After the epidemic, the authorities will resolve and punish the culprits:
People because their hands are badly washed.
Doctors are badly treated.
Heroes will be rewarded: officials and television callers.

If there is chemistry, there will be physics. Divorce and mathematics.

How I almost drowned in school competitions and swam third

The third class. I and a few other classmates go to an athletic group (fortunately I don’t even understand why, apparently, it would be).

Fizruk says, “There is a possibility to put you in the pool.”

I said, “I can’t swim.”

“Well, at the same time you will learn,” persuaded Fyzruck.

Oh well ok.

The school with a swimming pool was located in the neighbouring district. The school was not a profile for athletes, but simply had a swimming pool that has not collapsed since Soviet times. In general, the pool also had its specifics - it was strictly for children (not even for adolescents) - at first it had a depth "by the knee", and at the end of my third-class was slightly above the heels.

Swimming in the pool, where you always feel the bottom, was easy. And "to the depth" I almost never swam, except to push away from the shore.

Thro the winter, we were engaged in swimming, and in my case rather walking, and in the spring, the physician told us that there were competitions between schools, including swimming.

“We need to introduce experienced swimmers in every age category! You went to the swimming pool all the winter – it’s time to show everything you’ve learned!” Importantly, as if from the tribune, he was speaking phyzruck.

Said is done. The girls enrolled, the quotas for athletes were covered. I took a calm breath and stayed on the “reserve bench.”

On the day of the competition, a fist comes to me:

Do you have a swimsuit with you?! to

And what?

Damn take it! I had a swimsuit with me because after the lessons there was a swimming pool.

- Katka did not come to school today, and we can't call her! It’s time to go to the competition!! You will be in her place!

I can’t swim...

Why are you swimming there? Just a hundred! In your age category other species are not stated at all. You will push back stronger from the border and forward!

Maybe I should not send anyone instead of a catch? I had an auction stage.

I have already submitted it as a member. From our team then the glasses will be removed for the unappeared athlete.

Okay well. Power for the team.

At this point no one understood the magnitude of the mutual misunderstanding.)

Competitions were already held in special swimming pools for athletes, and right from the start I went under water. Not feeling the bottom, I desperately wandered around the circle, trying to catch up with at least a tile of the border. It was honestly heroic. After a while, I felt the vector of the right direction – a pin in the back with my leg – and a miracle! I was swimming. There I could already, going under the water, feel the bottom, so I pushed back and cheered that there was urine. At the finish I was waiting for a rescue depth "by the chest" and a frightened physique:

What? what? What was it?!! He was grumbling.

Let me tell you that it is deep!

This is a pool for competition.

I said I can’t swim!! to

I thought you were humble!

Snoring with emotions (and I also with water), physruck and I did not notice that of the six tracks of "experienced swimmers of the younger age category" I went to the finish of the third.

I and Abramovich, I and Greff, I and Sechin – this is the social distance... And with normal people on the street, I just have a distance between physical bodies.

One day I turned off from fatigue, my son was a year old with a small one. Lie on the bed, he was playing on the floor next to him, riding a machine with large wheels. I slept and listened. As I heard or felt it, I could be with my eyes closed. I lie. I sleep. He is playing. He is nearby. Everything is OK. He rides the machine on the floor. He is a little silent, but there is something going on there. He rides the machine on the floor again. Now on my back. How pleasant! and Kaif. Riding on the back and shoulder. Again on the floor. Now in the face. Poppy is Katy. Not to open my eyes. Running on the hair. On the cheek. It smells shit. It smells more shit! I open my eyes. He rolled a bunch, crushed with his fingers, crushed on the floor. She rolls on her wheels and then on me, on my face and my hair.

I went to my bakery at home, and they are collecting puddles. The bakery is cool, the guys are young, sociable, it is nice to just go even for a fresh bread. It turns out that the owner of the room called them and said:

“There are difficult times now, all my tenants have problems with money. Many were closed. This month, the rental will be a little different. We’ll go up at 5,000 and then we’ll see. You have bread, and you will not stop taking it.

