bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №136161
 22.11.2016
>>> The organs of breeding steam wagons are factories!and ;-)

There is a video on YouTube "How hose excavators reproduce".

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №136160
 22.11.2016
Confrontation of Constitution and legislation:
xxx: I think the authorities made a mistake when even my 80-year-old grandmother remembered the constitution of the Russian Federation, its violations and said everything she thinks about power to my cat.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №136159
 22.11.2016
xxx > it would be cool if they made the contract system new
xxx > if there were still notaries and arbitration courts
In EVE Online there is betrayal, deception, murder, terrorism, cannibalism, prostitution, racket, slavery. And you want to add the most evil, the most foolish and the most disgusting manifestation of human activity: bureaucracy. Do not be so.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №136158
 22.11.2016
There are two problems in Russia: Syria and Donbass.

[ + 32 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №136157
 22.11.2016
Petry
The story of Maxim Camerer about pins in the ass and work
I have a familiar couple. The soul lives in the soul. Once with my husband after a successful deal went to the cabbage to note, he told me this story.
In 1994, after serving in the Far East, he returned home. He married his waiting girlfriend. Since half of his co-workers were local, naturally when he returned home, he borrowed money to trade in auto parts and cars. There was no logistics at the time, so spare parts and machines flew away like hot cakes. Shortly up, he flew above the sky, feeling accordingly. He went missing in saunas and cocktails for weeks, bought from his wife with expensive gifts. Working for her was not allowed in principle, the type of predator should be in the family only one. In early 1998, he had a wonderful idea of taking a dollar loan to develop a business for many thousands of evergreens. In general, you understand his feelings in August. In order to get out of the credit anus, I had to sell almost everything I earned. They moved to a rental house, the man drank the black, thought of the loop every day, he says. And to eat it every day hunting, and for the house to pay. And his wife, by the way, while he walked to earn money, sitting at home, found a hobby. She, who grew up in the village, did not work, and began to breed all kinds of botanics at home. There were all sorts of prose peters and crops, and other seductive things, since the lady was practical, did not grow what could not be served to the table. In general, while her husband was in the alcoholic compound, she began to go out and sell her peanut. To her surprise, all this nonsense was dealt with and asked for more. In general, she sprinkled her messy husband, and he sprinkled his heart, in the room, gathered her a mini-greenhouse for growing. The lamps there for 24-hour light special purchased, well, and did everything in mind. I slept on the floor in the kitchen. After a while, the business began to develop. We concluded contracts with food chains for the supply of greens and became monopolies in our city in this segment. In general, at this time, the wife no longer sows and gathers, sits at home, and raises two herdsmen. And the man works, and she says, by the grave of life will be grateful that she pulled out. This is petry.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №136156
 22.11.2016
When I do nonsense, I think of people who take loans for weddings, and it gets easier for me.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №136155
 22.11.2016
The first programming language:
XXX: I disagree with the author.
The first language to learn is C/C++.
YYY: As a person who not only writes in C++, but also, oh horror, loves it (like Java), I would say that starting to learn programming with C++ is the most sure way to get away from it forever.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №136154
 22.11.2016
xx: what about getting drunk in a cocktail and removing a girl without complexes?
XY: Emmy
X: Oh, Natasha, I am here to conduct a survey
xy: you know, I agree

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №136153
 22.11.2016
The Oborvans

Esau, Esau, what are you bro?

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №136152
 22.11.2016
Probably meant this:
M: Will you go out for me?
I don’t know, but how much do you earn?
M: Ten thousand of them!
I only have that amount on toilet paper.
M: You know, I thought, I’ve gotten such a shit?

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №136151
 22.11.2016
From the Facebook tape:

So what do you know about high technology and healthy self-esteem?
Today in the church, a guy tried to pay for a candle with a card.
A, hearing the offer to walk to the nearest ATM, confidently replied: "On the turn in Sberbank I did not sin".

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №136150
 22.11.2016
The Exposure
"When I die, I will..."
T.G. Shevchenko

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №136149
 22.11.2016
- We changed the homephone and gave a certain number of keys from it. At the time of issue, was absent ((( neighbors do not give the key to the duplicate to do((( where do I apply for my kit???????)! to
Break the homeopath. When they change again, stay home.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №136148
 22.11.2016
who complains that the 5-digit bus numbers are not happy, just have no consideration, because there you just fold the first 2 digits and the last if they coincide with the third digit in the middle, then the ticket is happy and it can be eaten! and ;)

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №136147
 22.11.2016
xxx: If you want the norms of liquidity on thickness meters - call me on my mobile.
I have a dog on them, yes!)
Started with the device for determining the thickness of the mushroom in pigs, we had such a few in the fitness clubs :-)

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №136146
 22.11.2016
Antoha: 10-12 years ago we had a case in the town:
In the winter, hanging jeans after washing, not pressing the water. After some time, when the water in them turned into ice, the plugs did not stand and the jeans fell from the 4th floor on the head of some miser, passing under the house.
He survived, but the shock worked out.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №136145
 22.11.2016
My friend hardly misses the universe.R-leader, C - the senior of the group.
R: Where is she?! to
C: I don’t know, I called in the morning, she didn’t take the phone!
R is a nightmare. So much debt and loans! If she is still alive...
A: I will kill her.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №136144
 21.11.2016
xxx: in one toy - Settlers 2 - there was such a function "Release a Geologist"
In fact, you’re just telling your bearded uncle to look for water, coal, gold and iron ore.
But I still have this picture in my head: on the base of the Romans is a iron cell, in it is a wild bearded man - a geologist. He is released, and he begins to fuck the mountain with a wild raven "CAAMNIA!". Then he is caught, locked in the same cage and healed by uncle’s bites.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №136143
 21.11.2016
“Yes, I’m gay, but I’m full of money.” – Cristiano Ronaldo
by Ophigete! Everyone, of course, guessed, but in our time, this is how to openly admit that you have a lot of money - it is very bold.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №136142
 21.11.2016
Questions Answer

> I will not argue for the benefit, but why is it coffee? Coffee in the same coffee?

Because it was so called as crab sticks, in the production of which no crab was hurt. In addition, in some varieties for the smell pour a little natural coffee.


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