bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №110210
 04.03.2015
We are talking about a gift for girls on March 8.
This Friday we will have to congratulate the girls. Who has any ideas about this? Calling a cowboy stripper?
Art Director: to repeat? Let’s call the stripper again =) It will be unexpected.
I like the idea of a stripper.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №110209
 04.03.2015
"And for a day "to change the order", which must already be made by this time - it is yes, you would not have rallies, you would be on the production, the whole world would be widespread."

I worked in polygraphy - if we were then brought an order - "Wat-it-it-photo-ch/b-1000 ex-format A3-time-supplement 200% of the total amount of us!?" then after 2, a maximum of 3 hours order would be fulfilled.
just take any spoiled risograph, it squeezes a file with a photo (if it is quite ancient and without a computer interface, then we squeeze the print from the printer) - and forward, 30 copies per minute + time to recalculate the bubble.
Arguments, shit, like in children - will equate with the finger and, like, all disputed.

And for almost a day (more accurately, in the period from 10 in the morning, when they brought the order, until 16-30 when I gave it to the customer) we made a congratulatory address in a single copy for the federal official on the order of the regional administration - a layout, text, digital printing in the side salon - it was then a rarity, such as a 3d stitch - and silkography "golden" on the floor. And yes - all the ranks were moved, and we clinged and pressed there, and what do you order if the DR official suddenly happened?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №110208
 04.03.2015
[13:58:37] Cyrus: Fear of fifteen years
[13:59:00] Alexandr: after the expiration of 3 years ceases to be a boy
[13:59:50] Val: and becomes a historical record

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №110207
 04.03.2015
Chel with the sport is not friends at all, plus sickness, fever.
I said to him, go skiing.
He said, “I’ll just throw away the bowls...

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №110206
 04.03.2015
I was looking for fun instrumental music for the party.
It was "Jewish music. With no words."
5 minutes of recorded silence.
O_O

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №110205
 04.03.2015
Response on the socket to the acoustic system 2.1

Plus: Norm columns, indeed, were less expensive before.
There is one minus here. The situation - at night can turn off the light, when it is turned on, the columns first start in BT mode, connect to the iPod and turn on music themselves. You wake up in a cold sweat.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №110204
 04.03.2015
The room is unheated, there is almost no light, there is a small house.
___________________________________________________________________________
Room with _home_, sheet, she should also warm up?? to

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №110203
 04.03.2015
xxx: <reference to scientific article>
xxx: The functional dependence of the resistance of the conductor on the shape of its cross section is required
XX: You’re obviously more joking in this matter. Do you have 10 minutes to explain what’s going on?
YYY: What is it and why is it to you?
xxx: The boss said to make calculations with different sections – circle, square, David star, triangle, etc.
XXX: This will be an article on Confucius
yyy: Agah, the conductor with the section "David's star" - approved by the castrum.
zzz: This section is made by a rabbi and does not work on Saturdays :-)

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №110202
 04.03.2015
How right you are!

But if you compare the chances of sex, an hour with a prostitute is cheaper than going to a movie with a creature who doesn’t understand what’s in his mind. Especially in small towns.

If you are interested in SEX ONLY, you are just to the prostitutes that the head shake (what sex there, though, will be without feelings - a surrogate, at best, but somebody will come down). In the cinema and the cafe go closer to know the other as a person - they look to see if they want a relationship with him. Boys don’t need sex, and that’s clear. Girls usually, although not all, do not need sex without a relationship - cut a chip?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №110201
 04.03.2015
Tired of relationships.
You say you have to be yourself.
You are self-sufficient, but for some reason. It is boring for the opposite sex.
Well or not boring, but somehow not.
They tell you to change, to do something.
You start to change something.
You are interested, Vuelta has a result
You are not comfortable with it, it is not yours.
So in a circle. Years of.
Salary, membership, apartments and other calculations are not included. No stress anymore.

I sincerely envy those who manage to stay on their wave and have a companion of life.

