bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №110070
 01.03.2015
From Habr:
I often find myself thinking that I live at the right time but not in the right place.
You have not lived in thirty years.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №110069
 01.03.2015
But the buttons are lacking a lot. On the 16671 shirt, no one can find upper clothes with -25, except the shirt. And he will never find it, unless he ever on the way of life a professional server tourist will not meet, who will understandably explain to him that single-layer clothes for such temperatures are especially meaningful to wear, and several layers, starting with a thermal underwear and ending with a not-so-volume dense jacket will protect the same, weigh less, space will occupy it twice less, and the temperature range will be wider than the shoe, because to remove or add an extra layer as a nephig to do. And so far this man and like him are unaware of many achievements of technical and other advances in clothing and hang the closet with another mould feeder for the next 300 days of the year.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №110068
 01.03.2015
Peskov: “Nemtsov was not killed by us, because he is not dangerous to us.”

Does that mean that those who are dangerous to the Kremlin are killed by the Kremlin?

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №110067
 01.03.2015
Well, you have already stumbled - the answers for zadolbali post here

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №110066
 01.03.2015
In the morga go to work absolutely not because of the acute sensations! Definitely because of earnings. This is, to your knowledge, a medical specialty. Both a forensic expert and a pathologist is a higher medical education. And compared to the salaries in medicine, I can quite calmly, saving a little, buy myself a bowl. I already bought the apartment. It is hard to work here both physically and morally. So your assumptions about mental development and assumptions about the psyche - leave it to you, you are absolutely incompetent here.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №110065
 01.03.2015
Top 3 dubious compliments I’ve heard in my life:
Third place - "woman-calorizer"
No, well, I understand that I am a fire-baby, but I have not heard of such an interpretation before.
2nd place - "Buhenwald Crickets"
Some people can hold me up with one hand.
1st place - "You have eyes of the color of the sea wave... Well, with water slugs"
No need to comment XD

Men, you just make me happy! Just burn it XD

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №110064
 01.03.2015
What should life be at home if a person is dragged to the mountain, to the cave, to the cold, to dangers and difficulties? The BR! I have a cat!"
___________
Another opinion that has the right to exist. And I am a decent girl, learnt 11 classes, having a very caring mother, and peaceful friends. Graduated from university, drinking sometimes on holidays, but in moderation, for all the years one guy fell asleep drunk in a chair, and so - even no noise, no adventures and failures in the memory of anyone. I started living with the same quiet guy, married two years later, we live. Work, home, sometimes a movie, a cafe. All is well. And I don’t want to enjoy life constantly, every minute, but to get into the storm on a small ship, so that the waves crossed through the deck, and I would get stuck in some shell, standing under the choking rain, and barely holding on my feet, watched the long rope-bound sailors around, and felt alive. To experience fear, and the joy of overcoming it, to fight with fatigue, crawling into the mountain, when it does not matter how I painted and laid my hair, but only what I am really. Do you understand? Not to remember, but to feel. And this is just another opinion too. Everyone will have their own. Why prove to others that you can rest better?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №110063
 01.03.2015
Old Stories for a New Way:

Ok to Google! Am I the sweetest of all, all red and white?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №110062
 01.03.2015
The game "Congratulations"
You write a compliment to the previous person who signed off before you. Give each other a smile :)

Artem
Good writer, well thought out.)

Alexis
The previous commentator made a good idea to praise the author.

Leha
You guys, you’ve immediately paid attention.

[ + 37 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №110061
 01.03.2015
To the article on the tragedy of Nemtsov comment:
Hey, Boris Efimovich, Boris Efimovich... Didn’t you, such a burnt politician, get a drop of warning when Navalny, just coming out of house arrest, suddenly rushed so fiercely to “violate public order,” only to get his 15 days in the SIO?!...
But Navalny immediately guessed what the phrase of U.S. Ambassador John Teft meant:
- It is such respected gentlemen as Navalny and Nemtsov will be able to contribute to the formation of a new Russia...

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №110060
 01.03.2015
Spring is on the nose, but it should be elsewhere.

