bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №121333
 02.12.2015
Destroy ISIS from the inside. We need to introduce our officials into ISIS and introduce the practice of oil withdrawal.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №121332
 02.12.2015
I am a girl (D)



Please give me a small towel.

D: a small towel is placed for customers coming at least 4 times a month

I: OK, I have a schedule - once a week

D: Only one visit has been recorded on your computer this month.

Today, December 2, I came here for the first time.

D: I can’t help anything.

I: You probably won’t be here for long.

D: (surprisingly) yes, I was just arranged for winter, how did you know?! to

[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №121331
 02.12.2015
I went to the archive and noticed something like this. When there was no ordinary computerization (the 90s), the paper was LESS a few times. Annual archives, for example, for the year 1992, can be raised with one hand, but for the year 2003 can be raised alone.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №121330
 02.12.2015
have survived. At the time of registration, the age was higher than the actual age. Look at how weird I am, not the others. It has already become real in the institute.
And now on a fiqbook in the questionnaire I wrote that I am 14 years old. Don’t think that this adult writes such nonsense.

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №121329
 02.12.2015
Zuckerberg's new father will give up 99% of Facebook shares.
Mark 99% sounds better and nobler than Nikita 1%

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №121328
 02.12.2015
To your mini-sracher about marrying an old man on a young woman.
In one old French book, the author suggested that the desire to marry a virgin has only one practical meaning.
You know you were the first because you can’t be sure you’ll be the last.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №121327
 02.12.2015
Heard from my grandmother at Sberbank: Well, once you go to Turkey, Egypt is not possible, you will have to go to the hospital.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №121326
 02.12.2015
C of Habra:
<...>Because the OMON began to run around, and there is a sign that if the OMON runs nearby, they can cut off the light.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №121325
 02.12.2015
Per it’s because we’re accustomed to bothering and we’re accustomed to hiding tears?
This is how you get out, and all around spit. Swim yourself and go home. to cry.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №121324
 02.12.2015
(in the film the phrase emergency code, sounds like an emergency cat)
Where is my emergency cat?
I went out to eat urgently!

[ + 35 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №121323
 02.12.2015
At work, a relatively new colleague (working with us for a couple of months) - from the breed of great experts all over. Teaches lawyers how to make contracts, guards - how to correctly check passes, the assistant boss explained that the capsules for the coffee machine should not be ordered where he orders, but elsewhere... I do not know if he teaches those living on the territory of the courtyard to target the fence, but I will not be surprised if so.

Recently came with some question to us (the department of translators), bypassed a colleague sitting at the entrance on the "horrible Russian accent" in English. Then suddenly realized that a colleague is a foreigner, translates from English to German, and practically does not speak Russian at all, somehow quickly left, without sharing wisdom.

I haven't seen him for two days, so well, so calm!

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №121322
 02.12.2015
(In the post a comic about the hunts and about them a conversation took place)
XXX: these dwarf dwarfs in my country had to eat paint and solvent! I come - and there is an open bank of paint, and there is a happy green bark on the site. I caught him and ran to the veterinarian. The doctor shrugged over me, and said that I was cheering at the fact that the paint is toxic, he only repented a little, and he eats it in order to smash on needles and get rid of fleas and ticks. In the end, I dropped that shit where I got it. after a couple of days - a dozen green oaks (correl, frog, lead) were shot on the site, leading to a heart attack of the local alkasya. Then these spires also and the solvent somewhere overwhelmed, which is why the color of the herd began to resemble a spotty camouflage.

[ + 21 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №121321
 02.12.2015
At the age of marrying a young, and even a virgin in terms of eternal loyalty is just incredibly stupid. After a number of years, the male libido will fall to nothing, while the young woman will just start to peak.
The free advice of my father, take advantage of health:
To not be afraid of betrayal, you need to marry decent people.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №121320
 02.12.2015
The service. A call from a customer who brings us the equipment for repair. The masculine voice:



How to go to you?

This is the address. And who are you, what luck, the item of the product and the claim number name?

I am a taxi driver. I was told that I was Natasha!

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №121319
 02.12.2015
I am looking at vacancies in the specialty of Emergency Doctor.
The site servicefully gives me similar vacancies: assembly home of simple lunches.
A subtle hint where I can go with my specialty.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №121318
 02.12.2015
Today I found out my debt list in the universe. There was an epic phrase:
I did a deep epilation of the intimate area before the session. There’s nothing to do with your ass"

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №121317
 02.12.2015
Leafy is out.
Over Russia was deployed Air France aircraft, following flight AF128 from Paris to Berlin. According to preliminary data, the cause of this was the vibration of the engine. The decision was made to land in St. Petersburg."
- Pepe... these EGE victims at least looked at the map!
From Paris to Berlin it would be more convenient to sit in Voronezh and seek asylum.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №121316
 02.12.2015
My friend has a dead pope.
What kind of poppy was it? The big?
No, the inseparable one. He lived alone for many years. Because the second indissociable is himself bitten!
- that's all I wanted to know about eternal love and monogamy)))))

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №121315
 02.12.2015
Zadolbayke 18972, or the sister of Crust.

No one argues that there are a lot of motorcyclists (which is a lot, I am not mistaken if I say that the majority) who respect both the PDD and other participants in the traffic. But there is a very noticeable percentage of crusts, which are the complete opposite of the first. It is they fly on the separator, regardless of the sides, they appear from nowhere, ignoring both lighting signs and pedestrian crossings. Their fault is a lot of accidents - most often fatal to them. It is they who believe that a motorcycle’s roar is to demonstrate crudity (in fact, just to be noticed by other drivers) and chase the sleeping areas at night.

I know that adequate motorcyclists don’t like them too – but they often stand on their side in the event of a conflict. And yet... most of the participants of the movement spread their rejection to them on all who sat on the “two-wheeled horse.” In any case, any motorcyclist is expected to at least a subwoofer.
Take it as a fact. I have nothing more to add.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №121314
 02.12.2015
Preparing for exams is a shit.
Just sneezed, I said to myself "be healthy" and for another two minutes I thought who desired this health to me.


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