Well, let him look "there", and the guys move to the neighboring room for half the price for 3 months, and then for 7 thousand. Cheaper than today. Hopefully they’ll all be fine, the bridesmaids are delicious!

I work with the watchdog method.

We live in a dormitory together.

We go to the bathroom together.

We go to work together on the bus.

But you can only go into the dining room one by one. Is it worth saying that we are standing in front of the dining room together?

I was very nervous about it.Now I looked at it all.Now I was nervous about it.Now I was nervous about it.Now I was nervous about it.Now I was nervous about it.Now I was nervous about it.Now I was nervous about it.Now I was nervous about it.Now I was nervous about it.Now I was nervous about it.Now my mom was nervous about it.Now I was nervous about it.Now I was nervous about it.Now I was nervous about it.Now my mom was nervous about it.Now my mom was nervous about it.Now I was nervous about it.Now I was nervous about it.Now I was nervous about it.Now I was nervous about it.Now I was nervous about it

It is a pity that in our time, fewer and fewer agree to black work and more and more agree to black affairs.

So, I decided to collect puzzles under the tea with fleas tonight. Ordinary banal puzzle, puzzle, piece by piece.
Okay, it did well ?

I have these puzzles tightly linked to two people. The first person is my daughter. I used to be a DJ on "Master Radio" once in the broadcast that my child loves puzzles.
The DJs were very loved and danced. My daughter gave me two puzzles. Being a smart kidner, she quickly studied them and in a couple of days already folded as a Korean soldier the Kalashnikov machine. It always took me, I could watch her collecting puzzles as they look at the fire, the river and what else.

And the second person is one of my former bosses, Pasha. A man he was, though young, but very focused, purposeful and demanding. He worked as a pharmacist and I worked as a translator. The discipline in the office was iron. The working day began at 8:00 p.m., who did not reach - for every minute minus a dollar from the salary.
Pasha treated me respectfully, but once because of the strong ice I was not just late - I was late for an hour and a half. Just the transport all stopped, because the ice road from the sky still rained. Pasha thought, but still everyone who was late then fined according to the scheme.
I lost almost half of my salary.

Evil I have hidden. And on her birthday she gave her favorite boss a gift individually from herself - a huge puzzle the size of a carpet on a wall, a landscape with a castle.

The next day at eight in the morning, Pasha was not there. Everyone was surprised because he wasn’t drinking at all. In other words, the boy was right.
He was not there at nine. There was no ten either. He appeared only without a quarter of twelve. With terribly red eyes and although restrained but blurred sight. Without removing the calculator, he told the accountant to deduct $225 from his salary, after which he removed a paper with his own order on fines from the wall.

And passing by me, stealing showed me the fact and quietly said:
And yet I collected it.

In vain you laugh at those who burned the 5G tower in North Ossetia. Do you understand physics? No is? And they all have 100 points of EEG there.

xxxx: I got the stuff! Is this a high difficulty for you? hands - two, legs - two, eyes - two, head - in availability, you did not lose when creating a Persian, you did not have a career in India or Somalia, did up to adulthood, free-to-play up to 18 years minimum, education free, from the crane almost drinking water, a roof over the head and an internet bonus - AND ALL THAT, SCKO, THAT IS LITTLE! And amins are goats, and donuts, and stuff shit, and more exotic complaints! It is all in your hands! All the manuals - there is, roll any branch (except magic - hz when fixed), and you want - be a multi-class (boxer lawyer - not a fiction) - but you did not read the manuals, did not listen to the mentors who said "learn", and now you do not know! I don't like - *RosComNadzor* and on rep on the Indian system.

Yyy: Can I get another specialist in the service?

One day, in a break between work, I decided to do it again. The Russian philosopher. Since the outcome of the admission was me, in principle, not important, my mood was extremely pofigistic. I would even say, a playful mood. And I got a difficult question at the literature exam: "Revolutionary themes in the lyric of Nekrasov".

My yo...

I, besides that this work, Vanya, was a terribly enormous and dull-poor Belarusian, remembered nothing. at all. Therefore, when I went to the examiners' table, my sight was insanely confident, my sight straight, and my speech clear and firm.

