bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №123974
 04.02.2016
During the Second World War, dolphins were once trained to search for mines and released them to the sea for this purpose, and they just dropped. Dolphins have proven that they are the smartest animals on the planet.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №123973
 04.02.2016
xxx: Do you also have friends who write "here" instead of "here"?

My friends are not idiots. They write "here"

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №123972
 04.02.2016
Conversation in the office:
What is the name of the state within the state?
of Moscow?

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №123971
 04.02.2016
That’s why it’s a hobby. Existing for your pleasure, expensive, bringing a purely symbolic result or nothing (in the case of pleasure, the process is important). Cry around the car, devote your free days to the garden - just stop offendingly curving your lips when the spouse(s) son or daughter replies that they walk to the subway on foot in beautiful weather (while you swear snow in winter due to motorism and dream of naked asphalt) - and at the same time it will be in place half an hour before you, because after blowing up in traffic jams you will be turning in search of parking space. Or will refuse to kill your vacation with you in the country / buy for your money in the store delicious vegetables and fruits, although you have a landscape harvest on the balcony, and in the warehouse for the third year burning pots with twists that nobody (including you) will eat. He may have a hobby in drawing, but he does not infuse you with paintings and does not say that the paintings of the artists are "crazed", but his drawings for pleasure are something that everyone is obliged to hang on the walls.

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №123970
 04.02.2016
NiKo: And we have such a wind today that I’m waiting for Ellie’s house to fly.)

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №123969
 04.02.2016
HH: What did you do there? Why was he roasting like a horse all night afterwards?
We both drowned in the bathroom. We enter, and in the mirror the virgins tremble photographs, the lips crack. She begins to sneeze when she sees it. Go to the cabins. We go out, there are even more there, and no one washes their hands, all foolishly photograph themselves in the mirror! Do not break through the shell. Nastya quietly bursting under the nose of the “blade”, took the phone, shook them and struck them from the side. With a blast. They turned around and she tossed them again.
Yyy: They didn’t have time to open their mouths, as she cried out, “Fuck the fuck from here! I’ll celebrate the whole internet!”
YYY: dissolved in a moment


[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №123968
 04.02.2016
I told her that in the past feelings
My friend is what I am
My friend is a pedicure.
A friend came with a bouquet of roses.


[ + 15 - ] Comment quote №123967
 04.02.2016
In Moscow on the 3rd Mytyshchynskaya street failed ground. 3 Feb

On the Zorg street in Moscow, the ground on the road failed. 31 of Jan.

The ground failed on the dimmed rainy Dmitrovsky highway. 28 Jan

In Moscow, before the entrance to the station "Plaza Iljiča" the ground failed. 13 July.

Ground collapsed on the Minsk highway
27 of June.

At the 25th kilometre, the ground failed. 20 of June.

A car crashed into a hole due to land collapse 11 March

Moscow is moving closer to hell.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №123966
 04.02.2016
My grandmother burned in black. Everything is not described, but the breasts of the compromise were given to the public at lunch: crazy: And starting with memories from the time of King Horoh and ending with the "fresh" about Daddy and Mom :D The husband didn't stand the first and now quietly calls her "Our Snowden" or "Baby Snowden". The funniest thing that I was talking to my mom tonight was, “Tell my mom that we won’t give Snowden’s grandmother to them, that is, we won’t give it back.”

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №123965
 04.02.2016
If a girl asks you to give her an iPhone, buy it. The first, 2g, for three thousand rubles. And when she’s offended, what if you say she’s a fool who doesn’t know how to make a customer agreement.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №123964
 04.02.2016
Living on the second floor with a balcony, from which there is a beautiful view of the trees. If you look from the street, you can’t even see the balcony. But this has its plus - the constant silence and the singing of birds. But this silence is by some individuals who are constantly in need right under my balcony. Well, here I stood yesterday as usual, smoking quietly, here I look, two girls moving under my balcony so unnoticed. One remained standing on the streets, the other unnoticedly ran under a tree next to the balcony and already prepared to do her business, but apparently something went wrong, and she called half a whisper to her friend, the guy is scary for her alone. Well, I was not confused and replied, saying, “Don’t be afraid, I will punish you.” I’ve never been able to get away so quickly.)

