bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №109970
 27.02.2015
Advice on how to survive a crisis.
To move from personal transport to public, to eat lunch not in a cafe, but to bring a bowl to work, to buy products on stock, clothes - at sales, to go to the cinema not more than once a month...
The question! If I lived like this before the crisis, what should I do?

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №109969
 27.02.2015
Switch reached the nearest village. He easily found the battalion headquarters. Although the village was large, there was only one decent building — a large rural school, which was built in this purely Ukrainian region by the Galician regional administration with the aim of strengthening the polarisation... Ksenz was a tall, thin old man, in a flourishing planted river. He did not eat almost anything. His father raised him in hatred of the Russians, but this hatred was removed after the retreat of the Russians, when the soldiers of the Austrian army came to the village. They ate all the goats and chickens that the Russians did not touch, even though he had the loathy Cossacks of Trans-Baykal.
— — — —
Very educational.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №109968
 27.02.2015
The Mushroom
===
All of! On March 8th only hardcore! Foam for shaving. Because he is not.
===
Chloe, and you are right. No matter what, the shave is pulling. and :)

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №109967
 27.02.2015
How is it in science?
"I tried all day to force a device to work, which is about twice as old as me. CHC was forced. But now it seems to me that MNS is not a junior scientist, but a junior necromant-spiritualist.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №109966
 27.02.2015
It is easy!

It is the same as saying, since a pencil can draw any object on paper, let it draw a square circle. Just as it is impossible to draw a square circle, so it is impossible to combine the concept of all-powerful and invariably applicable to each other.

A cylinder whose base diameter is equal to the height. In one projection a circle, in the other a square.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №109965
 27.02.2015
this
= is
In the anti-world, men have critical days and PMS
= is
men also do this (the truth is not blood down, but urine up) :)

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №109964
 27.02.2015
She took a cat, lived a male life - where it was white, now evenly smoky, it was they who smoked on the balcony, rolled out as he wanted. All in the colt - the haircut was lost on the first day. If he still chasteled on cats and responded to "holymaya", he definitely ate FullMensLife. = = )

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №109963
 27.02.2015
Almost everyone has dignity for some reason in their left trousers.
>>>>>>>>>>>>
It is a genetic memory. After all, our distant ancestors still did not know the pants and, chasing the mammoths, in one hand held a spear, and the other - held an oak to run without hindering. Therefore, she is in the descendants of the right and puts in the left pants. The descendants of the left are on the right.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №109962
 27.02.2015
It was when I was in 11th grade. For a year, a girl called me on my mobile phone once or twice a month and played. And then it turns out that I am not Oleg.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №109961
 27.02.2015
Signature to the article about IB on the Hebra:

In conclusion, I would like to thank those adequate, understandable and flexible security guards that I have never met before.

With love, hate and understanding,
Percentage of employees

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №109960
 27.02.2015
And what, green erl-grey is not the worst option, yupta! Our grandmother, when she got into the bedroom, made tea + coffee in one cooker! The boiling will remain, it will still boil the coffee bean there and boil the boiling, or in the coffee bean boilers, such as what difference, all hot and with boiling the norm goes. Here you as an option I advise, you this Fly Lady of yours, also mix coffee with tea, maybe after that she will let go. And if it goes like the norm, prepare for the worst! I know Grandma!and all:

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №109959
 27.02.2015
Call for support. A long conversation, the agent in the third circle explains that to bypass the system, as the client wants, will never come out.
You are the image of evil! You are hindering the free flow of information.
The agent notes in the comments to the application that it would be good to add a button to the phone that activates the sounding mode in the tube and launches the Imperial March in the background.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №109958
 27.02.2015
It was at the time when the flesh games began to appear.
I don’t know many terms of play.
I say to a friend:
I: There will be a lot of money I will hire a troll!
Not a shit, but a shit! Onanist is cursed.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №109957
 26.02.2015
What did you do before me, the Almighty? I will only raise this stone at the same time and not raise it. And you already think about your all sorts of theories of relativity and the principles of uncertainty, once they are smart, scuttle.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №109956
 26.02.2015
Yesterday everything came to its place. The guy explained to me what a prelude from a man looks like:
Q: Imagine you are very hungry and come to MacDack.
I: Well what?
Q: You buy your favorite hamburger and grind it for 10 minutes.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №109955
 26.02.2015
He left the car in the parking lot, blocking the departure of several other cars.
A girl calls:
Hi to! Is your car like that? You can move her so that I can leave.
I may be able to go out alone now.
I have never had such a motivation to drive a car before.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №109954
 26.02.2015
This aunt:
For many years, she worked in offices where male and female toilets were separate, and recently settled in a place where it was common (because there were very few women, no one became separate for them). I see the amount of wet spots on the floor and walls, I have one question: men, is he in you, sorry, wild and breaking out?! to

Why do men sweat by the scribes?
Well, it is simple: the exit tube of the output hydro system in men is much longer and thinner than the female, therefore, with the same force of compression of the tank and the creation of equivalent pressures, the flow rate of the working fluid from the hose will be significantly higher, which, coupled with the soft design of the output pipe and the irregularity of its hand-pressure at the time of initial targeting, adds a large element of chance to the hydrodynamics of the whole system and causes to introduce negative feedback on the polar coordinates in the target system in the form of a relatively slow manual correction, which does not succeed behind the lavine-like growing flow of fluid. It is also necessary to take into account the inevitable fluctuations of the initial conditions, depending on a number of parameters, including, for example, the temperature of the external environment, and the possibility of self-excitation of the system with a natural change in geometry, and, as a result, hydrodynamics. In other words, I never know in advance where I am!


[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №109953
 26.02.2015
It is fun to ride a taxi, as drivers constantly ask questions such as: how to drive?, which street?, and we will pass there?, and traffic jams already exist? and etc. But yesterday delighted one: came terribly dissatisfied with the claim "you, women, can’t explain where you are", long dulled, and then switched on the chat and said in the stream: "Ponchik, let’s take this woman out of the ocean...Ponchik, you are here? How sweet are they?" How sweet are they?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №109952
 26.02.2015
I went to work in the subway last night and watched the documentary Hidden Worlds, a series about hamsters that eat scorpions, and elephant jumpers that use their trail system to move quickly and find food. The movie is interesting, I go, I don’t notice anything. I go out at my station, there a woman stops me and asks: girl, are you currently watching a movie? I say: yes, I. She: it was so interesting, she stood and looked all the way, didn’t notice how she got there))

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №109951
 26.02.2015
We stand with our admin in the kitchen some morning, waiting for the tea to boil. He tells me about the fact that he decided to monitor health, started with the purchase of some supplements(:D) that you need to drink for the night. In general, on his phrase "In general, I will drink before going to bed, they say, better sleep" our new girl designer enters the kitchen (a meter tall with a cap, about 20 years old, big-eyed, cute creature) and issues "Drink it tomorrow! The best option is a cognac in coffee. And the bosses do not smoke, and the soul warms, and you want to live, oh, and what, our coffee is over?
We are O_O

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