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №110059
 01.03.2015
I know I am a big woman. And thanks to my aunt, who terrorized me with blades all the week, I don't even know how big - the weights broke.
It was first.
Second, I have a very special sense of humor. One good man at one time cried loudly about attachment to bad jokes, but I am a proletarian... In a word, only hardcore.
And thirdly, in two weeks of vacation, I managed to sharpen my hometown, without a cinema, without coffee and coffee, with the only eternal question of all my acquaintances: "Didn't you get married?" Fourth, I am so bored.
It was all prehistory. for the anturage.
There is a woman writing here. He writes with mistakes. I will not tolerate analphabets at all!! I do not accept excuses. None of any.
He writes something like, “Hello! We’re strangers, but from one city, and I’ve seen your photos, and that you’re related to cinema (yes, cinema. From the word “motor”. And my son wants to be a director, will you help him?”
Imagine all the storm of emotions reflected on my face. Will I help? by GM. I haven’t tried, but let’s.
I answer that I am always ready to help with a good word, indeed, I am surprised that this boy himself does not write to me, because it is not easy for me to communicate with my mother. However, I can provide her with a list of films and literature - to pass on to the child.
Mother rejects the list and disappears.
I received a request from a child’s friend. The boy is nineteen years old. Fragile, judging by the photo, blonde.
“Hello, I am Dima and I want to be a director.”
I, obviously, write on this self-assured statement that directing is not just sitting in a chair, drinking coffee and saying "We started" (and then little sho he thinks there). And not just arranging castings, choosing the most stunning blonde, for example. Direction (I don't get into creativity because I still don't understand this very creative component and what a double is different from the other one) - is the ability to make a team of half a hundred, at least, a person who wants to eat/sleep/bath/at the hotel/home/smoke/still sleep/drink/go to the buffet/flirt with the operator/marry, - the ability to make this crowd - be a team, and, hell, do as you want. Making your movie.
The director is Columbus, who wants to discover America. The team wants to go home (Fellini).
The boy replied that he understood and agreed and - is it difficult to enter the VGIC?
I wrote it is difficult. If it is from my city, it is of course expensive. And most likely meaningless. Especially in his young age.
I once read Von Herzog’s book, and he writes there that a man can only be a director – having come to this profession through many others. Half the world. At least half the world.
When there is something to tell.
I wrote what to watch and read.
The boy replied that he did not like to read. at all. and categorically. Can we do anything without it?
I wrote: I cannot. Books form the imagination. The circle. The Taste. The artistic thinking...
The boy assured him that his mind was fine.
I was so upset by the mistakes in his messages that I had difficulty staying within the normative vocabulary.
I wrote to him, “I am a guy. Ordinary staff. You are not with me, you are with another specialist.”
But since I was the only one who knew him from, so to speak, the cinema, he continued to terrorize with the question: how does he want to become a director?
I wrote something about the Jameson Shoot contest. Something about - record on the phone, put it on YouTube. Something about - you don't want to read - arrange a video rental, like Tarantino. Go to the cinema and I’ll help.
But the boy did not want to be a worker. I wanted everything immediately. And I broke my shoulder with the vision of myself in the domestic directory.
Spring, I thought, was an exacerbation.
They have these... creative natures.”
The final, quite logical, came today.
He, that is, a boy, met me on the street.
It’s a small town and I’m alone in it in a bright yellow jacket.
I am very visible.
Since the weights broke - especially.
He approached and said:
Hi to you. I wrote to you, I am Dima.
and smoke. I can’t help you with anything but advice. Everything I knew and could offer, I wrote.
and yes? But there are probably ways...
Yes, I agreed to it. You don’t want to read, you don’t want to work. There is one way...
Which one? He has revived.
I looked around, approached and said quietly:
“Through the bed,” she whispered, “let’s go.

Well, apparently, he didn’t really want to be a director...

by peopletalk.ru

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №110058
 01.03.2015
A few years ago.
- Dear, your grandfather's money burned in Sberkasse, your father's money in the MMM. Is it not hereditary?
No, my dear one. I am smart. And so I will not pay angry interest for a ruble mortgage, but I will take a currency.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №110057
 01.03.2015
You know, when you are twenty-three years old, you just got out of the institute, you get money at work, which is barely enough (late nineties, the prospects are bright, but the present is very dim) to feed yourself and your wife, who is still in the third grade, you work out where it got and how it got, so there is something to shoe (I would go and unload the cars, but health really does not allow), and polently explain to relatives that the best gift for you will be a new sweater and socks... In such conditions, a gift that will allow for a week not to think about how to stretch for more than a kilogram of potatoes, a half-kilogram pack of marshmallow and oats, is perceived as a darva. And sharp sensations at this time just enough for the eye, the benefit of the cultural program by the student habit includes apartments, and walks in the remote corners of the city, and dawn / sunset on the roof, and trips into the forest with a tent, and a lot of other that in adulthood seems like a romance.

But then, when everything is so good with the finances that you can not shuffle, gain weight just a joint trip around the city to see the stars, a night bathing on a lonely lake in the Karelia debris or a hot glitter from a thermos after jointly overcoming the ski slope.

Everything has its time, and the time of every thing under heaven.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №110056
 01.03.2015
Matan, some unknown shit I slept with.
Yyy: You know, I didn’t sleep, but I didn’t understand anything either.
XXX: So I still had a good time.

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №110055
 01.03.2015
Not that I have nothing to do, but Google translator translates into Latin the words "Jopa" and "Jopa" in different ways.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №110054
 01.03.2015
XXX is:
Previously, I poured a liter of milk into four glasses, and now (if I didn’t find a normal packaging) it poured in three and the rest with which it’s unclear what to do.

YYY :
So you bought the wrong glasses.

XXX is:
Good try, but no, I won’t buy your glasses.

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №110053
 01.03.2015
Do you have a new dress?
No, I wash it with the sweet magic of white-blue-black-gold.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №110052
 01.03.2015
The 5-year-old daughter is cleaning up in the rooms and says: soon we will not live like pigs, but like a king, queen and daughter.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №110051
 01.03.2015
Yyy: If I had the slightest idea of what I wanted to do, I’t go to the master’s degree.
Married, wrapped and warm in the sun?
Getting Married Free Without SMS
xxx: Without registration forgot
Yyy: Without registration it is no longer married.

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