bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 122 - ] Comment quote №46552
 27.04.2011
by NoTime:
I also remember.
Did he tell like you?
In the summer, I went out to smoke, dark even though the eye was shaken.
I hear a noise from the bathroom. I picked up the light, slowly.
And there’s the noise... well, you know, it’s like Freddie Kruger’s fingernails on the pipe in the movie!
I have lived!
I go to the bathroom, dark.
with the light bulb... the shadows fall into terrible patterns, the pool whispers.
And the whirlwind does not stop and disperses from the darkest corner!
I just did not think.
Which only wolves did not introduce, twigs, witches, households, devils...
No, it turns out to be in the copper basin two eggs went away.
Fucking there.

[ + 73 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №46551
 27.04.2011
The Hat:
Gender is a genius. I think he can sell the city, the air and Monday. Today, customers have issued an invoice for two devices that we do not produce, they are not yet neither in development nor in production, there was only the idea to make such devices... no sets, no circuits, no firmware, there is only an idea...

The Hat:
He sold them fucking!!! to

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №46550
 27.04.2011
<xren> how do you do, Andrew?
<Exp3rT> I'm going to watch the movie
<xren> What is it?
<Exp3rT> No, with my eyes...

[ + 76 - ] Comment quote №46549
 27.04.2011
And our secretary is printing spam (!) And he brings him admin with the words "This is to you".

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №46548
 27.04.2011
My girlfriend smelled, I said I was sitting at work.
He calls back a minute after he put on the phone and tells me.
She says, just agreed with me, she looks, my car is driving with me!!! She told me I was lying.
I followed, I found myself driving my brother (like me).
Now he declares to me, “I don’t love you anymore – even though you haven’t done anything, the precipitation remains!”

[ + 77 - ] Comment quote №46547
 27.04.2011
1111: Do you want a new device for 320?
2222: wowowowowowowowowowuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuw
1111: It probably means Yes Late!!! to
1111: There is even an amplifier of the wheel!!! to
1111: The Thief
2222: The wheel becomes stronger and refuses to turn?
1111: Armsling of Nakh

[ + 106 - ] Comment quote №46546
 27.04.2011
from the category "women are such women"
I came (I) to a school friend (P) (10 years friends), and in tears
I was abandoned by Max.
What do I usually call a fool?? to
P – No, I am him, now he doesn’t call.
Call me, let me talk to you.
P - it's not, let the first ring (and she's almost stuck in tears)
Okay, I drank tea, smoked (minutes 30 passed), I sat down at her computer, and there in the window of the barrel pieces 30 messages from Max and so many VKontakte, I say.
I’m Kate, you’re here Max Sam!! Writing
P – I know, he’s already 2 hours as he writes.
So why don’t you answer?? to
P – What else, I did not find out in the ASC relationship
OK, I think, even if I look at what he writes, I scroll down and there
"Katy, including the phone, I need to talk to you!!!!and "
Women are such women...

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №46545
 27.04.2011
Tomorrow is the end of my personal life.
Is his wife coming back?

[ + 78 - ] Comment quote №46544
 27.04.2011
zzz: You reminded me how we went to the clinic 20 years ago, to go through the military commission. tk. They didn’t come in time to the military.
So, with me and Lehoy went Oleg. He was wild, not to say how, afraid of the dentists. And on the approach to the dentistry, he was already whiter than cream and shrugged at every shooche... And the doctor, an old lady under 60, was caught. She, cleverly licking, grit – “Yes, I’m not going to do anything... I’ll look at the electricity... I’m generally looking, I wrote something in papers and sent it to the office, for example – a surgical one! and :)
You would see Oleg... This already ghost-like creature, seeing nothing and hearing nothing around itself, was doomed to enter the surgical. And there, a surgeon - an uncle of a small size, looking at the doctors' papers, broke us with Leha for the injection, and Oleg for two. It turns out he had to remove two teeth on both sides.
So, we sit, wait for the injections to work, and the nurse asks Oleg what? He took her "ugua", she decided to clarify the type from which side and said "what does it take", and he made her so sincere and sincere - "feet!".

