What is Spring 2.0? It’s when the flowers and other greenery under my window in the shore are ripping out of the snow...

If you want to look like a professional – always say "nuow, it was predictable", right after THIS happened.

Valko
Directly on the topic of Omsk cheese

Omsk is a tough city.
Earlier this week, a thief struck one of our Greffov shopping complexes.
He broke the glass... While it went down, it was all cut off...
Bleeding into a Sex Shop... Eat Viagra...
He pumped a rubber grandmother... During the operation she broke out of him...
He was upset - went to rob the other departments... where he was caught...
Only a rubber member was from the kidnapped.
Yesterday, the security guard showed photos from the scene of the crime...
Atlanta is
and shoot :)

A friend writes:
When I was in school, we were asked to draw, for example, seasons, patterns, natures... and now what? Yesterday, my son had to draw at the ISO class "The ocean bottom after a nuclear explosion".

Uncle and Brrr! At our dog forum, the girl asked: “And the exhibitions in Crimea now are to whom to relate – to the Russian Federation or to Ukraine?... I came to the moment when the moderator has already removed the first 200 messages of the flag.... and where is this world?
The most injured was an innocent girl, who was banned for 2 weeks for burning a flame.

From the Game of Thrones discussion:
I had the impression that the author had a perverted passion for describing food, weather and clothes. In order to get someone to read about food, weather and clothes, he had to insert more intrigue, violence and sex.

Comments on one news site to the news that the Yellowstone volcano is awakening:

Two weeks after the sun hides in dust clouds, the air temperature on the earth's surface will fall in various parts of the globe from -15 degrees to -50 degrees or more. The average temperature on the Earth's surface will be about -25 degrees.

YYY: That is, not changing the tire for the summer?

NNN: Yes, I’m also drunk... and sleepy... and warm.
Heat me with your apple.
Tagged: oh, warm

I lived somehow in a shelter and among all the other neighbors were (m)am and (d)ocha, and they loved to scream (really roar on the edge) from room to kitchen through all the corridors:
M: What did I tell you? Let’s clean up now!
D: Mom, I’ve gotten it all and gotten it in the shell!
Q: What about the tobacco? Epto...
D is broken! Ma...
Yippidy yi yi yippity yay. This... WILISAPED put behind the calidOR! Outside the wall, you can’t fuck! I will throw my mouse out!
That daddy!
M is?! to
D is P.
Scalper is ungrateful. I’m there, fuck, I’m talking. Go clean up here quickly!

Years have passed, but I can’t forget. And "pop-food" was the first time I heard of them.

<Gzews> And I remember here with one sweetheart I met by chance. We talked a long time about Sam. Then it came to me that we did not present ourselves:

I: What is your name?
She is Eva.
I am ("electronic" voice): And I was Vaallll-Iyi!
She is: Uff! How did you get me all, idiots?

She doesn’t talk to me anymore.)

"A cat is an animal guarding the prey and a dog is chasing"
Y. Dmitriev, "Neighbors on the planet"

I used to drink coffee 3 in 1 at work... now I bought myself coffee, sugar and dry cream.

From the hubra, the post is called "People do not need a drill, but a painting on the wall".
by Kibizoidus:
People do not need a painting on the wall, but comfort in the house.
People do not need comfort in the house, but a sense of tranquility.
People do not need a sense of tranquility, but security.
People do not need security, but the opportunity to extend their race.
Drilling is the best way to maintain your instinct of self-preservation!
VoVanJinn
The Fuff! I had already thought that you would write the last line that Drel is the best way to extend the family.

Post about pulling out a bowl from a metal bowl. The commentary:

How to properly make a submarine?
We take a titanium bulb 25 meters wide, 200 meters long. Put it vertically on the Earth's axis, center it. And from space from a special tokar satellite carefully cut the inner cavity with a cutter... "

Hubble, article on space:
"Once I was in space education, I always wanted to know what would happen to a human being in the open space. The option “he will die” is not offered. For example, what will happen first: freeze, stifle, or break the vessels from internal pressure?
“This is what will happen: first a person will go to the International Space Station, then fly to the Chinese Tiangong station on the Soyuz, then he will experience hallucinations, return to Earth and receive the Golden Globe and 7 Oscars.
I think it will happen, there are precedents.

The road to the bright future may be a ring.

Go to the box.

On the first day, the old man was reading a book standing by a small window, where it was brighter.
He laid it on the window, laid his elbow on his stick and carefully licked the glossy pages, then the matter was stolen looking around.
Not a library, but a bookstore.
The young saleswoman, not waiting for the old man to read and leave, felt pity and brought him a wooden pencil.
At first, the grandfather desperately protested and refused, but then he still sat down and thanked him warmly, because he stood at his age, and still for several hours in a row.
The saleswoman asked, “Just try not to get in the eyes of our head, she doesn’t welcome the bull-reader.”
Grandfather, though he promised, but still struck.
A platinum blonde, forty-five years old, passed by, she stopped, stared at the reader with an abhorrent glance, unhappy with her head and left, nervously squeezing with spikes.
A couple of times passed by the proud guard of the store, he tried to interest the uninvited reader, but the pride did not allow him and the guard left.

On the second day, grandfather again came to "his" thick-walled book, only the attack nearby did not appear, had to read standing. That day he even rewrote something from the book into his little notebook.
The seller greeted and asked to read carefully, so as not to spoil the look of the product, the book is inexpensive, and also, at least a little off the shelf, so as not to blink on the caravan paths of the head.
But sooner or later, the inevitable steel bars struck - a platinum blonde appeared on the horizon again, and by the official tone of her voice, it immediately became clear that she is the head:
- Dear friend, we don't have a reader room here, if you chose a book, please go to the box office.
Grandfather was confused, like a schoolboy who was caught with a cigarette, and guilty smiling, timidly objected:
- Yes, I would love to buy it, but a very expensive edition - 1740 rubles. Please don’t chase me, I’m very, very careful.
I understand everything, but that’s not the case either.
The platinum blonde turned and left with tight sponges.

On the third day, the wooden stroke was in place, the old man without invitation sat down and, as always, immersed himself in the reading of “his” book, but there came a young saleswoman, greeted her and as if justified herself, said:
Unfortunately, you can’t read here anymore, because of you, I’ve gotten stuck.
At this point, lightly in mind, a platinum blonde emerged from the shelf and said strictly:
-Gala, did you make me a bookshelf here again?
- All, all, Tamara Palna, he is already leaving.

The host took a three-kilogram book from the old man's hands and passionately and energetically leafled it, causing some wind. It was some sort of a thousand-page historical folion about the Romanov dynasty.
The manager looked at the seller and said:
“Go, Galia, work, I’ll do it myself.

Galia left, and the platinum blonde took the book by the corner with one hand, and... suddenly pressed her fingers. The book collapsed into the abyss and hit the floor very painfully.
Grandfather whispered, he even rushed to try to catch her attack, and where there, only his stick dropped and the homemade wafer eroded.
The manager raised the book from the floor and cried out loudly:
and galia! by Galileo! Please come here.

Galia returned, the headliner pointed to her at the bended corner of the book and said:
- Look what we have here: the corners of the turmoil and the superblock are exploded. Is this the last copy?
– Yes, Tamara Palna, the last one.
- Then take it and form the "uncondition", put 120 rubles.

Tamara Palna turned to the old man and asked:
120 is okay. Yes is? Well, this is good, for health.
Go to the box...

Petya’s boy hit the worker’s fingers with a hammer and got five. At least he heard so.

An old experienced rural doctor asks a young colleague:
How is psychosis different from neurosis?
The young man begins to call symptoms, feverishly recalling the institutional course.
The old doctor listened carefully and then said:
It is very simple, Daddy. With psychosis, the statement "2 + 2 = 4" will cause a light smile, and with neurosis - a strong anxiety!

From the 1st of April, Dear Members 

by Antonina (11:46) :
Well really, I direct my flow of consciousness to wish all good, all living beings on earth))

by Antonina (11:46) :
I am alive and do not want to.

Kicked (11:47) :
I do not offer you so live. Kill it first 😉