bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №125176
 07.03.2016
Let us think. Here, say, offer me a salary several times more on the condition that I will work the same time more intensely, it means more tired, it means more time to spend on recovery... That is, in my personal free time I will not engage in some of my pleasant things (read, draw, communicate with friends, spend time with family, etc.). and etc.It is stupid to get rid of stress at work. Why do I need money in such a way? Buying antidepressants? No thank you.

The most desirable thing I would spend any money on is my free time. And, in fact, working behind the sleeves for a small salary, I buy it.

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №125175
 06.03.2016
Everyone chooses a segment of the world and creates their own private world, often silently isolated from the rest, so that after some time its creator begins to seem as if he has understood the meaning and structure of the whole.

Carl Jung

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №125174
 06.03.2016
XXX: The Hollow Idea
XXX: Auto heating chair
The Japanese have long
The life-long feeling that someone has been joking here before you
YYYYYYYYYYYYY Why did you say that...?
You can no longer go to the toilet in expensive restaurants.
YYY: Yes at home. Stay alone sitting. I wanted to fuck. You sit and the seat is warm.
You are the last man on earth.
YYYYYYYYYYY
XXX: The New Shortest Thriller

[ + 19 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №125173
 06.03.2016
"God is not" and "the Bible-a collection of Jewish fairy tales" - phrases for which in Russia today the term shines.
Will they come after me for this quote?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №125172
 06.03.2016
And why are you all silent about "I remember those times when..."?

I remember when in kindergarten we were given mandarines for the new year, we then ate crustaceans from them with no less pleasure)

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №125171
 06.03.2016
Dano: Pork sauces have been removed from the menu of German food to avoid insulting refugees.
The task: to calculate the speed of Hitler's rotation in the grave.

XX: Was he not cremated?
YYY: This is not the matter.
XXX: Well, just the task is not solved then...

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №125170
 06.03.2016
The Philosopher! What is the form of the verbs in Chukovsky? Did they all run away, laugh, wash and others?
I am a programmer! Remove my headphones.
HHH: You don’t know... I’d say so and there’s nothing to worry about right away...

[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №125169
 06.03.2016
The sphere of it evolves very quickly, you do not move forward, you turn back. What we see here. While others make money, you regret yourself. I have everything.
% of
Are you a clinical idiot or just a masquerade man? If a person lives in a provincial city in which the named salary is the industry standard, then WHERE should he evolve? If in the city, in fact, and in the commercial structure, and in the factory, the admin is paid to the ceiling of 25 thousand, even a steeply steep admin - WHERE does it evolve? Can you come and show me? and? 3.14 the bag is not wrapped.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №125168
 06.03.2016
From the news:
Three bags of phalloimitators and erotic costumes, as well as a rubber ass, were stolen from store owners in Almaty. Why the thieves needed such a specific product is unclear.
The Stone:
- Rubber ass and three bags of phalloimitators - a set for darts in Kazakh.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №125167
 06.03.2016
Develop a tool that will be safe and without harm to the potency to make a man temporarily infertile and then talk. It is easier to stop one egg per month than millions of sperm per day. In women, everything is cyclical and it is enough to break down the cycle at the next stage, and in men, the continuous process can only be completely stopped.

Let your daughters break the cycle, and they gather and strive for it.


[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №125166
 06.03.2016
The husband recently got a job, where all the management are former military personnel.
One day I asked how the women’s colleagues congratulated.
"Thank you very much. At 12 o’clock, we were all ready and congratulated. and :)

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №125165
 06.03.2016
The opened file cannot be moved or renamed. I lie here and seriously think, and what is more offensive for the file: if you close it and it does not see where it is carried and how it is now called, or vice versa: closed, so that when transferred not scratch or how not to hurt...

No drugs, no alcohol, no flu and 38.8 on the thermometer.

[ + 15 - ] Comment quote №125164
 06.03.2016
The next day, the guards just sent the lady home to change her clothes.

You are harsh there. And without a shift and a diary also the guards "send" can? Or only when it comes to their erotic fetishes? Does the boss also go through the fake control? I wonder what kind of company this is.

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №125163
 06.03.2016
XXX: What do you give to the doctor? I am confused. Are you already shaving?
YYYYYY: Yes I have a shave.
Zzz: Are you running on her leash?
YYY: Every time on the edge!
Zzz: So you need to give a woman Android.
Better than an iPhone. No one will look at her.
zzz: The Iphone woman will only be interested in other women.

[ + 20 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №125162
 06.03.2016
"Apple leased a former Pepsi factory to work on its own car"
...
Will we soon see a car on one wheel, with a touch screen instead of a steering wheel, which will drive on a gasoline?

[ + 29 - ] [10 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №125161
 06.03.2016
Bulgaria is an amazing country.
In the First World War it joined the Central Bloc — and he lost.
In World War II it joined the fascists — and they broke up.
In the Cold War, it entered the Socblock — and it collapsed.
It is now in NATO.
Let us believe that the brothers will not fail.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №125160
 06.03.2016
I am on the train. I bought beer. 200 Re for a bottle. I understood that drinking in the train is not drunk. The real majority.

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №125159
 06.03.2016
The noise. No employee will work twice as well if he starts paying him twice as much. What’s more, if you offer a worker: I raise my salary twice, but I’ll make him be honest – for a couple of months he will try, and then scroll back into the contact.

Why do you take unemployed people to work?
Not to pay initially.
And then they wonder, how did they do that? No one works.
Added three rubles and still does not work.

[ + 14 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №125158
 06.03.2016
Contraceptive pills should be for men. It is more logical to shoot in the hole, rather than shoot in the armor.

But when it comes to their sperm, you can allow interference in their divine white fluid that is spilled out.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №125157
 06.03.2016
A member is an assistant member. Please forgive me, but the person is absolutely normal and decent (not a deputy, a friend, of course) - the work is combined, and the money is nothing, but it goes.
He tells today:
The call. Grandmother is God’s stumbling, the voice is barely heard: “The spring has begun, we would have land and a fence from the deputies.” I stumbled, but I began to understand the matter. It turned out that the residents of Khrushchev ask for a machine of land in the common yard - to plant flowers - and to guard the green with a leather fence so that "these addicts" do not shake. I’ve gotten it out, but the joke is already born.

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