Spring to all!

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №110200
 04.03.2015
I remember brought an ambulance singer one famous with very heavy bleeding (I have a gynecologist, I worked her nursing practice at the department). And here she was operated, everything is fine, and there are no separate chambers. No and all. The resuscitation of severe patients is occupied by the department and says to us: girls, put a catch with her near the post. The eye from it does not go down, in the morning there will be a place in urology, I will arrange to transport it there.
The night. And suddenly, this dozen, begins to get out of narcissism. and crazy: I attach her and whisper to a colleague:"Run to the anesthesiologist, or God knows that she will pull off..."
While she was running and waking up, our sleeping beauty was completely separated and will sing for the whole department!!! Shock: And I was young at the time, I was scared, I covered her mouth with a palm, I whispered not to sing, all foolish. The anesthesiologist comes and says to me:"You woke me up, right? I (in horror): "She sings! that my whole department will rebuild!!!" He:" I don’t see any problems. She sings beautifully, right? "I:"Yes, but loudly."He:"Don’t worry, the volume will be reduced now, you will put it to the office, I will listen...or you will wake me up, sleep as never before"...

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №110199
 04.03.2015
XXX: Please tell me how much is a canister of bla-bla-bla (18kg)?
YYY is 11950r.
XXX: You can make an advance payment, thank you.
YYY: The Investment Account. Write when you pay the bill.
Sorry, I won’t take you too expensive.
YYY: Why did you need an account?
XXX: It was not clear for kg or for piece.
YYY: And if it was for kg, would you pay? It can be counted at 11950. For kg...

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №110198
 04.03.2015
Citizens who eat foreign foods will have to register as foreign food agents.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №110197
 04.03.2015
With a good man and living pleasant and divorce too, and with a fool-something out of chaos.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №110196
 04.03.2015
A ban on the consumption of beef in India

The consumption of beef in India is declining, but the export of this meat is growing, reaching $5 billion a year.

YYY: But they don’t eat them, just business :)

XXX: Oh, this is a good thing.

Yyy: And Pakistan probably grows pigs, barter...

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №110195
 04.03.2015
She depicts that once you invite her, then have fun and pay.
– – – – –
Of course, if you invite her, you amuse and pay. When you’re invited, don’t you bring chicken and salad with you? Except a pre-ordinarily arranged package. If you do not want to pay - do not invite or book individual bills in advance.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №110194
 04.03.2015
What wording should I use for acquainted men to repair a computer/pick a nail, etc. To be understood correctly? I am afraid they don’t understand me (

"The connector broke, I got 500p / cognac / (something other materially valuable) for concern". And in general, there have long been masters who professionally do this for a small amount of money. It is unwise that acquainted men think - you still need something that for money is not yet offered.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №110193
 04.03.2015
Remember the fucking. According to the Soviet classification, a troll is not a fool, it is a nest.
____________________________
Well what you. The troll, a real troll, brings people out of love for art and for the sake of the triumph of the mind. And she is a gnide. Well, the comparison with the fool is also incorrect, the fool is also a fool in Africa. Was the rzhevsky of anecdotes or the same sweat of butterflies or nits? and never. But here the trolls around considerably, especially the last.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №110192
 04.03.2015
Known for its original proposals, the MP Milonov proposes to introduce a tax on tourists - on the maintenance and reconstruction of what they actually come to watch.
Or maybe, instead of collecting fixtures for the repair of the Failure, put Milonov in the transition from Hostin's - the "Lord", submit to the current member of the city Duma?
He will be guided and guided by:
To the right is the Hall of Fame, and to the left is a living deputy standing, and what he lives and how he got there is unknown. And the people are wild!"
He, of course, will be hard to say that he hasn’t eaten for 6 days, they won’t believe. But the money in the treasury will sink, and Milonov will have something to do.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №110191
 04.03.2015
The Russian government will ban working in the prosecutor's office for mentally ill people.

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