I said, “I fear that this work of Nekrasov does not quite correspond to the stated themes and does not reveal revolutionary nature, but I want to tell you about it...”

And with a glass eye and pathetics in his voice, he issued a two-page composition of a 17-year-old ballbess named Vitaly, that is, a poet who poets himself.

Brad type: And in the hot spot he gets, and in the high castle that on the rock runs. The men gathered together, strangely smiling. A large crowd is rushing out.

Moreover, since I declamated without speech and with a worthy Stanislavsky intonation, I was sure that I would be stopped in the second paragraph. But not. The fifty-five-year-old chairwoman and her young colleague raised their eyebrows and listened to everyone! Until the end!

of course! Absolutely unknown work of the great writer. Several times during the Benefit I was laughing, but I resisted, realizing that without it I would now be taken to clean water and crucified. Maybe even a couple of times...

Again I was wrong! The chairwoman fixed her glasses on her nose and said, “You o-shi-ba-e-se!” I stumbled in anticipation of the phrase "This is not Nekrasov", but Madame continued: "Nikolai Alekseevich in this work speaks precisely about the predisposition of society to rebellion. The meaningless and merciless" and further explained to me how the great poet was guided by creating this verse.

Assessment of 4. Free...

The call. The Polite Man (VH)

VH (the old friend’s tone)

Good day! We and you in February 2019 wrote to (the name of a well-known website for sales) about the stangist belt..You haven't bought it yet...

I: Yeah... well, probably yes...

VC (with enthusiasm)

- I have a great offer for you - Belarusian shower at a favourable price!

I :...

and Taxi.

I arrived at the address, waiting for the client. A woman comes out. He goes to my side. A mask, which, unfortunately, is rare among passengers. I think I praise her, because I work in the respirator myself. She sits in the car, looks at me and takes off her mask.

Why did you remove the mask?

I’m tired, I’m walking all day today.

I am a virus.

These masks do not help. I can also get infected.

I: And without it you can infect me.

You have such a job...



Well, yes, I went to her.

When I was in the third grade, we were asked to write a story about any family member. The choice fell on my grandfather, because from him I often heard some stunning stories from life and colorful material was enough. The task included five questions from the answers to which the story itself was subsequently built. I asked my grandfather who he was working for. Grandfather spoke about working in the circus, about how he trained elephants and giraffes. Giraffes walked the arena on their back legs. And the elephants balanced on the rope under the dome. He told a lot of interesting. I have never been so proud of myself. My story was the best! Who else can boast of something like this? Everybody listened with open mouths. One boy started laughing at me. He said I invented it. But I knew he was just jealous of me, because he wrote a boring story about my mother’s baker. I came home and began to talk about my triumph. Grandfather began to roast like not himself, grandmother began to mock him, but periodically crashed to laugh, like the mother who came later from work. He said he was joking.

I remembered the story from my rehearsal experience (I teach English).

I was invited to a ninth-grade girl with a request to draw grades in school and help with homework, "or it is difficult for her." Classes once a week.

The Week 1. I come to the first class, my mom accompanies me to the student’s room and excitingly blows something like “Mashenka, do it well!” The elderly Mashenka whispers and irritatedly answers, “Good, okay, go already.” I begin to suspect it won’t be easy. Not wrong - the next ten minutes clarify that Masha knows English somewhere at the second grade level. The most unpleasant situation for the tutor is that parents ask for "strengthening the assessments", and there is a good need for more than one year of intense work, so that the child begins to understand the current material in school. Okay, let’s start with the tasks. Under my constant bullshit, Masha slowly tries to get into the process. She was obviously not used to stress. Explain, explain, please learn the rules next week, I give a homework.

Week of 2. Of course, nothing has been learned. I warn you that if this happens again, we will not continue the class. Masha is silent.

Week of 3. The car mother reports that the class will not be, Masha is sick. Okay it happens. November in the courtyard.

Week of 4. My mother is healed. Oh, you know, she’s recovered, but she still has a little cold... Let’s cancel this week too.

A small cold. In the ninth class. It makes an hourly English lesson absolutely impossible. Nina is fine.

