bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №108650
 28.01.2015
aaa: 1.5 ltpa of pure spit + 3 ltpa of compot and at the time = cpuche does not occur.
Vodka is evil! Spirits too. I clean my mouse.
Ccc: You probably have a bad mouse. and :)

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №108649
 27.01.2015
I rented an apartment for a typical blonde. I gave the keys, after a couple of hours a call from her: the plate is not working. I come, it was just a fork not included in the rooster. A few days later, the call again: "Something wallpapers have started to stick off...". Less or less, the neighbors may have toothed. I come, and this lady glued the linen rope to a bilateral scotch right on the wallpaper on two opposite walls and hung things to dry, wallpapers and ripped off on both sides.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №108648
 27.01.2015
This is what leads to the habit of writing "chested" official letters...
I had to send a text message to my son about his illness.
She wrote:
"Nikita is poisoned and left home today".

I realized in time that something was wrong...

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №108647
 27.01.2015
DerArto: It seems to me that when Benedict Cumberbatch, Ingeborg Dappunaite, and Zack Gallifianakis were handing out the documents, they just fell face to face onto the keyboard.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №108646
 27.01.2015
Something long ago Lady Gaga did not appear in public in any meat dress.
Wow, what are you?! In the same dress, you can’t go out twice.
HHH: Aaa... well... So it’s like it’s been, it’s been home first, and then country.)))

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №108645
 27.01.2015
That is, let’s open a textbook on anatomy, a trailer to take a textbook on physiology and a spelling dictionary. And you will understand that there are no muscles that supposedly raise the penis during an erection.
— — —
When I see my buttock muscles glowing, my penis still rises...

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №108644
 27.01.2015
What does a thousand page have to do with the anniversary? There are 24 pages until the anniversary.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №108643
 27.01.2015
Says this:

Disputes are divided. Okay by Google. The weight of the penis.
A man with an average penis size wears 125 grams in sweaters (taking into account the weight of the testicles) if the penis is not excited, and 200 grams if it is erected.

According to the publication "Anatomy in Figures"
— — — —
The mathematician, physicist and engineer were given the same red rubber balls and told to determine their volume.
The mathematician measured the diameter of the ball and calculated the volume according to the formula for the ball.
The physicist placed the ball in a vessel with water and calculated the volume of displaced water.
The engineer opened a reference book of red rubber ball volumes.

[ + 35 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №108642
 27.01.2015
Cats catch mice not because they are their enemies, but simply to eat them. If each cat has a bitter food filled in a bowl, then the cat will prefer bitter food to some small, low-calorie sharp animal.
— — —
PZDZ, where this world goes... Here is a generation raised by sterilized roasted cat pigs. In our time, cats caught mice to play when they were full.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №108641
 27.01.2015
1C programming is what we do all tasks is getting slower and slower.
Not responding to letters.
I guess I don’t write it right, I should write it on 1C.
I sent such a letter:

washing of money;
Request = New Request
Request.Text = “choose
Unfulfilled tasks as tasks
from
All posts tagged as letters
Where are all my letters, it is a lie.

If the money = 0 then
Request to do so.Request to do so.Request to do so.
Ended
The Procedure (Full)
Final Procedures

She calls – what is the question? Code analyzed, no mistakes

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №108640
 27.01.2015
DerArto: We have a neighbor on the first floor who constantly cleans the entrance door from annoying advertisements. We call it AdBlock Plus.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №108639
 27.01.2015
AA: I will definitely be a woman in my next life. Just from curiosity.
NP: Call me if you...

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №108638
 27.01.2015
In the Crimea, a new currency appeared, a taxi operator who voiced the value in hryvnia. You have to voice in rubles., now - your cost of travel 120 grables))

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №108637
 27.01.2015
Picabu, discussion of the video game.

Nookle
This is the first Starcraft.

TankBuster1
Switch video resolution from 240 to 720

Nookle
This is the second Starcraft.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №108636
 27.01.2015
[12:26:06] Keir: Use Ali to look at the belt. He discovered a new material for himself. Cow skin is fucking. The Chinese!
Val: Nothing has changed since the days of the nosers

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №108635
 27.01.2015
If you were a girl, I’d go to the toilet with you.
No one has ever sent me to Fresno!! to

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №108634
 27.01.2015
I am studying in a terribly bureaucratized university, where even masters are forced, like postgraduate students, to lead an individual plan. In the case of scratches or changes in the design, respectively, they are forced to rewrite each time, which everyone has already gotten a lot. And here they called again: come to the university urgently, the plans for the next semester are not filled, and on Monday the commission from Moscow... I went to work, came to the department, I sit and fill. The professor approaches and with the words: "And I am here this.." writes on my curriculum with a pen the word "huy", looks at how my expression of the face changes, turns the pen, washes the written with the rubber attached to it, and ends the phrase "..I think you need all such pen buy".
So, I want to say, I have never seen such a crazy lunch advertisement before. "The Wolf of Wall Street" is resting.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №108633
 27.01.2015
Space.cat: When I look at the chart of the dollar exchange rate, I have the impression that I am looking at the chart of the weight of a forever losing aunt
Space.cat is 2 rubles. It is 2.5 rubles. I got 0.5 rubles. It is 0.8 rubles. I got 6 rubles. It was 10 rubles. Gathered...

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №108632
 27.01.2015
You fucking give:

And when you press the causal place with the width, you immediately start to fear the pants and come up with associations?
— — —
I am yes. I did not push the second time. Are you inclined to repeat your mistakes? Then I have bad news for you...
= = = = is = is = is = is = is = is = is = is

In order not to squeeze the causal place, wear shorts - and hygiene, and do not squeeze.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №108631
 27.01.2015
by George :
Tell me something wrong? I was given a radio-controlled helicopter a month and a half ago, and I haven’t even unpacked it yet.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna