In the middle of the discotheque with the toilet cabin there were scratched pants, pants + belt... the question where the man went O_o

My son (4 years old) is attacking me. For a while, protecting myself with a pillow, I take a fist from him. He goes to his room, brings the sword and announces the new conditions:
Knights with a sword, monsters with ducks (I hold a duck in my hand).
Trying to confuse the grown up, I throw the oak to the side and say:
I don’t have a donkey, so I’m not a monster.
My son’s eyes are serious, and he says to me with a drop of pity:
You are a defenseless monster.

My mother doesn’t believe in the end of the world. She says that the one who has survived the reconstruction is no longer afraid of Nothing.

Translation of the film:
A man has just lost his wife, sitting on the stairs, crying. Another person approaches him, and, with a full face of participation, apparently trying to encourage him somehow, says:

I think you should hang on! I think you should hang yourself.

We answered:
Russia played 1-1 against Qatar
YYY: Does Qatar have a football team?

Do you joke, brother? Their players would break us on the British flag.
And this is the national team of Qatar... by curling... female... junior... paralympic...

A: Is it Strauss playing a stunt?
BBB: It looks like entering Star Wars, or something like that.
I think it reminded me of KVN.
Oh, this is the strait! Everybody is down.

He is cool now.
by Alex :?? to
Mamont: You don’t know what? He bought a broken lamborghini in meat not on the go. In terms of money it turned out like two normal cars. He is cool now. He rotates in his hands the keys from the lamboo and shows everyone a PTS voucher. And he walks.
Mamont: Today to work pleased such came, jumping, the birth is joyful, says "hurra I bought the lighthouse. The right" Then he started asking for money in debt, the type lacks for life. He said, “That’s how the salary was before yesterday.” And he is like "I say, I bought a faro. The right"

Inlanger: 23-year-old pedophile raped two young boys in McDonald’s toilet
inlanger: I am alarmed by the Facebook button "Be the first friend who liked it" under this news.

Is it normal? we sit at work - here the sirene in the factory - on the idea should take the anti-gas....and a friendly organized crowd in the shelter....but since the top of the legs is not heard... we make a decision... wait - there will be seen)))
The employee flegmatically notices - at Fukushima, too, at first thought that we would wait, suddenly school!!! to

Ram is
The advice of the ladies (shut on the goats with their tips) to digest people easier, introduce them as children.

De-GraDG
All normal

De-GraDG
To make it easier to digest people, you need to eat mezim-forte

Earlier, when I came from school, I was often waiting for a note from my mother on the table: “Sasha, burn your eggs.” It always scared me.

from Lithuania

Imagine how other children will perceive your child’s name? <...> We wanted to call the son Anton, Camille or Stephanie )))) the longest of all lasted Anton, up to the birth)))) Then I scrolled the association with Anton in my head and still changed my mind )))) <...> In the end <...> the son was given the name - Stanislav... Not as rare as I would like, but the son is going and like other than the Sta- mattress you will not call)))))))

Do not destroy your illusions.

111: Here is the taste of music in your lambs.
222: I'm sorry but it's not only not so much of me, it's the golden middle of the Russian hit parade of contemporary music by the results of 2010 :)
111: what a serious argument you pulled out))) type I am not a lamb - I am in the very center of the altar!!!)))

Damn, did not endure, took the cat to the veterinarian, because he fell down - he walks, climbs on every soft toy, even to his wife began to fit - he throws on the coat, no, in nature, it is unpleasant, you go to bed, and he holds a plush mouse in front of you, upset. In short, brought home for lunch, Koshara more or less drowned from anesthesia, but the back legs are still on the side, released him from the cage, so what does this jabar-terrorist first??? blatant, catches the mouse with the teeth for the scratch, adjusts something (the legs are still shaking) and let him chart... Then sat down, looked at me with a triumphant look, said, hid, right? And I started licking out the place where once there were eggs...I was in the aquarium.

Headlines of news:

Medvedev believes nuclear power is safe
Medvedev hopes to restore relations with Georgia
Medvedev believes corruption can be defeated
Medvedev believes in the President of Ingushetia
Medvedev believes in the success of Sochi-2014
Medvedev believes in Russian automobile industry
Medvedev believes in Skolkovo
Medvedev believes in “United Russia”

What about Santa?

Medvedev demanded the certification of engineering universities.
ANSWER: The engineering university requested the certification of the bears.

Please send your mail. What is? The dog? Yet another time? The dog is gone, don’t call me anymore. Write well?

What distinguishes us from Americans?
At least there is common sense.

A white American woman gave birth to a black child while her husband served in Iraq, U.S. media reports.
According to the woman herself, she is pregnant from watching a 3D porn film and intends to demand the payment of alimony from one of the actors of the film.
According to the woman, a week after watching the film, she felt ill and bought a pregnancy test, which showed a positive result.
Interestingly, the husband of the "victim" supports his wife. He said 3D movies are incredibly realistic, so there is nothing surprising about the fact that his wife got pregnant from one of the actors.

taken from RBC

Captain Evidence works at the post office.
Print on notification:
The department is like that.
Regime of work:
pn pt.:08.00 - 20.00
Sb.:09.00 - 18.00
Break: from 13.00 to 14.00
Weekends : Weekends

Rackgool: Tell me something good
ChioDay: My leg hurts
Rackgool: I asked for something good.
ChioDay: Well it will soon pass