Week of 5. Mamma Mia calls. The cold has passed. Let’s continue the lessons in a month.

I am? ? to ? to

Momma Mashi: Well now is the last week before the holidays, she is no longer in the mood to study. Then a week of holidays, then the first couple of weeks of study she too will not be able to study immediately, she needs to return to the process, to adjust.

I, of course, a teacher and even with a diploma, but Nihren did not understand. He courteously refused further training. My mom was very surprised by this decision.

Oh my parents.

History is the science of a hypothetical past.

I am Soviet.
In the flash of coronavirus outbursts, reorganizations and refinancing, he did not pay any attention to the memes that appeared in the messages. Until now, such a "funny" mem with a "dirty" Soviet symbol has not stolen into business correspondence with a very reliable and very decent Moscow partner. Also a former Physfakov, also from MGU and also from OIAI. and unexpectedly. With a good person with misunderstandings you can only talk long and carefully. Such relationships are valuable. The answer was long. Here is he:
“You know that I was born and raised in Frunze. Now it is Kyrgyzstan. And 10 classes before the physical facade of the Moscow University graduated there, in the simple Soviet school number 2. At present, Frunze (Bishkek) is a deep hopeless province. My thanks to the unified Soviet textbooks and the unified Soviet school program. The school program and textbooks were the same - both in Moscow and Kyrgyzstan. Everywhere in the USSR. Soviet culture (culture, as Harari even interpreted it in "Sapiens") created a small fractal there - in our "academic" house in the very center of the city of 82 apartments, about 70 were for visiting specialists. The Soviet specialists. Which from scratch raised everything the outskirts needed - science, medicine, production, cinema, trade, even dance and circus, you name it... The center at the same time won at least twice - sent specialists had a fantastic career growth, impossible in the center, and the outskirts produced themselves, - and products, and people. Yes is. produced the people.
The production of people in Soviet culture. Where to find research staff in Kyrgyzstan? My parents, both mom and dad, were schoolchildren in the villages, they only spoke Kyrgyzstan. Both of them were pulled out of the village by a commission arriving, capturing gifted schoolchildren throughout Kyrgyzstan. There were only Jews and Russians. To avoid local “protection”. All tests (then "tasks") were virtually independent of the language. It was in Stalin’s time. My future parents and other gifted children were selected by the commission (in two different regions), and they were brought to the 5th school-internat, in Frunze, where they were taught Russian and prepared for the necessary subjects to the university - future chemist and biologist, future professors. All this was already done by a local university, also with a single Soviet program. It was also part of an integrated program.
The son of these parents enrolled in the physfak of the Moscow State University, graduated from the department of quantum statistics and worked at the OIAI (Soviet Nuclear Institute, established in the 50s) at N.N. Bogoliubov. It must say something to you already.
When Gorbachev, Pavlov, Yeltsin, Chubais and others with them made life absolutely impossible for the salary of a physicist in the IAEA, this same guy from Frunze left with his wife and children to Los Alamos, to the state nuclear center, he was taken immediately, lightning as he indicated the readiness to move. Here, the potential opponent appreciated the quality of Soviet training.
You know that this guy lives and works in Zurich. And in this life he is not only engaged in science, - those very Soviet special courses in philosophy and Marxist-Leninist political economy have proved very useful for the development of Swiss space and European humanitarian material.
The ability to learn, immersed in it by many dozens of exams at the MSU, made studying at a Swiss business school a simple walk. Why am I all?
I was often asked and asked here in Zurich: “Do you have a Russian wife and you speak Russian, do you feel Kyrgyz or Russian?”
I always answered and answered the truth: “I am Soviet.”
Ideal countries and cultures in history have not been, are not and will not be. But the Soviet Union was and will remain unbeatable in the true greatness of its fantastic victories, innovations and breakthroughs, and the main of them is Soviet culture. She is now forever. With all the Soviet wounds, problems and tragedies caused not by systemic but managerial errors in an absolutely new system. And the further, the better it will be seen, history will tell it all.
I am a Soviet. I am afraid of the Soviet symbols. And I see in them the light of what they thought.”

Do you remember who worked?? to