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №46543
 27.04.2011
For one night, I fall asleep with thoughts: "Bgg.. no, let these problems solve tomorrow's Theme"

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №46542
 27.04.2011
Probability Theory for Teaers:
In the subway, on the run, on the phone, the probability:
- encounter and accidentally kiss a beautiful girl - alone on a dohuya
- encounter and accidentally kiss a marble column - one to one

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №46541
 27.04.2011
My friend sent me a SMS:
Christ will rise tomorrow at 12am.

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №46540
 26.04.2011
by 20.04.11
Hi to
Hi to
What are you doing?
I sit watching TV.
- understandable
from 21.04.11
Hi to
Hi to
What are you doing?
The cursor writes
- understandable
by 22.04.11
Hi to
Hi to
What are you doing?
I eat home from school.
- understandable
by 23.04.11
Hi to
Hi to
What are you doing?
I prepare dinner.
- understandable
How is it?
by Hero
Why Why?
Because I have to communicate with very predictable people every day.
- understandable

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №46539
 26.04.2011
XXX: I take off the boat;)
A shuttle?Do you want to get in touch with Agatha? ?

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №46538
 26.04.2011
In the courtyard of May. there are shootings, eleven classmates shoot from the position of lying. Because of the high grass they are not visible.
Teacher of Military Training (UVP):
Could you cut the grass before shooting? The men do not see the target.
Colonel: Next time we cut it out. We’ll crack when the President and the Minister of Defense come.
PS: When are they coming?
Q: Usually at this time, every year.
UWP: They come every year, and you can’t get there?

[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №46537
 26.04.2011

10 reasons why it’s bad to watch a lot of porn:
1) You start to compare all the girls you know with the actresses and the comparison is not in their favor.
When meeting a girl, you think that now, according to the script, she should start to stick.
Slowly dress up.
You are very surprised when you see her breasts and realize that they are smaller.
2 of Arrows.
4) You are very surprised when instead of a deep mine you get: "You are mad - he is disgusting."
You are very surprised when, after the beginning, instead of long breathing, you hear phrases like
"Not there, the impasse", "You are already there? ", "Well and...? andquot;
6) You are very surprised when instead of shouting "Yes, YES, DAA" or "No, please don’t so loud", you get "Maybe faster? andquot;
7) You are very surprised when a girl does not agree to anal sex, but offers you to swing.
Put yourself in the ass and tell as impressions.
8) You are very surprised when instead of effectively swallowing sperm, or, in extreme cases,
To wander her on her body, the girl says, “You will slicing yourself afterwards.”
9) You are very surprised when a girl is negative about the offer to invite her girlfriend next time.
10) You are very surprised when the girl then wants continuations, such as theaters and restaurants.

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №46536
 26.04.2011
and XXX:
TROLLEIBUS->AUTOBUS for TROLLEY xD

by admin:
I only ride on the roads. (more...)

[ + 50 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №46535
 26.04.2011
How to attract a man, knowing who he is by the horoscope?

Aries – Deep decolte and mines.
Taurus - Deep decolte and mines.
Twins - Deep decolt and mines.
Cancer is a deep decolt and mines.
The Lion is a deep decolte and minette.
Virgo is a deep decolte and minette.
Weights - Deep decolte and mines.
Scorpio is a deep minette and decolte.
The shooter is a deep decoult and mines.
Capricorn is a deep decolte and mine.
Waterman - Deep decolte and mines.
Fish - Deep decolte and mines.

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №46534
 26.04.2011
Where does the world go! I broke the channels.
by REN TV:
A Russian stripper broke into Google’s California office and tried to accuse them of sending her letters calling for suicide right into her brain!

O_O

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №46533
 26.04.2011
I am a girl, my stomach is no more than a finger, so all the alcohol I drink is placed right into the brain.

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