general resources where write such nonsense.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №111253
 26.03.2015
Just happened.
I will sign a contract with the courier service. Under the terms, everything is okay, but there are some nuances and I ask you not to send the contract yet, wait for my delivery and, when necessary, send it to the office at the N-address.
Call to cell:
This is the courier, open me down.
Where is below?? to
- I call you at the home phone, you do not open, calls my home address.
Who are you and from where? I did not order anything. Who sent you?? to
I do not know. I will look now.
... and? Who sent you?
It’s not written, I don’t know.
Documents / Agreement
by Faceplam. The company fell asleep at the first stage, not yet starting to work. I asked to cancel the signature. He politely refused to cooperate.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №111252
 26.03.2015
We sit with my husband at night, watching the second season of the series "Vikings". The protagonist with a pathos says to his grown-up son, who has just crushed his first batch of enemies: "I call you Björn Ironbottom!"The husband responds with the following phrase: "In short, he called him the tea man".

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №111251
 26.03.2015
Today I picked up the lifehack of the day from the hubr:
XXX: Usually the fourth dimension on my fingers I explained as follows: within a two-dimensional object of the type of a circle we can easily get a finger from the three-dimensional space, similarly in a three-dimensional closed safe you can get from the four-dimensional space.

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