In the car service I do maintenance, I am in the remson, I listen to the conversations of mechanics.
To the master of change (MS) suits the mechanic (M).
M: There the client came, he was in the car "g-g-g".
MS (shaking the tail): Well go, understand it.
It passes 2 hours.
M: There the client wants to leave and pick up the car.
MS: So what, did you figure it out?
M: Not quite, but there now instead of "g-g-g" sounds "sh-sh-sh".
MS: Is it suitable for him?
M: Yes, he wants to leave.
MS: Okay, give it up.

I sit in front of the PC and almost cry. On the screen images on the request "gangrene, tissue necrosis". The husband:

What happened?

With shaking hands, I show the daughter's finger on her leg, the skin is cracked, inside and on the edges black. The husband looks carefully, salivates and rubs. There were worshippers from the coats.

I’m afraid to cut off this dumb internet.

xxx: Lexie, by the way, appeared recently for 5 minutes)
XX: Walking like a horse
XXX: There is no time
yyy: we all weep (( gesture some... there, at the time, not the year of the Horse is over?)
xxx: by the way) by my horse and finished))
It was the year of the sheep (the year of the horse was 2014).
Here are the sheep, 2nd year like horses.

I was walking in the corridor of the office, looking, the door to the server room is opened (usually in the castle) and there is no one inside. He looked around, admired the flashing stands, and went to admin.
I go in and ask: "Lesha, and in the server room always smells like burnt?"
You would see his eyes! O_O

on a dating site. The young man offers intimate relationships.
I: And many girls agree to such proposals?
Young man: many agree, but not all in my taste and interesting.
I: Why do you offer them if they are not in your taste and are not interesting?

Description of Freud.

Anton: here I complained that not everyone commented on their code... better code without comments than with such: una variavel para armazenar os chunks que estao ativos naquele momento
and the names of functions and variables in spirit: folhagem, mundoz, posisarvores, etc.
Tagged: ahahahahahahah
Anton: Here is the real fucking leg breaking in these sorties. It looks like a code code, but because of such names you have zero understanding)))
Lera: Well clearly, for you, it's like calling functions just a random set of letters X)))
Anton: but the most stupid thing is that I read the code, and the inner voice is not just reading, but with a characteristic accent and emotional emphasis)))) I can't get rid of it directly)))
Anton: it’s terrible)) I can’t read the code properly)) left to start typically gesturing with my hands and reading out loud with such an accent, and it will seem like I’m quarrelling in Spanish or what language it is)))
Anton: That’s why I try to give meaningful English nimes to my variables. And then the same stuff will be))) there will be some bourgeois entangled in my UnichtozhenieBloka, SozdanieMira, etc.)))
Lera: Dada X) a Spanish such will be sad to his wife to write, say, this Russian udd could not give normal names to functions, I am here now sitting and reading, and most importantly, with a characteristic accent, and the hands to swallow at all do not want to X))))

Played in Heroes 3, I go to the kitchen to drink water, I see a mum there, I stand (as long as it looks like).

When the former school girl unattainable to you on the evening of the meeting of graduates after 30 years of separation suddenly agrees to intimacy, it is like if your father gave you a "penny" when you long ago ride a "Mercedes".

Not what you say, but in a mask fun sitting at work - every second visitor is scratching. )))
And ischo can be a goat mouth to do the ipanuite customers )))))

I heard a statement from a friend: "And who has no money for an apartment in the center, he just doesn’t want to work!". Somehow I don’t even want to remind him that he himself lives half an hour’s walk from the final metro station and with his parents, he’s so offensive!

When I had just learned the letters, I had a great interest in reading the signs, and they were often composed of some kind of incomprehensible words such as "IKMEK" or "ŽILEK-ŽILEŠ-YASHELČ". I also thought that I was just still reading heroic, and then my parents explained to me that I live in Tatarstan, and half of the signs here are in Tatar.

