bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №95192
 12.03.2014
The news:
A great request to dog owners. Please stick your phone number on your necklace. This will help you with the loss of your dog.

And a huge request to the guys. If you liked the girl - come to her, not write to the admin, put it, yesterday at 115, saw the girl. Help me find"

Commentary :
A great request to the guys who liked the girl. Please stick your phone number on her necklace. This will help you to find it anywhere in the city.


[ + 51 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №95191
 12.03.2014
And one of our neighbors did the repair, so he deliberately walked through the nearest neighbors, found out who when the children sleep, who when from the shift, whose grandmother goes to bed early. And the schedule made up at what time it can be drilled. Two months of repairs, no one complains.

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №95190
 12.03.2014
<xxx> if you remember, in the old version of the engine with each jump accelerated the movement forward
<xxx> so, it was written on this spider, very sharp.
<xxx> since then the engine has been updated, and now the game began to deduct from the forward motion vector some value at landing, so as not to accelerate.
<xxx> I’m going to go back and forth.
<xxx> it became clear that the deduction was from the view vector

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №95189
 12.03.2014
BIGZLO: And with "Friendship" I am not friends after a trip to Kiev.

She ruined and ruined you.

BIGZLO: Yes, after two cheeses in the train, I was like a dog the next day in Kiev. I met every corner.

Solo: Yes, you are the pioneer of the Maidan – Kiev was embarrassed before it became fashionable

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №95188
 12.03.2014
Maidan and swamps are arranged precisely when they do not like such laws, according to which the next nonsense does not give neighbors to live, because according to the law it has the right.

and----
Laws are needed for that, that in different people the concept of "living neighbors does not give" - different. And there will always be a man who would go out and beat his mouth for being awakened at three o’clock in the day by a hump of cats, who is insulted by the sight of naked people seen in the binoculars of a house five hundred meters from him, or removed by a radio amateur in the neighboring entrance. This does not mean that it should be legally forbidden to make any noise at any time of day or night, there should be a law that obliges everyone to wear a trio at home, and every radio amateur must be displaced to the countryside for one hundred and one kilometers.
It is impossible to completely avoid repair work in a residential house.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №95187
 12.03.2014
xxx: we are sitting there discussing a new solution to the old functional, and so it turns out that here is a coffin, there is a coffin and then on the list...
our programmer: fucking, it’s already on development, it’s some sort of orthopedic!

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №95186
 12.03.2014
I talked to another child’s mother:
She: Tell me, do you feed your child with sausages and sausages?
I : No
She: Not at all? Is he a vegetarian?

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №95185
 12.03.2014
The chief speaks to the late subordinate:
Why do I see happy faces of those who are late?

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №95184
 12.03.2014
On the issue of children...
The wife left, the daughter lives with me (in court), goes to the kindergarten, sometimes with me to work, for an hour and a half... I work in a car service, a car electrician. But I will not ask for maintenance, because I can maintain my daughter myself, and I do not want to see her!

The Friend! How? Did you get a child in court? Tell me!
I also want my kids to live with me, not with this stupid shit!

[ + 13 - ] Comment quote №95183
 12.03.2014
HHH: In general, fucking, I’m cuddling. I am home. Seven hours. And the sun is shining in my room, well, shut up! The Spring!

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №95182
 12.03.2014
xxx come soon. I cut off the chicken.
How did he burn?

[ + 29 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №95181
 12.03.2014
"The gray fog has descended on the swamps, where they are waiting for their tattoos..."
So my question arose. What are they waiting for? My aunt has to have a tether. And then what are they waiting for when their aunt is waiting for the deaf?
This is the same thing....
Where do you find the expression “deaf”"? The dwarf is a large species of teterev. Of course, it would be more correct to call the female glue or "deaf tetter" (which is the name of the "cowboy"), but, apparently, the author did not like it or did not fit in the size.
In addition, the females of the gluhairs can really cross with the teterevas, so it is possible that the song is about interspecular connections X)

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №95180
 12.03.2014
X: Bro, I’ll have to sit down when I’m at work. Drink beer and eat fish. Filed to:Hz
Go out with your porn.
XXX as you want (
xxx: I in vain jumped out the new season of Sasha Grey and the Sanitary
If you were to invite Sasha Grey.
YYY: not jumping
If I called Sasha Grey, I’t call you bro, forgive me.
xxx :D
YYYYYYYYYYYYY

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №95179
 12.03.2014
There must be a lot of good people, and a lot of bad people, so that they can’t go through the door, shit!))

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №95178
 12.03.2014
of Ukraine. A clear sky, warm wind. Full harmony: spring on the calendar, spring on the street, on the heart, in the shower and finally in the country. A feeling of something good and good. And here on all the screens appears the face of Yanukovych:
Did you miss me? Are you missing me? Did you miss me?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №95177
 12.03.2014
I have a good experience of standing in the rows of the Russian Post. Two branches often appear not wrong. Smart grandmothers take a line at once in several windows, such as which line will fit faster.
and virtualization. On one physical core for several virtual backs according to the number of processes available.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №95176
 12.03.2014
What is the Kuni Gnus?
The fucking guy! Is it Cunnilingus?
What didn’t happen to Shelley right away? (from rofl)
Couple: I thought it was what kind of mosquitoes were attacking cows.
Filed to: fuck
I am under the table.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №95175
 12.03.2014
Denis: how is "normal" in Kazakhstan?
Eldar: I don’t know
Eldar: well = jacks
Eldar: bad = damn
Eldar: huevo = huevo

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №95174
 12.03.2014
Kogdp you watch the newly sounded Soviet cartoons, somehow you sharply understand what is different in the school drama from the "Sojuzmultfilm".

