We are a web studio, well, and then briefly about the sick. (I will immediately tell the most adequate customers, but they are not interesting to read about.)



Q: Good morning, we are a large legal company, we also deal with accounting. We want to make a website with these functions.

I: Okay, if about such a site will cost X money

Q: We will arrive at 17:00



With a quiet soul, I go to lunch at six o’clock, bring a spoon to my mouth, and there’s a call from the office. “Customers come back to you” Ok, I go back, the main thing is to make a deal. I am met by a man and with him a companion with a pre-prepared unhappy look.



Q: Well what did you say the site will cost X money? (A different example is much more expensive)

I: This site will cost XX money it is more difficult.

K is MDA. You disappointed. Do you have a fee for each?

Do you have all the legal services at the same price?

Q: We may be pleased, but we need to go out and discuss. We go down to the first floor to have a coffee and make a decision.

I: Okay, I’ll wait for you, please – call even if the decision is “no” so I don’t wait for you.

Q: Of course, we are business people. (speaks the client’s companion with an insulted view)



It takes 40 minutes to call the client.

I: Tell me, are you still down?

K: No, we have already gone.

Why didn’t you call me, I’m waiting for you?

Those are the business people :)

Aist lost a child over the cabbage field, twice offensive, little that he lost, as well as the competitors.

He heard on the radio "bayon" in Kovalchuk's performance about Wikipedia, the Internet and electricity.
I remember a story that happened 20 years ago with one of my acquaintances.

He studied at the Meh-Mate of the Moscow State University and worked as an admin on radio-msu.net. He was inherited with a bunch of unmarked "bands" in them. I had to do an inventory. Tracking where the "strings" were laid was not possible. Therefore, he acted simply: disconnecting them one by one and waiting for who (from which department, from which room) will call and report problems with the network. Having received a "telephonogram" - glued a marking on the cable and turned it back into the port on a swipe. He says many people have called again and thanked for the quick solution to the problem.

If I were to be returned to the morning of the third grade, then the song “Be Beautiful is far from being cruel to me” I would speak louder than ever, and not just silently open my mouth.

He inscribed his 40-year-old friend for the first time to take part in the 10km race. Such an event where you run 10km and you are given a medal for not dying moving from point A to point B, regardless of how long you ran.

A long-time friend, although he is engaged in the sport as a fanatic. After the race, he was unimaginably excited, began to call everyone, telling about his unusual adventure:

- Hi, things are okay, the men entered the race on the tenth (*a rather pathetic intonation)

(I have not heard the question from the other interlocutor, but I can guess it.)

I ran, it was cool!

–...

Yes, some have been overtaken!

–...

No, not for the car.)

Take your companions on the way to work today. In the front seat is a 60 year old woman, a family friend. A young couple, aged 20 years.

And in the conversation, the wife of her deceased husband called the master. And after another time, the young girl decided to make a comment, such as low to call her husband the master, such as underestimating her importance and role. In the 21st century, everyone is equal and bla bla. She calls her chosen partner.

The woman smiled and said, "My husband built a business zero, bought his son a house in Spain, his daughter in the capital. All passive income from the rental. I got a good retirement. He is responsible for everyone and helps even after death. He is the owner of the family. And while you’re just tr... call yourself partners.”

The couple kept silent all the way and thought about something of their own.

In ancient times, when I was small, every summer my grandmother took me to the country for the whole summer, and my grandmother's cat always went out with us for the company. He was there well and volatile, mice, birds and cats. After all, when my friends and I were playing the daughters of our mothers, sometimes a cat was stuck in diapers and put in a toy wheelchair. The cat was patient, did not use nails, but at the first opportunity tried to wash himself. And here one day one of my friends, tired of catching my grandmother's cat and she offered to use her cat as a child, well, and assured us that he is calm and she will not run away. We went to her to the site and she pulled out of the house a crushed carpet, the cat just slipped out of her hands, like the paste and struck to slip out of her hands, but in general from overweight to escape did not try and lay in a wheelchair and without a fixing diaper, just covered with a blanket. And here we happy with the new "toys" went for a walk around the country village, telling all the neighbors that we have a baby there, all of course was pleased and accompanied us with a smile. And then we got bored and we decided to play the classics and put a wheelchair with a cat nearby fascinated by another game. And here we jump, what we are discussing, how suddenly the wind blowed the wheelchair, and it was on the hillside and the wheelchair with the cat very quickly gained speed and went down, I don't know, that already then experienced that cat only the wheelchair with the cosmic speed was already somewhere far, and we were carried as stunned trying to catch it, but fortunately the wheelchair stepped down to the bottom of the mountain without turning over gradually stopped. We ran to her, looked at her, and there was a cat sitting with the eyes with a five ruble coin, he saw us, grievously blinked, looked at us and jumped out of the wheelchair and despite the large weight showered sharply, and as a gift to us he left in the wheelchair a good bunch that smelled disgustingly and we long argued how to remove "this" from there. Since then, we have not played with her cat, as it ceased to be given to her, and after those "American hills" three days did not appear at home.

A neighbor in the hostel after graduating from university began to live with his girlfriend. I come home to them, we sit down, we talk. They have a cat at home, and here he jumps onto the bed. A friend’s girlfriend brushes the cat back on the floor. The cat turned around and went back to bed. This time, the girl caaaak will load on him! The cat flew away. I say to her, “Why are you so, he’s still small?” He said, “You do not understand. Cats need to be taught while they are young, because with adult cats then there is no sense. This is called “discipline.” The sooner, the better.”

I look at a friend, and he sits quietly in the corner of his bed and is silent. Much more disciplined than before.

I bought a motorcycle via the internet. He came to pick up, and then the owner suddenly goes back, saying he does not want to sell. “I’ve been driving it for three years, I have feelings for it!”

“Your feelings, and what?”

“I want to find him a good master, and you’re too fat. He will hurt.”

Oh yeah now!

There was a friend calls and asks to go out with him for a meeting with two girls like her one reference, and he has no desire to care for two. Well, we went to meet - we met and here a friend crumbles to call, well okay go call, we are talking and suddenly I notice a departing bus in which my friend is sitting.

I got acquainted with the girl, in the photo is not bad, in communication too everything went well, in time decided to meet. We talked about place, time. I came to the desired subway station, I go to the place and when I am approaching decided to call that girl to ask where she is, because in the place I do not observe her, in response she tells me that it is going along the care (she does not see me) and I see that place well, well, I said, "I do not see you, you see that fat man in a leather jacket?" After these words, the bell breaks, the “thick man” unfolds and leaves... well you understood – it was she)))

As it turned out later, the photos were five years old, and from the fresh only a photo with a face.

He studied at Meh-Mate MGU and worked as an admin. They inherited switches with a bunch of unmarked "bands" in them. I had to do an inventory. Tracking where the "strings" were laid was not possible. Therefore, it was simple: disconnect them one by one and wait for who (from which department, from which room) will call and report problems with the network. Having received a "telephonogram" - glued a marking on the cable and turned it back into the port on a swipe. Many called again and thanked for the quick solution to the problem.

To think that an economy can be pulled out by effective managers is about the same as to think that wars are won by saboteurs.

All this vanity around the Telegraph reminded me.
He served in the Far East, the television received Chinese programs. One day, individuals came and knocked the buttons on our ancient Rubin. We found China on the 6th button. They got the solder, spawned the mood resistor from under the 6th button. have gone. We shrugged our shoulders, twisted the fifth button, set to China, and continued to watch. Not that there was something very interesting there, just from the principle. So we live :)

“The authorities of Saudi Arabia created a ‘Women’s Rights Council’, but women were not called into it.
There are no animal rights organizations. :)

Someone from the United States sent a package to my parents. Clothes, shoes and all kinds of tastes. Among other things there was an interesting set for my mom - pants and a T-shirt. Black in white small peanut, made of a very pleasant fabric. My mom really liked this dress set, decided to keep it for special occasions. And this same case occurred. Their company had a corporate in a very decent restaurant. Mom dressed up in this set, added accessories and for the evening received quite a lot of compliments for her image and for the suit in particular.

After the enterprise, she called her sister and began to thank her for such an elegant outfit, for which everyone praised her so much.



Her sister began. I didn’t send you any clothes. Describe it, I might remember.



Mom began to describe this costume as accurately as possible, but the sister could not remember anything like this until the last. And here it shrouded her.



This is a pyjama! She laughed.



Mom didn’t believe at first, and then looked at the set and could already recognize the pyjama in it. After that, she only slept in this suit and did not go to restaurants. But the compliments from her colleagues she still remembers. Probably, if you are irresistible, then it doesn’t matter what you wear – in a chic expensive dress or in a regular pyjama.

Once fifteen years ago, a drug barrier was struck in front of my eyes. Ušlepok, less than 25 years old, on all the offers to surrender the supplier only horrorized.



They did not even promise to release under subscription before the court, and not to close in the Court of Appeal, to shake the deadline, and so on. The criminal replied, “A year is not a term, two lessons, three nonsense, five nonsense.” I will remind you, the case was a decade and a half ago, before any AUE is still far away.



The first one, filled with thief romance. It is said that behind the fence are respected authoritative people, etc.



And then the major, who at that time seemed to me very old, in fact he was a little over forty, tired so he lifted his head from the papers, looked closely at the bar and quietly said:



Imagine you are going to the area and there are all your buyers.



After these words, the scammer suddenly changed his face and melted them all.

Just when I was going to school in 1st grade, my mom and I moved to another district. All my friends and acquaintances from the kindergarten stayed at the other end of the city.

On September 1, I went to the first class. In the first four parties, someone was already sitting, one or two. So I sat alone on the fifth party hoping that a girl would sit next to me and we could make friends. Sitting with Leah. A large bouquet of garden flowers. He silently ate a flower tree.

Why do you eat a flower tree?

Is it a flower tree?

I: Yes

I thought it was a crap!

The late autumn. I am standing near the house, heating the car, cutting the snow from the glass. Lexus is parked nearby. It turns out, a solid uncle, sixties years of age - hollow, with a professor's beard, glasses in an elegant fence, a coat. He smokes. From the back door, a grandmother with the appearance of an aristocrat comes out, behind her a four-year-old boy, cheerful, energetic, with the face of a speaker. While the grandmother was struggling with the bags, the boy, with knowledge of the matter, runs to the frozen grove and begins to slip on it. Uncle does not react, silently smokes, lazyly observes him – like an army general for recruits.



Probably my grandfather and grandmother took my grandchildren for a weekend, I thought.



And here, as they say - according to the law of the genre, the ice breaks, and the boy is immersed in cold and dirty water with his whole body. Tears and sweat. The grandmother throws the bags, rushes to him, pulls out of the pit. Uncle didn’t even shake up, stood up, looked at all this ugliness, tightly stretched, breathed out desperately, and said in chief bass:

Artemika, I think it’s time to fuck you.

A young courier came to work with us. A week later, he came with flowers, went to the production department, on the bottom floor, gave a bouquet to one of the employees, kissed the cheek and went to work. He meets him in the elevator. and security. He said, “What a beautiful bouquet you brought today. And who is Mary? Be careful, she’s married, you know? She also has a child! Do you know too? After a few days it became clear that the courier was her brother :) Troll from God)