Today, Mom, about her brain X-ray:

Oh, I found my brains, they were in the closet on the shelf.

key4: Career in a religious organization. What needs to be done to succeed? What are the mechanisms of promotion in the rank and position?
Kobold: Be able to turn water into wine, raise the dead, feed the crowd with 5 buttons
Kudeyar: Are you sure that Topicstarter wants to repeat that career?

Gopnik

Dharma

Gopnik

Do you have video surveillance in the store???? to

Gopnik

It is for sale. :D

In addition to:
"I am in the hospital. For the first time in my life I had to put a clitoris..."

How I understand you.) I had it all too, but only the enema was put on by a cute young nurse. My first phrase after the “invasion” was: “Mada, in my fantasies with beautiful nurses everything was different...
The girl was also with a sense of humor - laughed and slightly squeezed the package with the solution "To talk less:)")
I wanted to come later - to invite somewhere, but it was somewhat uncomfortable after all that was between us.)

From the Israeli Russian-speaking forum:
Does anyone have Mein Kampf in Hebrew?
You know a lot about the perversions.

A couple of days ago, a case of a cat on a tree was described here, which turned out to be a soya and flew away, which shocked the storyteller.
Here is my similar.
I met a guy. We went to him to the land he loved and was proud of. On the way, I hear an enthusiastic story about the cleanest lakes in the district, the most beautiful forests, the most wonderful sunsets. They say we have animals in the woods. They go straight out on the road. rabbits, rabbits and rabbits. I said..."... At this time a fat rabbit ran out on the road". We have slowed. This creature has crossed the road, ran to a tree, crashed on it and, in the lighthouse, sits and blows on us with reflective eyebrows.
The guy was not confused and, yes, boastfully: "Yes! These are the rabbits!"

Are you alone, my joy?
Circunflexo: No, fucking, I have two lovers here, one under the bed and the other in the closet!
Ha1t: You don’t like them... You have a century-old layer of dust under your bed and a mess in your closet.

Admin: *November* I bought a 250ml compressed air bottle. It is 450 rubles. I disassembled the computer, washed everything well (the vacuum cleaner cleans between the refrigerator ribs, from the power unit, etc.). I smashed and smashed the food block and everything at all. The computer started to look like it was new (the vacuum cleaner does not work like compressed air). I admired, rejoiced and gathered.
Admin: *December* I don't know if the apartment is dusty, or something else... In short, in the edges of the refrigerator and in the feed block is full of dust. There is dust on the wings. I bought a balloon with compressed air. I picked up/gathered everything.
January is the same fucking day! I bought a balloon, disassembled the computer, pudded, assembled.
Admin: *February * Yes to me!! to
Admin: March is a joke. I bought a compressor. and happy.

I lie on the window, I don’t touch anyone. I sleep with one eye, with the other I watch the spiders sleeping outside the window. The owner is sitting at the computer as usual.
I hear the noise, turn around and catch a suspicious gaze of the owner. Hm, strange... Then another, already joyful and full of hope. He slowly stood up and approached me with a wide smile. Gladiates, shakes behind the ear, scratches the throat, stomach. Euforia... She kisses her nose and is about to leave, but she stops, and, bowing to me, whispers conspicuously:
My sunshine, my sweet, glamorous cat, I know you will take me on when the time comes. The Truth?
He kisses his nose again and returns to the computer with a happy look.

What was it?! = ( ^ o. o ^ ) =

Ololowa (22:42:26 13/03/2012)
Hi, I am wildly scammed by spammers, shortest answer to the question 2+2*2?
Andriyushka Kulich) (22:42:29 13/03/2012)
6 is
Andriyushka Kulich) (22:42:40 13/03/2012)
6 is
Andriyushka Kulich) (22:42:46 13/03/2012)
6 to :D
Andriyushka Kulich) (22:44:25 13/03/2012)
8 is
Ololowa (22:44:27 13/03/2012)
You can write anything!
Andriyushka Kulich) (22:44:36 13/03/2012)
Why 8? :DD

Most people like to do nothing.

maradonabest: I think I can pull you to the office on computer affairs on Saturday?
Panic: I don’t take nature :)
You have not seen the secretary.

Ranedo: I know a guy of one...cowner programmer :D
Good combination :D
Has the iron broken? In the armor!

Fuck it.

...And here, the end of the world will come, will fly to Nibiru and destroy our beautiful planet, but before that, a huge alien ship will descend to Earth and come out of it... Cat, and he speaks with a human voice: No, humans, we have long observed your planet, our secret agents are watching you, people, day and night, without laying their toes, ears and tails, and we have come to the conclusion that despite all your shortcomings, some individuals from the human race are still worthy of salvation, and after his words, millions of cats and cats around the world, will stretch their empty legs, amazed masters and hookes for their hands, and will rise in the stream of the world to a new life; but not every cat-owner will be honoured, but only those of them who

I love my cat like, and I chew behind my ear, and I give from my plate the most delicious, and I buy him all kinds of snacks.. and I am forgiven for this that he has no eggs????!! to

Wife: Dear, you with beets, cabbage and pomegranates what soup to cook?

ch ch ch
And I smoked and listened to Dabbestop.
ch ch ch
No, I joke of course.
ch ch ch
I don’t listen to Debbie.

Comments on the erotic comedy with young Jackie Chan:

During the filming of a porn film, Jackie Chan twice stretched out his tongue and three times his penis.

The Russian mothers.
In the subway, I heard one saying to a formerly hysterical little boy:
Don’t stop crying, I’ll hurt you again.

from ZH:

The Old Testament is a piece of the Torah, about the Jewish religion there mainly. Read the Gospels, where a third of God is written.
yyy:"third of God" )) it is great, it is +100 ))))
Zzz: Once upon a time God sent a piece of a son to the earth.

In connection with the harmfulness of fatty foods, I suggest on cakes, sausages, salts and other high-calorie foods to write “Fat kills”, “Big stomach leads to “mirror” disease” (This is when you see the penis only in the mirror), “Stop eating!” “Center is too much!”