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №123963
 04.02.2016
I took my niece from the kindergarten today. A model, educated and modest girl.



He goes, tells how the day passed and here is about this dialogue:

We agreed today to make a surprise to our mothers!

I am what?

P – Today it’s loud to say, so that as many people as possible can hear (in the transport there, at dinner): “Mom, you’re such a shit!” Don’t tell your mother, it’s a secret.

I have some misunderstanding, I ask where this idea comes from and if she knows what this word means. It turned out that the son of the teacher came to them in the group, who just arranged this, somewhat deceiving the children about the meaning of the word.

The journey, the parents of the other children today awaits an incredible "surprise", and I will go to communicate with the teacher tomorrow.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №123962
 04.02.2016
I don’t understand why laziness is considered a mortal sin. It helps people not to sin.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №123961
 04.02.2016
Yesterday evening: I am approaching my house and right on me runs some loose-mortar miracle the size of a pony, not immediately realized that it is a dog. I was scared to scare. I forgot that I had a T.T. injury. Aunt is in the background:
He does not bite. He does not bite. Do not be afraid!
At that moment, I wanted to get a gun, direct it and scream:
He does not shoot! He does not shoot! Do not be afraid!

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №123960
 04.02.2016
I worked for a time in an office that rented a room on the territory of NII. There were many typical bodies, which are completely the same on the outside, and the numbering is in the order of construction, that is, behind the second can easily stand the seventeenth.

The main benchmark on the way to work was a poster of the 1970s, telling about the products of NII. He looked horrible, in places rusted to holes, licked by rain and sun, but you won't go by even if you want to.

In general, in the third week of my work in this office, the remnants of the NIH, who lived on one floor of the same building, made a slide and pulled the poster closer to themselves. Greater horror than when I did not understand where to go now, I had never experienced.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №123959
 04.02.2016
But a much larger distance unmanned cars from Google pass in a virtual environment – 4.8 million kilometers a day.
Matrix for cars?

YYY: Interesting version for “Matrix 4”. It turns out that in the war, cars and people were defeated. They pushed all the cars into the matrix and made it seem that they pushed people into the matrix. Neo, Trinity, Morpheus and others are second-order guard programs. and :)

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №123958
 04.02.2016
What are the chances that it will work?
This is not absolutely impossible.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №123957
 04.02.2016
Hololed, he is the same as the communalists - there is no need for naphyg. I do not drive a car in principle - a rider by nature. For the first time in his life, I regretted not being on the wheels - to the stop 30 minutes, from the stop 30 minutes.(In contrast to the usual 10). I cursed everybody. He fell twice. In the shoe service offered for a thousand to prepare shoes for ice - glue rubber to glue. How to wear shoes with a deep protector? What for shoes is sold in sports masters and in pharmacies - only for vals. Rescue for manual installation. Workers of ZKH - the shob did not help you anything from the ican.

[ + 20 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №123956
 04.02.2016
Answer from the topic with the condemnation of comments in the code:

and *
* Function launched at the start of the application that accepts
Parameters of command line. Do not feed cats.
* It does not return anything. and should not. If you have to, you have to stick.
It is quite static.
* / /
Add a few words about this function.
public static void // Different official words
main(String[] args) // function main { // figure cluster
It makes no sense to go back, but I left because it is so beautiful to do.
Return the Emptiness of the Universe
} // Figure fold // Comment to comment

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №123955
 04.02.2016
I took the kids to the pool and went back. one one. The aunt goes: "Girl, and let me marry you my son!" I answer: "you will not be embarrassed to have 5 grandchildren at once?" - "Oh, well, I couldn't just refuse!" They don't believe in us, as in dinosaurs... :-)

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