In 2012 Russia will collect a record harvest of vermicella

Correspondence with the client:
The Client:
Natalia, greetings, make and pass on with the next arrival
Courier documents from 31/10/11
I am :
Victor, good morning The documents have already been delivered 05/10 and handed over to the manager Karpushkin.
The Client:
Hello Natalia, the documents were received at the time, the accountantry cut the fish on them on a holiday day, for this I also request duplicates. and Senx
I am :
Victor - we are proud that our documents you needed in such a way
It’s a great day for such a responsible procedure 😉

Liloo: I have invented it. I will send him a new year card with an ultrasound photo and a signature "he has your eyes".
e2-d2 is a. He replied to you with his echoed eyes. and I sign - "now exactly my". And then when your baby is asked who he looks like, he will say, “I don’t know who he looks like, but I have daddy eyes.” And such a bowl of formaline gets behind the back.

d0lboiob: Oh, that’s what they’ve done. Sanitary and fucking.
d0lboiob: In order for me to change the pipes now, I need to put a shell on them. On the already delivered they can not give a guarantee, so the pipes will not be put.(A year ago, I made the shell myself with my neighbor.)
d0lboiob: Well what to do. I had to put them in the shell (4th). A. They took me with my consent.
d0lboiob: Today I will go to the neighbor, tell him about this fight, and he tells me that he has the same situation, they also put their own, too for 4 thousand, and his shell was taken.
d0lboiob: You know how glad I was when I saw in his kitchen MY shell, with the word “Hui” scratched on one edge.

I have a condom here, can you help me use it?
^ kity^:... o_o
^ kity^: Well I found it.
^ kity^: I’m waiting at 7 :-*

Discussions about the failure of the Phobos-Grunt expedition
Never and nobody before the Russians had so barbarously sucked the fish! orbital stations in the Pacific.

Discussing the fact that when gluing the scotch onto the matte glass it becomes transparent:

DNA_Seq: That’s what kindergartens know. And if it is so, it will be the same.
Mow: is it true? I probably have a shower cabin made of matte glass.
question4: If the glass is matte on two sides, it will not help. And if it is not matte, but painted - it will not help either.
Camel: If the glass is not matte, but everything is curved and patterned, then it will not help on one side.
MUT: and if not Scotch, but isolant, it will not help either.
vnovouhov: And if not glass and 5mm steel sheet, it will not help either
Sin_a: That is, if on the non-matte, but on the curve and patterned, on the one hand, the steel sheet with a thickness of five millimeters to glue the insulator then it will not become transparent? It is a pity what...

Aunt Sasha: Yes, my ass would win the competition "The Ass 2011"!!! to
Uncle Lozha: Yes, you would have won the contest "The Ass 2011"...

From Habr. Discussion of COIB-2010 (complex processing of ballots of the 2010 model):

xxx: already correctly calculated, 4 December will be without excesses) There will be no re-election, the software is working great!
Yyy: Vladimir Vladimirovich, change your mind.

xxx: and you also do - you are sitting on a pair in a half-sleeping state and in the head one thought - I will come home - I will go to bed, but, scary, after you go home and in the field of your sight appears the computer all the drowsiness miraculously disappears :(

Kann: In 2030, people will not have to have sex to experience orgasm and other pleasant sensations that arise during the process. To do this, it will be enough to apply microchips on the skin that will record the signals of the nervous system during sex and then lose them again at any time.

The comments:
NCP: In 2029 there will be cheap Chinese counterfeits of electronic sex
Def: In 2031 Apple will release the AI Fact
MalySheff: iFusk will be seamless, convenient, but too fast and expensive!

I speak to the boss.

Name of Procent
–...

% of name!
–...

The Boss!
–...

She-e e e e!! to
–...

Percentage of...
–...

Wearing a-a-a...
– and?! to

Chuck Norris appears in World of Warcraft advertisement
The comments:
How much money did Blizzard get?
and all.

Remember that school in winter you were buried in the snow?
Who was not buried there? We sat for a while. Timor was buried.
YYY: I, by the way, saw him recently, in the summer, literally. Not to know man!
ZZZ: Is it out?

XTR1MAL: I actually invented a new thing.
XTR1MAL: If we break up. You have to have sex 10 times.
XTR1MAL: It’s like they’re already separated. must work out.
Zebra is not
Zebra: I do not agree.
XTR1MAL: what is it
Zebra: Then you’ll leave me every day.

From technical support:
I’m 85% confident in my password, but it doesn’t fit.
YYY: O_O

The theme of the day at work: "Cremation coupons"
XXX is wow!! I got my creams today!! and :)
YYY: Is it when your body is soaked with cream? and ;)
zzz: Oh, and with this you get an ultra-powerful sunburn.
Yyy: Each second - urna as a gift :)

I’ve always dreamed that my computer could be used as easily as a phone; my dream has come true: I can’t figure out how to use my phone anymore.

Prepod reads a list of students written by hand. It comes to the name of Tulikova. I can’t read it, so this is the dialogue:
of Tubikova?
by Tulikova!
L is?
and yes!
L is?
and yes!
L is?
and yes!
I love when people say yes, yes, yes.

You don’t know how to cure pregnancy and what symptoms are there?
YYY: in 9 months it will pass 😉