A curious tendency of applied meritionism: if the sucha is a beautiful warrior in a glowing armor lift, then the aftar is either a man, or a very small (aged nine to twelve) girl, and the adult aftorches write the sucha exclusively in the measure of loving prostitutes, former librarians and accountants, in whom, nevertheless, a bunch of men of the format must fall in love with the beautiful golden-haired warrior with the figure of Ken and in glowing trolls.

What do you think of this, Gunnar?
I don’t like that, Olaf. From the latest news, Breivik turned in the grave.
This is the number! Is he dead?
No matter how. He watched the news, broke the TV and demanded a grave. had to obtain.
To whom is his grave?
I do not know. Another fucking philosophy. He demonstrately leaned into it and also demonstrately turned over.
You know, Gunnar...
What is Olaf?
Do not change the TV.
Why is?
It will collapse.
The TV?
and Breivik.

My aunt washed the floor and knocked the shell on the shelf, as a result of the fingers in the whole eye. At work, she honestly told her sensitive female team the whole truth, but apparently did not dispel any doubts. The next day I came with a broken arm. The group sympathizes:
“Oll, you’re... say it honestly, husband, right?
No is! I am myself!
We are all here, we have been working together for 15 years.
I am myself, honestly. His own hand was broken!

My husband works as head of the IT department in a large holding company. He was contacted by a woman from one of the departments. The question was: "What to do? My Word is over."
Since no one decided to answer this question, I had to go to the workplace of this woman herself. When the man approached, the picture was the following.
There was only one file on the desktop (respectively "Word"). When it was opened, it appeared to contain 54,000 pages. In the future it turned out that this woman, joining this company 10 years ago, created a document for herself and kept it all the time. Just one file! Here he is finished!
How she was looking for it remains a mystery.

A well-known administrator of the next entertainment publication in VK, almost daily arranges the type of night chat and as the first throw asks some not very intellectual question about your favorite time of year, how many years have you first tried to bite cockroaches, and so on. Today his questioner was, at first glance, banal and prosaic, he sounded "describe your day in one word".

Seven minutes later, a friend enthusiastically cried in my face that for the first time in his life saw so many variations of the name of the fattened fur beast, and the founder of the public ordered to be more careful with questions for the night.

When I had just learned the letters, I had a great interest in reading the signs, and they were often made up of some kind of incomprehensible words such as "IKMEK" or "ŽILEK-ŽILEŠ-YASELČE". I also thought that I was just still reading, and then my parents explained to me that I live in Tatarstan, and half of the signs here are in Tatar.

Sharing and sharing everything? The important thing is that you get more out. Ambulance, police, road cleaning and snow cleaning. Let someone else pay, right?

In recent years, the taxes are most often paid just for Mikhalkov’s films and companies, military operations at borders and abroad, the uncontrolled increase in the number of officials and their wages. Roskomsabor and media control. The agitation of the people again.

The Comrade!
If you can pay a hired worker (e.g., a finisher) a maximum of $20, then depending on your mutual cunning (and his professionalism), you will pay him from 0 to 20. And he will give them a thousand to the state. I put it in my pocket 19.
But if under the same conditions you still have to pay for him 5 thousand dollars to the state (from your own pocket), then more than 15 you will not pay him under any conditions - you will simply not have them.
At the same time, what is typical, he will only get 14, you will pay all the 20, which he was willing to pay, and the state will say that the employee took only one thousand.

A blind rabbit runs along the path and stumbles at the snake. He speaks to the serpent:
“Sorry, I am blind and have not seen you, because I am blind, I don’t even know who I am.
The serpent answered:
I understand you. I am blind and I don’t know who I am.
The Rabbit offers:
Let’s feel each other and determine who we are.
The snake touches the rabbit and says:
You are soft, furry, with a short tail and long ears. You are probably a rabbit.
The rabbit, in turn, felt the snake and said:
You are cold, slippery, you have a small head and a very long tongue. You may be a project manager or project manager.