From the culinary website:
Since some people get nervous when cooking rice, worry about their rice, it is very important not to give in to the temptation to interfere with it.

So came the cook with a nervous look and sweaty palms, and over him the demon: "Well, stop the risk! It is good!"

Smoke, you are shit.
WOW :?? to
Yesterday I was supposed to go to the cinema with a girlfriend, then count at 4 o’clock. He got up early, washed himself up, decided to go to the aska. Offline message from you.
BG45DS-FE5GHR-KW82GD-GE5NA???))
Oh yeah, that fucking key from the fucking bitch of the fucking second starcraft. Thank you, but I don’t have a girl anymore.

Yesterday I went with my brother on his double.
XXX: at the pedestrian crossing we stop, miss as required
xxx: and here some 20-year-old fool thought about getting up and eaten so and on the phone still cheats. He looks at me, tell me, wait.
The brother waited and said:
xxx: "fucked fool... where is my turbo button?"
xxx: and pulls on the lever of the glass washer
xxx: and the sprayer he put the opposite two days ago to lily ahead, not on the front glass
XXX: Kaaaaaaak figured four streams :-D
xxx: hit only two, but the girl accelerated by 9000 percent at once
It’s hot xD
We went on, we went on :D

How would...
Customers are better than me, especially smart, each other today. They made coffee...

In the kitchen, all the dishes are filled with dirty dishes. I say to my wife:
We had finished the clean dishes.
We have finished with empty bags :)

Email of correspondence:
X: Hi ladies and gentlemen! We are "XXXXXX" manufacturers of confectionery products. I would like to receive from you a price offer for film packaging, in particular a film transparent.35mcr, and a pearl 35mcr 5 colors. Under the cookies. Dimensions: width 190mm, height 250mm. Also indicate the minimum batch. With respect, Askar
Y: Hello to you! We, LLC "YYYYYYYY" does not produce film packaging. For you, we can only design a factory that will produce film packaging, or design a warehouse where it can be stored. We apologize for not being able to help you directly. With respect Alexander.

Did you take a session on sparring? Did you download your diploma from the Internet? Have you finished the universe well and now you don’t know what to do? Come to us! We have a plan for your life. Career, family - fully scheduled goals and deadlines. Models and individual solutions. Not very expensive.

A couple of criminal law. Theme "square" Prepod (man of the 60s):
Let’s take girls of easy behavior. Can their services be described as bribery? I agree that not. For there is no material expression: you can neither touch, nor take, nor taste.

Such a complete sympathy voice from the back:
You just can’t use them.

XXX is hello. What do you do?
YYY: I went to YYY!
XXX: How long have you been busy with this?

Look at the picture from the window:
There is an excavator, and next to 3 Tajiks drop a hole and drop the ground into his coffin. Russia is...

To discuss the last film of N. Mikhalkov:
The "Russia Do you hear that strange sound? Three Mikhalkovs on you!" (c)V. Gaft
The epigram is obsolete, the number of Mikhalkovs is multiplying uncontrollably.

The last time I saw this thing when with the words "The main thing is not to lose!" I put it somewhere...

When I was 9 years old I heard the word "sperm" on TV, well, and, of course, asked his meaning from my mother, which my mother answered without shallowing - it's ejaculate, son. What this is will teachers tell you.

MaAd: Go with a girl, and also with a friend and his girlfriend on Iron Man 2.In the hall there is a gallery, because the advertisement before the beginning of the film.And here is finally the beginning, in the hall of silence, all calmed down, on the screen appears the inscription "Iron Man 2".The phrase from the mouth of a friend sounded pretty loud in the quiet room:"Man-outyg!!!A little more than 15 minutes later the room calmed down :DDDD

Topic on the women's forum: "Women are married to the cowboys? How do men deal with such a disadvantage? Even if the headache is expressed. Can you give some examples?"

One of the comments: "When the mine is fun for such ears to hold: o)"

The people’s response to the ban on blue veils.
One day at one of the special garage cars in the traffic jamming just cut a mirror.
Since the attackers were moving on a scooter, the driver of the car could not catch them.

Krasnovsky: By the age of thirty, a woman has such an ideal of a man, under which any fool fits.
Soon you will have every chance.

The shirt snake.
The shirt snake is one of the most dangerous species of snakes in the world. It has no teeth, and on average its length is 12-17 centimeters, although there are individuals reaching 25 centimeters in length, the color varies - from pink to black. Usually, the panty snake attacks women in the inguinal area or in the mouth area, and its extremely dangerous poison can cause a tumor that lasts for about nine months. Some types of pantyhose snakes can also attack men from behind.

If a person lacks a lot, he simply does not know how to catch.

Neighbors came from the United States to host their parents. They talked about life, about science.

They met in Baumanka and got married. And in the late 90s, after the release went to America on the invitation, to move science. The money for the grant was enough for everything, but the first thing still naturally arranged for sub-works.
He placed food on the shelves in the supermarket after closing. She was very good with English - she was a waitress at the cafe-bar in the evening shift.

And here she works somehow – paid attention to an elderly man. He had been sitting at the table at the window with a notebook for an hour and decided something. Something did not work out for him. When 15 minutes remained until the closing, she overcame her immigrant embarrassment and approached to ask.

Uncle calculated the dependency of the field tension on a pair of variables.
The task is quite in the spirit of the latest Baumanka courses. She naturally calculated it all quickly and gave it with a charming blonde smile. The uncle was just shaken and left without pronouncing a single reasonable word, carrying a notebook with the decision in his outstretched hand.

The second time he came to her at the cafe with a bouquet of flowers and a large envelope.
In the envelope was a scientific journal on radio-thematics, placed with a smaller envelope on the page with its publication. The basis of the work was precisely the dependence of the field tension on these variables. in the envelope.
$1,000 is approximately half the average publication fee at that time. Under the article was the signature: "In co-authorship with Elena".

The magazine and the badge with the name of the cafe, on which the name Elena is written by the flowermaster from the hand, are still carefully kept as a family relic.