bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №90745
 07.12.2013
Mda, I play Black Coat, started, there is a screenshot, I loudly declare: ''I am a horror flying on the wings of the night!' and here, fucking, on the telephone: ''...I am the new Mazda-three'..

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №90744
 07.12.2013
The sufferer :

It’s crazy to be a guitarist. When choosing snacks in the store, you have to think not about what I personally want, but about what the smell of my guitar will be. And the fish usually stays in the store... ((
__________________________
Brother, I’ll tell you a secret, but PS... no one understood it!
There is one thing called soap. You may find it in the same store. And so in general, it should be sought in household chemistry. If the fish is smoked, then you may have to wash your hands with soap not once, but two or even three. But it stands. Use it.

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №90743
 07.12.2013
C on Facebook:
Yuhanna has said:
Warning about online shopping.
Be extremely careful with them.
If you want to buy something, carefully check the reviews of the seller.
I spent 450 bucks on a member enlargement.
Those fools sent me a lump!! to
The instructions for use contained only one sentence:
'' Do not use in bright sunlight'

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №90742
 07.12.2013
Varenje: And then I realized that the ideal man is one who either supports the proposal to have an enoto, or asks where to have it.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №90741
 07.12.2013
From the discussion Engineer Valve gathered game controllers for the buttocks and tongue:

The second controller, designed for the tongue, must be placed in the mouth. It is assembled from a layer on the sky, to which an optical sensor with green backlight is attached. Presumably, objects on the screen can be moved using language movements. A special key on the language gamepad can be programmed for any game action.

Three months of playing on this controller and your wife will not leave you anywhere.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №90740
 07.12.2013
In fact, the victim:

The victim:

xxxh: I here understood the true meaning of the expression "harya crushes"
by mmm?
If even after a month of crazy sex with a man you do not heal your scratched lips...
HH: That is it.

I won’t even try to imagine what you looked like the first day after these madnesses. I will not think about specifically which lips it is (in any case, it is the PZDC).
But what is it that has taken away your ability to regenerate from everything else?! to
__________________________
The genital herpes.
In the windshield to you, friend, ((

[ + 30 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №90739
 07.12.2013
She complained to everybody how tired she was by the end of the week and how poor legs slide to run every day on the path home-work-study-home. On Friday evening, while washing two-kilogram old grinders, tired and pencil. And here the spark is shrouded.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №90738
 07.12.2013
wrong you, Uncle Fedor, the topic of the off-topic, you immediately change the topic diametrically, but you need to gradually, so it will be more imperceptible)))

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №90737
 07.12.2013
by Vitaly 14:43:40
I decided to do something I don’t understand at all.

by Jan 14:44:16
Going to porn?

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №90736
 07.12.2013
Announcing the New Year’s Eve in the Office.
The result was 10 bags of garbage (newspapers, magazines, unnecessary prints, etc.)
They were bound, placed in the corridor, called for the help of the male sex from the neighboring department to bring this "good."
The men decided to stick up and told the director that they were bringing out papers in addition to bottles.
The director without thought asked:
Why did you go into the female garbage?

Who has touched whom?

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №90735
 07.12.2013
What are our plans for the evening?
We eat dinner and then we go.
She: By the way, we’re talking about
These days have come...
She: In general, you Astrologers announced a week of mines...

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №90734
 07.12.2013
[18:33:06] Artem Rudnevsky: While the tests on the Continius Integration server are being driven away in Villaribo, in Villabajo everything has been shattered and bugs are being scratched

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №90733
 07.12.2013
I become cynical and cruel.
I was in Ikea today. Before the entrance a fairly long row for parking of disabled cars, which clearly says the frequency of signs. There is a dense range of fairly decent cars without the corresponding stickers. It turns out that either people with disabilities are very assured and independent, or people are cunning (which is much more likely).
The authorities are trying to do sluggish body movements in this regard, but that is why it does not help.
It was thought that it would be fair to make these "life-threatened" disabled to finally legalize their parking in these places. Thus e. If the mountain does not go to Muhammad, it will be the opposite.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №90732
 07.12.2013
The most vulnerable part of a married man is his wallet.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №90731
 07.12.2013
C hasra about bitcoin:
xxx: Interestingly, did they not count the real price of the dollar? Let’s look at their calculation method.
yyy: According to calculations by the Bank of America, the real price of one US dollar is approximately $1. The calculation method is secret and will not be announced.

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №90730
 07.12.2013
Daddy is a wallet.

In "Terremka" again exhibited a beautiful box "For letters to Santa Claus".
The sellers, guessing about the possible content of the letters already dropped there, remembered the history of last year:
A 10-11 year old boy went to the store immediately after school. With the words – “Let’s see” – he threw a letter into the DeMorozov box and left.
Before the closure, a stunned father ran into Teremok: “Where do you have letters to Santa Claus?”
It turns out he didn’t have time, coming from work, to change clothes at home, the son said to him: “Let’s see if there is Santa Claus or not! I sent him a letter.”
The father carefully asked how the letter was sent and ran to us.
The girls took a letter from the box, asked the father's name, and gave it.
Dad read: “Dear Santa Claus... Mommy – a cosmetic... Daddy – a wallet... Me – Mansuna...”
The girls! What is Mansona? Do you have?
This is a toy - a hero of the cartoon. We have a thousand two hundred.
Let it go!
The father paid and said, “Why do I need my wallet? I will have to buy...”

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №90729
 07.12.2013
In the event of danger, the frogs throw off their tail, the karacats release a cloud of carcass, and a golden pistol falls from Chechen deputies.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №90728
 07.12.2013
Correspondence from corporate chat:
<aaa><*> Please do not use Scotch and other adhesives when decorating cabinets for the New Year - TRUE WASKING TREADS!!! to
<bbb><*> stick on a nail or twist on a cutter.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №90727
 07.12.2013
He found his worn socks in the middle of the room. I think, since when did I start throwing things away? No, it is okay. The wife was in there.

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №90726
 07.12.2013
I removed the password from wifi. It was renamed halyava.prinosi pivo v 125kv. Yesterday comes a 17 year old neighbor and extends 100 re)

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