From Twitter
@sarkado went to the bathroom to wash, accidentally washed his head. It is good to be skinny.

When Elton John came to football, the people shouted, “Beware your ass, old Elton is there!” The old Elton roared with them.

A girl slept with a guy for 5 iPhones. Specifically, she gave him the phone and pulled it into bed. Now in the collective stebe his "iPhones"
YYYYYYYYY))))
He recently learned that she wanted to give him an iPad for DR.
Wow, you’ll soon be tracking it "ipadla" =)
Oh you knew :D

Do you have an old printing machine in your office?
Only if Ludmila Vasilievna

I watched the program "Time" at 21 00 on the 1st.Katy Andreyev again on the federal channel! In the prairie! Calls on ordinary fellow citizens to collect and donate gifts for the treatment of Russian children! Bl.D., and it is a "great and powerful state" not able to provide its small fellow citizens with the necessary medical services, but, at the same time, fighting for the increase in the birth rate! This is a complete puzzle, comrades, and a disgrace to the existing power.

I know a fucking couple. Yesterday they seriously argued about what kind of magic is better to clean the potatoes.

You can congratulate me...
YYY: With what?
Since April 1, our department has not officially existed.
WOW: Where are you?
Do you want to do it yourself? 😉

Previously, I laughed at jokes about hungry students, but when I entered the universe, I realized that it was not a joke! Then I laughed at the jokes about students who didn’t sleep during the session, but after six months, I realized it wasn’t funny. Upon installing Linux, I realized that the humor about red-eyed, dormant linuxoids, too, is blatant, not humor.
XXX: So why am I? Oh yeah, I was sitting and roaring over jokes about graduates now, but something is roaring me...

Anyone who has traveled by public transport in Moscow has probably heard - "Dear passengers, you are served by such a group of such a park every 5-10 minutes."

“Wept, I’m on a trolley bus this morning, behind the window, the people are cloudy.
This includes - Dear passengers you ap.. (and silence)
From the rear the hysterical scream - WhatsAaaapp!!! to

Thank you man! You make my day! 😉

Apuox: It is a well-known fact that the theater begins with a hangover, but after a visit to the reggae-haside concert of Mattiayachu, I dare to say that the Jewish concert begins with the closet: it is paid - 50 rubles per jacket...

Scientists have found a particle similar to the Higgs Boson"

Q: I don’t know if I should buy or not?

My son goes to second class. Today they are sitting with their wife, doing lessons, suddenly the wife is running "Help answer the question".
I stretch the book, I read.
The task is to read the fairy tale "Snowboy" and answer the questions at the end. Here is the question:
Imagine you are inviting the Snowmen to a walk on a sunny summer day. What would you say to her?"
Personally, I had only one option of answer: "Asta la Vista, Baby"

But I am very curious - what would the respectable creators of the textbook say to Snowmen in this situation?

Book of Reading, Part 2. T.D Popov, I.N. The Lapshina. The p. 80 is
Recommended by the Ministry of Education and Science of Ukraine.

Today, a friend (p), playing toys on various social networks, just melted my delicate psyche.
Q: So what should I do now?
I: More specifically...
Q: Remember, I was hacked yesterday, you restored my password?
I : I remember. Again what?
Q: No, I tried to get in now, and I was written that because of spam they blocked my page until 14:30 tomorrow.
Q: How to get in?
I: No of course. You will come in tomorrow after 14:30.
Q: Have you gone crazy? There are no feeding pigs!

xxx said(a):I long in the beginning watched TV, but not to the end - not interesting without feeling... And when again repeat - well and watched to the end, and realized, what a movie. Thanks for the distribution.

yyy: I read your comment as well, but not to the end - not interesting not understandable... And then I decided to read it - okay and read it, and I realized that there is nothing to comment on.. thank you for the comment.

layara: in the network mfu Minolta for 14700 euros my mom.. yeah it's smarter than me
layara: programmable multifunction for automated and robotic printing
layara: and I’m covering my bicycle over him...I’m not going to do it again

How long have you been trying to read books? They are half literate now. Read the rhetoric before 1990

I bought my daughter a fat story book, a gift edition. Expensive paper, beautiful illustrations, a large, clear font to learn to read on it. We came home and ate lunch. I would like to read a new book before I go to bed. And,..., in the first fairy tale on the first page there are 2 gross spelling errors. Sometimes it didn’t come to mind, but maybe it could be handed back to the store? This is not to be given in the hands of children.

I bought a Chinese phone, which reloads itself periodically. In the hope of a guarantee, he wrote about this to the seller, which received a great answer:
Dear friend, pls use it slow and patient, thanks

“Imagine if there really is a God, and he is some Shambambambukli, the supreme god of the little Tumba-Yumba tribe. And he commanded that only those who carry a crocodile tooth on their necks will be saved and deserve eternal life.
But almost no one will be offended after death: everybody has flattered.
- I think there will be no more offenses... although the Catholics with the Huguenots will be sure: "And why did we all do this?"
Pope Francis will not be surprised. He has a crocodile tooth on his neck.
and exactly. And before the intronization, the chosen Pope enters a secret room, opens a secret box and reads a mysterious ancient manuscript, which says: "Immediately hang a crocodile tooth on your neck! Everything else is shit!" Next to it are crocodile teeth.

She: I’m a little cold, I rarely go out.
As well as 469.
My uncle had
He also rarely started.

The black socks looked scary from a bunch of fresh white stuff.