bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №111050
 23.03.2015
Thermal protection is good.
But nothing gave an experienced administrator as much as a "tete" sitting on the terminal servo by a local user.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №111049
 23.03.2015
A acquaintance told me.
The year was 2004. The man (the surgeon) comes to him, says, say, a new man bought, knocked, but the computer does not work. They begin to understand. Koresh sees, the proce is new, but the existing mother should not go. What for Hera? How did you get him here? Well, how, simply, there was an extra number of legs, hindered, so I bite them to the harams! And after all, he bite so that if you don’t know, you’ll guess they were there. Surgeon, fucking, just to squeeze something.
Thus, for almost 500 overseas money, he became the victim of a surgeon.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №111048
 23.03.2015
Teacher of English on request help: I don’t seem to have any familiar teachers of Chinese, but I’ll ask. For myself, I would recommend movies with Jackie Chan as methodical material. The main points are to learn to scratch the eyes like him and generally carefully monitor the mimic. Mimic is very important, it can pass up to 80% of the attitude to the interlocutor.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №111047
 23.03.2015
Mazenrad: We have in the field the head of the plot on the name of Tarakanov. And then somehow to him with the inspection came a responsible representative gen. Organization by the name Booth. They ride, therefore, on the UAZ-ik throughout the field, and everywhere they appear, the degree of tension increases: everyone walks in helmets, nobody smokes, everyone in signal vests, etc. And they left the next object and disappeared. Everyone is in panic, can't call, where to meet them with a showcase is unclear. And here, one test did not stand and on a common wave in the racy asked: "Who knows where Tarakanov and Booth?"
Alex: And what then?
Mazenrad: What is it? You ask your wife out loud, but louder, does she know where Tarakanov and Booth are?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №111046
 23.03.2015
And also our generation remembers that cucumbers, tomatoes, watermelon and strawberries - they are very different in taste.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №111045
 23.03.2015
This morning the cat pretended to ask a cat soon.
She got a countersex, she showed her.
The cat recovered immediately.
Miracle drops, acting only one way.
They had to be buried in a cat.

PS then their husband barely dropped in the nose, barely catch out time, but it is a little bit.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №111044
 23.03.2015
Delivered this morning. I get up on the red at the crossroads, in the left row (I am on an average of 3) flying out of the "nine", which from the columns (judging by the sound of 10 times more expensive than the car itself) delights the whole street song Moonlight Denetsu, introductory from the Sailor Moon mule...

[ + 27 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №111043
 23.03.2015
He spoke with one frame on the topic of the space race of the USSR and the United States. I was surprised to find out that the first Soviet satellite was blatant, because the Russians made a rocket based on stolen German drawings. At the question "Why did the Russians manage to make the missile faster than the author of the drawings?" the answer was that Werner von Braun was shot.
Oh yeah: Gagarin is also shameless, because the Americans were the first to launch chimpanzees into space.
And all this was said to me with the expression of the face of a-la "How difficult it is to explain elementary things to fools".

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №111042
 23.03.2015
The psychologist at the reception persistently characterized the dislike of domestic affairs as a sign of a creative personality, according to the results I feel at least Leonardo da Vinci, or there Michelangelo. If you scratch the houses in the barracks, the Sixtine Chapel is excavated, and it's quite possible ;)

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №111041
 23.03.2015
Q: How did you walk yesterday?
YYY: I can’t remember almost anything! But there is one borrower ;)
YYY: I met a young girl, but there are 21 already. I asked him in the morning, how did I repair it?
XX: Yes, you’ve gotten to ask everyone.
YYY: Yeah, I invested a half-year salary in him if he did. But I am about another. So here, she said that!! Attention to!! Very comfortable kitchen. I fall!
Q: When is the wedding?
Fuck how you understand me ?
XXX: Fuck how I understand you (

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №111040
 23.03.2015
We sit for breakfast.
I: Lenka, what about life as a whole?! to
A: In general? Damn, but I have a big sandwich, which means life is temporary.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №111039
 22.03.2015
You and your clothes have already blinked your eyes incredibly! In fact, nobody said anything. In reality, research has long been conducted and data has been obtained that people work better when they are comfortable - i.e. compulsory heels or other clothes that block movements negatively affect the productivity of the employee. The same with the freezing of offices - it was previously believed that people in a cold office were more alive and exhausted, and it turned out that everything was exactly the opposite - for optimal performance a comfortable temperature was needed. Well, the fact that some of the chiefs of Ebla are a Kabbalah news from the past millennium. Ah, yes - advisors to be fired from work, if people don't like something, it is better to push their tongues into a point - there is their place. So there are ideal vacancies around "choose - I don't want", these people are just stupid, ah.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №111038
 22.03.2015
My dad told me about his youth. He was engaged in bodybuilding for a while. And there was one of them: 2 meters in height and 135 kg in weight. And this guy loved to play chess.
Someone comes into the stall and sees a painting with oil. This stangster is sitting behind the chessboard, and in front of him is some kind of Harry Potter, tiny, small, all so narrow and in glasses, as it later turned out some champion in chess. And this champion breaks out on the topic "Here chess is a sport. This is what I understand." On which the stangist flegmatically, without breaking away from the contemplation of the board, says: "If chess is a sport, then onanism is heavy athletics".

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №111037
 22.03.2015
It would be better under the fans of all the “Hands Up” collapsed the floor. Regardless of weight.
------------
Be careful baby. Maybe they are your parents.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №111036
 22.03.2015
I have two burned pots.

5 villages, 3 tanks and one aircraft carrier.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №111035
 22.03.2015
When the neighbors from the top start dancing or the moving games of their beloved neighbors are sitting, in the hearts I curse: "Oh, that you fail!" Then I think where they will fail, and I remove the curse.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №111034
 22.03.2015
to this:
xxx: The girl came to us at the gym today, she said her goal is to weigh less than the dollar rate :)
I think she won’t need fitness soon. You can boldly go to the bakery.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №111033
 22.03.2015
Before you do anything, turn your head on.
I turn it on, but it’s empty.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №111032
 22.03.2015
I ask my husband to do homework on the weekend.
He says "shah, wait, the knot is interesting. I want to see what happens".
Romeo and Juliet are watching.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №111031
 22.03.2015
I even dressed like a lambersexual in defense of my dissertation: jeans, a flannel shirt and a folded beard!
And a healthy new tail to have something to protect?

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