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №95173
 12.03.2014
Inequal Marriage, Holst, Oil, 21st Century

The stupid story this week ended.

I sit in the office, something on my monitor, knocked on the door, and a girl entered. Twenty-five years, no more, long blonde hair, milky.

Are your bags sold here?

This fabric is as packaging as bags of potatoes. We sell it, although we sell everything from our warehouse in the suburbs. But some advanced buyers from time to time manage to grab somewhere our legal address, periodically appearing in the office. Obviously, it was one of those.

There was a standard dialogue for such cases.

- Sold, girl, but in stock and wholesale, at least a roll of 100 meters.
What if I only need 10 meters?
- Then not to us, look where they sell for meters.
– So I’ve gone all around, nowhere... – she breathed. Maybe I’ll sell it, I need it.

I don’t know why I didn’t refuse her, usually we don’t cut those rolls at all. Per because she spoke, unlike such visitors, somewhat polite. But most likely I just liked it. Such, do you know, a nice type of girls, without that, fashionable now, that most years from fifteen already demonstrates. Somehow very modest, but with taste dressed, which, I don’t really remember. It happens that when people have a taste then, you do not immediately remember how they are dressed. In something like grey that went to her blue eyes.

- Okay, I say, - here is your cell phone, if you do not find anywhere, call tomorrow at eleven, I will be in the warehouse until lunch, something is possible and we will come up with it.

She rejoiced, recorded the number and left.

The next day, in the usual workplace, I forgot about her, but at exactly eleven she called.

“Well, let’s say, until lunch time, I’m here.

I explained to her where the warehouse was and somewhere in half an hour she arrived on a maze-matroska. There was a guy behind the wheel, but the faces I did not uncover, the curtains, which for some reason now put on the front glasses, interfered. And for some reason he first walked past, then depicted something like a sports turn, and again flew past the warehouse, stopping ten meters from the door. I am not surprised by this clown, now many simply can't ride, stand out in a flat place.

The girl went out, and he was still sitting in the car, adding music.

We went to the warehouse with her and I, rolling up the roll and descending on the corks, began to measure the bag. Using our foldable meter was quite uncomfortable and I asked to fill the pause:

Where do you use it?

- On the decoration for the wedding - she silenced and breathed - the wedding designer in a rustic style makes us, it's like in the country. A sachet table is laid, and on it the food is in clay dishes. Other tablespoons will be wooden and bouquets with wheat.

Do you have it at your wedding? I was surprised, why are you so sad, don’t you want to get married?

She smiled, and maybe it was time.

Or maybe, I decided to joke a bit, you have an unequal marriage? Remember the third picture?

- Well, yes - she barely smiled again - probably, yes, uneven, they are rich. They hired the designer. Ta says that the main thing is not to scroll in the country, rustic and country are different styles. Country is rough, brutal, and rustic, although provincial, but refined.

Her last words sounded somewhat deaf, forcing me to raise my head.

The girl was crying. Large, transparent tears slowly rolled over her face, clearly one after the other, as if some silent timer was working.

That was what I missed here. I got up, took my nose cloth and stretched her to wipe tears. Something had to be said, but what to say in such a situation was absolutely unclear.

- Don't worry - I tried to somehow reassure her - everything will go well, it's just before the wedding, everyone is nervous at this time, such a period. You are not getting married, right?

- My mother and I are expelled from the pension - she cried loudly and wiped out her eyes - my father died, we didn't have time to re-form at the factory. My mother has not been up for six months, she is sick.

“Mazda” signed impatiently three times.

"We need to go, about the cars to negotiate - she seemed to have calmed up a little and returned me the t-shirt - he wants the limousine to take us black, and behind him two jeeps on the sides. And that no one is left behind, as the prince was at a wedding in England.

When I imagined Prince Harry not allowing a crowd of cars on the main streets of London, I couldn’t stand it, and I stumbled.

She noticed and also smiled a little, but somehow sad.

"Sorry, please, I don't know what happened to me - she got my wallet and gave me the money.

Having taken the money, I wrapped the cut piece of cloth with scotch and stretched the resulting clutch.

“Thank you,” she suddenly moved forward and suddenly kissed me in the cheek. For a moment I even felt how delicious her hair smelled.

Outside her bridegroom once again swallowed something Spartacus and a couple of times swallowed in.

We went to the exit, where she, taking the delivery, said goodbye and headed to the car.

And they left. We left to meet our future rustic wedding, bringing with us a dozen meters of our, as it turned out, exquisite baggage, and I remained standing at the door of the warehouse.

My thoughts went into my head something incomprehensible. There was a strange feeling of something, like to say, wrong. I wanted to smoke, although I quit a long time ago.

What happened before, is not my business.
But somehow the girl became sad, to be honest.

This is a stupid story.
by robertyumen

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna