The Cat's Logic

Ignoring a piece of meat
Ask for a piece of black bread and grind.

Let you explain to the girl that the men "not fat" judge by the visual leanness of the figure, and not by the figure on the scales - the tea is not a doctor at the clinic)))

Trolling on regional television - advertising of the fair of natural fur shoes for music from "In the world of animals"))))

Do you know what is interesting? Three months have passed, and since November 1st there have been no updates about the news with the seizure in Moscow of the alleged former KVNnik 174 kg of heroin. Everything was taken and forgotten, including the press.

Sex is my job!
Our children are our salary.
I work for an idea!

A friend sent:

XXX: The guys at work out today
The Kazakh interfaces will need to be reworked.
A lot to rebuild?
Give someone a lot of help.
Chief: If there are TZ and descriptions with schemes, then Dimu... and if not, then Vasily
Q: Are you very busy right now?
X: Is something broken? Do you behave strangely? The client fell from Mars and does not show signs of intelligent life?
XXX: Give Basil, he will do anything

Janis Varufakis, an economist from Athens who advised Valve on the creation of virtual goods markets in Dota 2 and Team Fortress 2, became Greece’s finance minister. This is by Eurogamer.
Janis started his career at Valve in 2012. It was he who advised the creators of Dota 2 and Team Fortress 2 on how to correctly establish commodity-money relationships between fans of popular games.
Now in Greece will start selling hats
Mikhail: Travel to Greece 4-pack with 80% discount
Den: Profile icon for 8 rounds in a row

Do you want real prices? Make real deadlines.

Not my own:
How the French rolled eggs
I am from Saratov, but I am currently studying in France. My wife and I are going back to Paris. A friend meets at the airport. He is French, and like any French, he loves to eat. He invited us to dinner in the evening and asked to prepare some Russian dish for an aperitif. With little thought, we decided to prepare an Olivia salad. And a friend was surprised that the Russian salad has a French name. Since we rented a very small apartment, we decided to cook with a friend (his name is Cyril). We went to the nearest store, bought products and went to him. It was raining on the street.
We went home, I immediately put cooking vegetables and eggs. I opened a Bordeaux bottle. And then I realize that there is no time for cooking eggs. 
I get up, take a tablespoon, catch one egg, put it on the table and shook sharply. The egg rotates quickly, I realize it has been cooked “hard” and can be turned off. I poured hot water, poured cold water and sat down at the table again. The faint Cyril looks at me, he’s stuck with a bottle of wine and is silent. I also remain silent and await his further reaction, as I do not understand what it is about. We sit like idiots. After 10 seconds, he says, “Why did you roll the eggs?”
I seriously answer, “I forgot to check the time and wanted to check their readiness.” He falls into the final shock, then drinks a glass and apparently makes some conclusions, saying, "That is, you say that raw and cooked eggs rotate at different speeds?"
My friend laughs, and I know what’s going on. Cyril sits in shock... “It can’t be so!” he finally gives. I decide to prove that he is wrong. I am looking for raw eggs in the refrigerator to conduct an experiment, and they are not (in France eggs are mostly sold in packs of 4 pieces). Go to the store and buy more.
On the street no longer rains, there is rain! by Pofig! They took a umbrella (one on three) and went, on the way he met 2 classmates and told them the whole situation, they were interested (naturally not believed!) He also decided to go with us. We bought eggs and went home.
One of Cyril's friends is called by his girlfriend and says that she and her brother and two friends are already waiting for him, and he says: "I will wait a little while, we met Cyril and want to conduct an experiment." Tell them the situation. They were also interested and said they would come in 10 minutes. We decided to wait for them on the street.
There are five people under one umbrella and an egg in the hand. A young couple was passing by, and it turned out to be neighbors of Cyril. The French are curious!! They also asked, “Why are you wet guys?” Forgot the keys?“Our French friends are already choreographing and telling a story about eggs and about the experiment being prepared. Sirius invites them.
Finally the guys we were waiting for arrived and we are going to “turn the eggs” with the whole crowd!!! I put two eggs on the table: one cooked, the other raw. And so proudly I say, “Look!” I shake eggs. Naturally, the eggs rotated at different speeds, and the raw rotated much slower. So they told me that I was mocking, that I was specifically swirling with a different force!!! to 
None of the French believed that they had a different speed. They said that the same eggs in weight and shape should rotate the same way (they have bad physics at all). I say, “Let’s try it now!” and that’s where it started!!! They began to approach and turn the eggs.
Imagine a picture: Paris, the kitchen, a line from the French to the table on which the eggs spin! When the next Frenchman twisted the eggs and realized that they were actually rotating at different speeds, he turned aside, poured a glass of wine and quietly looked at the others. And in the eyes of such a thoughtfulness, as if the meaning of life had changed.
At the end of the “turning of eggs” one guy said to me, “Russian people are brilliant people!” and I replied, “We are surprised by our own lives” and inspired by this phrase decided to show a video about Russia, where a truck with cows turns around and a woman breaks off the car’s buffer. 
The Frenchman remained silent for a long time, and then said: "There is just an extraordinary people living in Russia. 
And you know what? I sincerely regret America, she expects one thing from you, and you respond to her completely differently. I would very much like France and Russia to live in friendship, because France cannot argue with you. We fought once and we don’t want to fight again. Your logic cannot be calculated.”
My self-love was very touched by these words and we happily went to do Bordeaux=)))

Surprisingly, the hardest blow to the domestic meat and milk industry was the rise in prices of soybean and palm oil.

When you buy flowers to your wife, think ten times if there is a bunch behind you.

The mood has risen this morning! Calls from a beekeeper operator a girl offering another discount. He says literally the following:
Hi to you! You probably know that you’ve been with us for 10 years. This is a time!! to
I am sorry that I was embarrassed to ask for the bonuses to be sent out.

What is the difference between handmade and handjob? Same as between handball and gangbang.

I came from work, crawling through the channels of the box. According to "Disney" goes "Witch Delivery Service". Advertising pause: the advertisement of the shave "Jilet", the relay of the motor oil, the advertisement with the grandmother in the pose of the bridge... Is it, I understand, Disney conducted a marketing research on the target audience of Miyazaki?! to

The trial of the creator of the group VK "Children-404"

Judge L. P. began with a quote from the group: “If religion makes you unhappy and makes you feel damaged, isn’t it better to abandon it? You can change your religious views, but change your orientation is not in your power. I don’t need a god who forbids me from loving.” The judge also read a comment from the protocol: “These comments call for a believing teenager to abandon God in favor of homosexual relations, which undoubtedly violates the freedom of religion of citizens.”
What can you say about this? The judge asked.
- These are comments to the letter of a believing girl who thinks of suicide, - replied K. There were a lot of comments, including those. They do not violate freedom of religion, according to the Constitution everyone has the right to choose a religion or not to profess it. The main thing was to keep her from committing suicide.
That is, in choosing between sodomy and suicide, do you offer a teenager sodomy?
If this is the choice, there is no other option.
But she has already made her choice. She says it’s a terrible sin for her, and she can’t accept it.
That’s why she was offered to abandon a religion that brings thoughts of suicide. Is suicide better?
What’s better than Sodium?

What to laugh at here? Well, for example, over the fact that suicide is one of the heaviest sins in Christianity, heavier than murder and sodomy.

There comes a message from the girl: “Thank you for being in my life, and also for the pain.” In confusion, I call her, the subscriber is not a subscriber, I sit and break my head, in which I am again guilty. After 15 minutes comes another text message: "Thank you for being in my life, and also for the big blanket and morning embrace..."Fuff))))!

Modern Wedding Toast: We fucked, fucked, fucked, and finally touched. Cheers to us!"

XXX: Can you reinstall my window?
Yyy: But you just bought a laptop, you have a new windscreen.
You are stupid, do you not understand the hint?
YYY: You can’t reinstall the screw, and I’m stupid?

Why a non-working woman is called a housewife, and not a working man is called unemployed.
Because the unemployed woman is doing the house, and the unemployed man, mostly, is waiting for the woman to come and work.

Yy: I am standing near the business center, smoking. Near the car, people unload the furniture, they come in, it seems. Probably one of their bosses:
If you smoke, discharge it.
Do you use Skype?
and yes. and what?
Not in that window.
He threw a puddle into the urn and went into the office.