bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №93512
 05.02.2014
The admin! Do something with the mobile version of the site, constantly when scrolling I hit the buttons "bayan" and "-", ashamed before the innocent authors of quotes that suffered from my hands.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №93511
 05.02.2014
Let me advise the photocopy. Which is the best? Just a professional! I don’t want a semi-professional.
Czar: Let’s decide with you, why do you want to be professional? Do you understand that it is heavy and not compact? A lot of stuff...what are you filming?
I want them all to be filmed.
Czar: Basically what? Nature, people, in the studio you want to shoot, weddings... What?
And mostly myself.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №93510
 05.02.2014
XXX: The Fucking Pump
XXX: Forgiveness for Caps

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №93509
 05.02.2014
That is blasphemy.
Fairy To washes even in cold water
HHH: I already have my hands swollen.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №93508
 05.02.2014
Q: How are you doing in Maidan?
WOW: They have already evolved into archery and catapult.
Recently, stones have been thrown.

[ + 16 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №93507
 05.02.2014
Concern "Kalachnikov" will be headed by Kryvoruchko..... Bad machines will be, I feel....

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №93506
 05.02.2014
From the Auto Forum

I also burned the other day. I went to the service, checked.
Error of lighting :D
Thus e. She diagnosed herself, found a mistake in herself, and set herself on fire.

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №93505
 05.02.2014
If a woman does not break, she is angry.

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №93504
 05.02.2014
One aunt came to visit my mother and complained about her life.
“Everyone hates me. That is all! They envy our money, because Sasha and I recently bought a new land, sent our daughter to France. The car was recently bought by my husband, here is the one on which I came to you, and it is already all scratched. After all, every creature will inevitably pass by the car - and the nail will lead. How can you live in this bad Russia, tell me?”
My mother doubts. There is no way to literally hate everyone.
Maybe, said the acquaintance. The Russians are such a people, for them to envy like bread, otherwise and can not live.
Sitting for two hours for tea. Suddenly a sirene sounded out on the street. Svetlana Pavlovna jumped up when she heard her alarm. She ran to the window and yelled at her mother, throwing her finger into the glass.
Here, please look at it!
Mother approached the window, looking - in fact, two men are standing near the car of a friend. One presses on the car's cap, the other gently hits his foot on the tire.
“Here, here,” was our homeland, Russian, “wrote my aunt victoriously. - You can not just pass by a luxurious car, you must strike, push...
Mother looked at her friend so compassionately and said to her.
“Svetchka, please don’t be offended, but this one on the left is Stepan Arkadievich, our neighbor from the second floor. And the one, the other, in a fur hat - Anatoly, he is a courier. In the neighboring dairy store in the morning products bring. You have stood up so that the road has been blocked for them, and they cannot leave.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №93503
 05.02.2014
The doctor is familiar with the results of the tests. The patient:
How about doctor?
You can take a loan.
Do not give anything.
You will not have to.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №93502
 05.02.2014
Q: Why don’t you answer for so long?
We are too little known. Therefore, I carefully check the message sent several times for grammatical and punctuation errors, misconceptions and ambiguous expressions.
Q: Are you afraid of the scary Print Screen button or are you trying to make a good impression?
The first one =)
Oh yeah yeah yeah =(

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №93501
 05.02.2014
XXX: What is evil?
YYY: She didn’t sleep.
At night, the cat walked like a victim, in the morning, the husband snorted like a herd of bulldozers.
YYY: I want to cut off my cat’s eggs, my husband’s tail!
XXX: Did you confuse anything?

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №93500
 05.02.2014
The quote:
xxx: I can't understand who could have come to the mind to name a dish that is prepared for 2 - 2.5 hours, LENIUS PIGGERS!

All right is after all the name of the pigeons, not the person who is cooking them. And they, yes, are lenienly prepared. ))))

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №93499
 05.02.2014
This is:

24 years old, a constant girl, I can go to
I can always stay overnight, I can
A school friend and a couple of acquaintances.
The girls don’t mind taking them to the cafe.
When I get into the car, what am I doing wrong?
and----
All elementary. The former just did not leave, the school girlfriend is terrible, like the life of a political prisoner, a couple of girls are given for a paid account in a cafe - a legal form of prostitution. A constant girl is a sheep. perfectly sees all this sexodrome, but is complex and will find no one better because of problems with excess weight and acne. What are you doing so?)

[ + 35 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №93498
 05.02.2014
I listened to the conversation of two grandparents in the dressing room.
There’s a word in German that means ‘sorry, but you’re not right’, but in one word. There is no such thing in Russian. The second answer – not at all.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №93497
 05.02.2014
In the Zarah district of the Moscow region is planned to build a recreational base "Hobbit Village". ... and Mordor! Definitely Mordor Daddy!

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №93496
 05.02.2014
Not the best idea was in response to the question of the girl: how many I had sexual partners, and how many guys to count?

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №93495
 05.02.2014
XX: Stop the overwhelming :)
YY: It is in the army to scream like this in the barracks...

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №93494
 05.02.2014
Loh, catch the link. The company "Admiral", is engaged in the sale of sewage pumps. What can we offer to increase sales?
Change the name to "Admiral Kalchak"?

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №93493
 05.02.2014
I knew there would be some hiccups in this article. I am not wrong.
Tajikistan's ambassador's niece sentenced to 12.5 years in Belarus for smuggling heroin

At the same time, the lawyer of the accused Zafar Mahmudov stressed that Mubarakshova intends to appeal.

“She says she doesn’t know how a package of heroin could get into the suitcase, as it was in her bedroom all the time,” Mahmudov said.

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