bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №123474
 23.01.2016
When I read this book for the first time, I got drunk.

[ + 19 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №123473
 23.01.2016
on the morning planet.
We will cultivate our own specialists.
- O_O
This is a done process! I am a system administrator in the third generation.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №123472
 23.01.2016
From Zh.

You cannot fight against nature. According to information from the Laboratory of Ornithology of Cornell University, the average weight of the male colibri of the Anna breed is 1-2 grams, but can reach up to three grams in especially thick individuals. A couple of days ago, I bought a second 22-kg bag of refined sugar for my Vasy colibri. In nature, the nuclear reactor was invented before us, and it has wings.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №123471
 23.01.2016
From Habr, an article on a magnetic device-spiral that will help to get the sperm to the egg.

The direction of movement of Spermbot is determined by the orientation of the magnetic field. The process is controlled by the operator, receiving an image from the magnetic resonance imaging device.

The comments:
XXX is
Wait until we can play on the net.
YYYY
You have won once.


[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №123470
 23.01.2016
What if you put an antimonopoly on a copycat?
The copier owns the rights monopolistically.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №123469
 23.01.2016
What is it that prevents you from buying even a small boiler? There are also small electric circles, a teaspoon at the end? Does the frog suck an extra penny to pay? Then continue to drink cold water.

Something tells me that there, in the orchestral pit, it may be bad with personal electrical sockets. and ;-)

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №123468
 23.01.2016
After the success of Revizorro and StoreZino, the television company opens a new project. Meet the Bordeaux!

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №123467
 23.01.2016
Discussion of the appearance of Maria Semenova:

Q: Maybe another book?
xxx: For Volkodav she learned Aikido and went to the school of extrasensors
YYY: The school of extrasensors? The shield?
xxx yes yes
Zzzz: What surprised you so much?
YYY: "Maryvanna, can I go out?
Only in the astral".
xxx: "But there is already a wolf, and I am ashamed"

[ + 37 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №123466
 23.01.2016
There is a great way to fight piracy. In short, people need to be able to afford to use legal content.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №123465
 23.01.2016
Who are you in the sign of the zodiac?
Diamond: The Soviet
Cannabis: There is no such
Diamond: You just envy me, ugly cancer!

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №123464
 23.01.2016
Well, this is why it is best to rest when tomorrow to get up early and a hard day ahead.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №123463
 23.01.2016
An elderly couple, both 78 years old, comes to a sexologist.



The doctor asks, “What can I help you?”

The man replies, “Don’t look at how we have sex?”

The confused doctor agreed.

When it was all over, the doctor found no abnormalities and took $50 for the reception.

This lasted for several weeks in a row. The couple came, had sex, paid the doctor and left.

Eventually the doctor asked, “What do you want to reveal?”

“We don’t want to reveal anything,” the man replied. She is married and we cannot go home to her. I’m married and we can’t go home to me. A room in Marriott costs $90 and in Hilton $100. Here we do it for $50 and $43 is covered by my health insurance.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №123462
 23.01.2016
I worked not so long ago in the city of Melets of the Podkarpatsk Voivodstvo in Poland.

The city is famous for the fact that there are quite large enterprises of medium engineering, one of which in Soviet times made AN2 aircraft, and now Black Hawk helicopters.

Here is the corporate. One of my colleagues over the age of fifty sits down to me and begins:

Do you know what An-2 aircraft used to do in the USSR?

and yes.

There was history with them. The pilot’s door closed poorly, so the lock was lifted.

Yes, and what?

There was a warning from the USSR. Type, lock back to place, in the lower corner of the door.

Why is?

The door blinked, the pilot came, squeezed not the lock, the door opened. There is no upper stream.

I try to be polite without talking about this guy.

You are what! How interesting!

Yes, there were times...



Then I heard this story from another colleague. Then from the boss when we flew with him from Frankfurt.

Then from another colleague in Ufa, where we drank beer under a sprinkled horse, waiting for a delayed flight to Moscow.

And then another colleague:

You know, there were planes before.

- AN2, the door to which you need to suck because you could not even make a normal door?

How do you know?

I am from Siberia. Any child in Siberia knows that a Polish aircraft must be crashed before it opens, otherwise it will not work.

The eyes of the colleagues, if possible, jumped out of the turtle:

I thought it was a legend and not true.

Yes is no. Melecka Summer Factory is not only known in Poland.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №123461
 23.01.2016
The dependence of the Russian economy and the ruble rate on oil prices is decreasing. This was stated on 22 January by the chairman of the Bank of Russia Elvira Nabiullina, reports RIA Novosti.
YYY: What is it? And again? Is it they so subtly hint that even if oil rises, the ruble will continue to fall?! to

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №123460
 23.01.2016
X: Excuse me for being rude, but what shit is that?
Z: This is your mother, Lobo.
X: And who is this, my mother, Lobo?
Z: The invulnerable cosmic biker, a hunter of heads. Do you feel the crazy flowing from the screen?
X: No, I don’t feel it. I spend quite a lot of time behind the monitor, and so the roughness has long frozen on it with a thick crust.
Z is worthy.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №123459
 23.01.2016
In fact, in Russia there is only one problem - bad roads are not because of the smart ones.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №123458
 23.01.2016
While living in Berlin, Franz Kafka walked through the park every day. There he once met a little girl who lost her doll and cried loudly. Kafka offered to help her find and meet in the same place the next day.

Of course, the famous author did not find a doll. But he brought a letter written from her face. “Please don’t be upset by my absence,” Franz read loudly. I went on a journey to see the world. I will write to you about all my adventures.” The next few weeks they met in the park, and the writer read letters to the girl in which the painted doll described her trip.

Soon, Kafka suffered an exacerbation of tuberculosis, and he had to go to a sanatorium in Vienna. Before this trip, which was the last for the writer, Kafka met the girl and gave her a doll. She was not exactly like the girl she once lost. But it was accompanied by a note: “Travel changed me.”

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №123457
 23.01.2016
I have not had any black people in my family. Maybe I live in a racist family.

[ + 37 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №123456
 23.01.2016
You are a biologist, right?
XXX: Well, you plan at least)
Types of Yes
xxx: I have an unusual creative question to you on your professional ground.
YYY : WOW
XXX: Don’t be afraid and don’t call idiots.
Which scent smells stronger: alive or dead?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №123455
 23.01.2016
Today I had a cognitive dissonance, which I will not forget soon, so that it will take a long time. I usually go to work by car, and here the circumstances are shorter in public transportation. Sitting at the end. To honor the drivers to say, they were driving quite comfortably, smoothly, but at the same time fast and almost without violations, with manoeuvres under the light NFS. After driving in this mode a couple of stops my pattern began to shake a little, when I noticed that driving this healthy extended torpedo on the road, with the proud name MAN, a girl of 20-23 years of age in appearance, quite gentle, the very focus - clearly can drive. Further, my cracked pattern broke into pieces and bloody scratches sprinkled, probably even the front glass - a full-fledged, with light, barely noticeable, good makeup, the young gay O_o planned to sleep in the bus when he stood at the stop, but after what happened he could not... Something changed a lot in this world...

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