I went out to read something funny, loaded with new knowledge.

to this:

If a survey was conducted among 5,000 people cut off at the Uralvagon plant, 99.99% would say that Obama was to blame for the cuts.

What does the other half-man think?

A good title for a programming book:
50 Shades of JavaScript

A pleasant winter evening in a family circle. Discussing the Estate
Sister: Okay Google: How old is Cobson?
...
...
Oh well? What is hanging? Okay Google: How old is Cobson?

Mother: Don’t turn the phone. He did not hang, he thought.

3 years ago I made a temporary registration at the Uffms of Volgograd - I was carried out the brain, shed blood and shattered the psyche (the basement, narrow corridors, crowds of people incompatible with my misanthropy, bureaucracy and paper obscurity)not to mention the time spent, two, beaten, days!!! It’s time to extend: I’ve settled up in advance (pustler and valerian: o. weny cocktail, I’ll report to you). I come to the same basement - everything is the same, electricity hangs on the door, Russian! Go there, there’s everything for you.
He shrugged his shoulders and went. I came... and the square, where I was?light, warmth, ceiling for giraffes, the people at least and still met affectionately.all explained, all showed, promised in 20 minutes to do everything at a convenient time for me...I am in shock- my cocktail is magical?

Duche3d: Unfortunately, the roots of my hands are too close to the cross spine to even think about such manipulations.

Lightbit: We have fire here. Vasily Evgenievich tells someone on the phone that a person of fifty years of birth cannot be a member of the WOW, although this is written in the system.

About Auto Replacement:
When he went to the army, they gave some cheap Alcatel with some tariff with a loud name "defender of the fatherland".
So it was worth writing 'Aga' - everything was okay.
But it was worth adding a point and the peaceful 'Aga' turned into the terrible 'Babelmandebsk'. I don’t know why. I checked everyone in the squad. If there are people from Alcatel, where is the logic?

@PrePersik All girls are familiar when you go in a shirt, and she rises under the shirt.. rises.. And here the shirt slightly hangs on your ears, and you go proudly with your naked ass to work

To this: Fuck, well who let this resource in.
Humanitarian (half of the quotes are ruined)
_____________________________________
Not humanitaries were allowed here, but fools with exaggerated stress, who manage to judge the correlation of gender and orientation of thinking with the percentage ratio of corrupt quotes.
A typical humanitarian.

Chibisuka: It’s good to be beautiful. Without makeup, I’m more like a 14-year-old boy sitting on drugs.

A wife asked a friend to choose a computer on the avito. I found a fine little barbecue, showing my wife.
XXX: She says she is a girl. She doesn’t need a small and laying computer, she needs a big and standing computer.

The fucking. I mean, I haven’t seen those 50 shades of gray and I won’t look at them.

Partisan150: I don’t go without jokes about sex.
Thus the tenacle in the fence,
I’ll show you Loli.

For several years I went to work at the same time on the same route. Yesterday I met an elderly lady with a taxi, which I usually see near the subway, a quarter away from the usual place. I say goodbye (we don’t know each other, but we see each other every day), she also says goodbye and immediately adds:

Don’t worry, you’re not late, we’re out early today.

to this:
Odmin technicians, cut your fat patls, shave off your goat beards and wash your socks with cowards, and only then chase the humanitarian.
V. Cats
===
Performing one meme - "I will then shave, and you will remain as stupid as you were";

He was the only one who treated Sharikov in a human way (although with his kicks).

Oh, just remember what he originally came to the professor - to pick up a living space.
He also said that the watchroom can be connected to the office.

Such a man will come to you and connect your living room with a toilet, but to the parasites living in the apartment will be treated humanly.

News "Discussions about the news about the perpetrators who cut off the plantation of 10 groves in the Astrachan region"
____
I suppose they don’t like Jasmine so much, because they once asked Jasmine, and Jasmine didn’t answer them.

to this:
The female manager:

We are very important to your brushes, laundry clothes, diapers, baby shoes.
_____________________________________

Not a stamp. There are J / R who - give up work on time, or better a couple of days earlier, and scream that you have fifty other tasks in parallel, as well as borsches, babies, diarrhea and so on... Nifiga is not good, So bad loading, you have another fifth of new tasks... Delayed at work until late because of the loading? So, you organize your day badly and fool yourself on 55 parallel tasks... You’re late 5 minutes because you left at 12 p.m. for 55 tasks? Your problems, therefore, do not pull to this position... and so - the marasme strengthens to infinity...

Yesterday I washed my white sweater with black socks (((
What are the socks bleached?